Lymm Golf Club Senior Section

Rules quiz

In determining if your ball is in a penalty area, whether your ball has moved or what caused the ball to move, you must be:
A – 50% certain as to what happened to the ball.
B – 95% certain as to what happened to the ball.
C – 100% certain as to what happened to the ball.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Steven Bird

Only one of the following statements about our Happy Mondays organiser Steve is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. Steve is a classically trained opera singer
2. Steve’s uncle is the former Test Match cricket umpire the late Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird
3. Steve once played football against ex-England striker Trevor Francis

Answer below

Seniors Fun Game (For a bottle of vintage chateaux de Goodman) – Friday 3 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

A short report this week.

Please note:

Twenty players signed up for the competition, only seventeen entered their scores into IG, and just thirteen handed their cards in.

May I remind you all of the club rules concerning this matter:

6.8 Immediately after playing in a competition, all competitors must enter their cards via the IG app and upload a photograph of their scorecard before depositing their original card in the box outside the Professional’s Shop.

Please ensure when uploading a photograph this clearly shows that the card has been signed. Failing to do so can incur a one-week disqualification from club Competitions.

In essence, if you enter the competition, you must enter your scores in IG.

Results

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 6 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

Just 9 players turned up in one team of 4, one of 3 and one of 2. I suspect a combination of England’s victory in the early hours of Monday morning and an 18 hole away day in the Welsh borders on Tuesday probably accounted for the low turnout.

Winners were Kevin Bocquet and Alan Copeland with an average score of 29.5. Runners up were John Booth, Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas with 27. Top scorer for the day was Kevin with 31.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 9 July

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 12 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: Known or virtually certain means more than just possible or probable. It means that either there is conclusive evidence that the event in question happened to the player’s ball, such as when the player or other witnesses saw it happen, or although there is a very small degree of doubt, all reasonably available information shows that it is at least 95% likely that the event in question happened. (See Definition of Known or Virtually Certain)

Find the Fact answer

Fact 3 is correct. Steve played for Walsall FC youth team against Birmingham City youth team when he was 15. He had the dubious pleasure of marking Trevor who, at the age of 16 later that year scored four goals against Bolton Wanderers for the first team and ten years later scored the winning goal for Nottingham Forest in the European Cup Final. Steve’s footballing ambitions ended with that game when he realised he wasn’t going to ‘make it’

Whilst not classically trained to sing opera, Steve did spend a couple of years as a part-time semi-professional classical singer. Dickie Bird is not Steve’s uncle although he did once spend a night at Steve’s house when Steve engaged him as an after-dinner speaker for an Institute of Bankers dinner in Wolverhampton. Dickies fee was a very modest sum and ‘put me up for the night’. Steve had initially approached a former Yorkshire and England fast bowler whose fee was substantially above Steve’s budget!

Rules quiz

If your ball at rest is lifted by a dog, which of the following is true?
A – You must estimate the spot where ball was lifted and place the ball on that spot.
B – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball as near as possible to that spot, no nearer the hole.
C – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball within one club-length of that spot, no nearer the hole.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Game – Fun? Call that fun? – Friday 26 June

Reporter: Paul Foster

A small hardy band of seniors ignored all sensible advice and teed up for this week’s Bottle of Wine competition on what was officially the hottest day of the year. The sunshine also prompted the annual unveiling of the seniors’ summer wardrobe. There was an impressive collection of brightly coloured questionable fashionable shorts, accompanied by milk bottle legs poking out of the bottom. Whether they came for the golf or simply to avoid the gardening remains open to debate. With temperatures soaring, the fairways resembled the Serengeti, the greens were quicker than the bar queue after the round, and finding shade became almost as important as finding the fairway. Water bottles were in greater demand than drivers, and several players were heard claiming their golf balls had started to melt. The tropical conditions produced some distinctly average golf, maybe the heat could explain a few wayward drives (mine), missed putts and the occasional “selective” memory when it came to counting strokes. As always, excuses were plentiful and became more imaginative as the morning wore on. Fortunately, one player managed to keep both their head and their swing cool enough to emerge victorious and claim the much-coveted bottle of wine. A well-deserved congratulations to our winner Paul Collins, who now has the perfect accompaniment to rehydrate after 15 holes in the blazing sunshine. Well done to everyone who survived the heat, completed the course, and made it safely back to the clubhouse. Normal British summer weather, and the accompanying complaints about rain, are expected to resume shortly. In the meantime, members are reminded that suncream is cheaper than Aloe Vera, and that white legs are best introduced to the sun gradually!

Results

Seniors Get Together – Shotgun start, subsidised meal and prizes! – Friday 17 July

No booking schedule for tomorrow evening this week as we have a special treat lined up for you. All paid up members of the seniors’ section are invited to take part in a Seniors Golfing Get Together on Friday 17 July.

The event will be a fifteen-hole team competition (details of the format in next week’s newsletter). There will be a shotgun start at 9.00 a.m. (to be confirmed) with the intention of getting the teams back together in the clubhouse for some post-round analysis by around noon. The entry of just £10 includes brunch after your round, together with high-quality prizes for the top two teams. Your entry fee allows for a £5 subsidy from Seniors’ funds. The cash will be debited from your club account before the event, with refunds for cancellation only possible by close of play on Wednesday 15 July.

Please register your interest by the closing date of Monday 13 July by sending an email to Mike Kendall (kendallymmgolf@gmail.com or by messaging him on IG. A sign-up sheet will also be pinned to the Seniors noticeboard as soon as this newsletter goes live.

There is a limit of 44 players so it will be first come first served. Book early to avoid disappointment!

Teams will be drawn at random, and you will be advised of your playing partners and starting hole in advance of the day. No team switching will be allowed!

Happy Mondays Report – 29 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

After sweltering weather in recent days a welcome return to near perfect golfing conditions with hazy sunshine and a cooling breeze.

Sixteen players turned up to play – two teams of 4, one of 3, two of 2 and one player who made up a team of three with two (not paid up) Seniors. Needless to say the latter card was ineligible which was a pity because our guy scored 37 points!

One of the teams of two did not complete the requisite 15 holes. 

Of the ‘survivors’ the winners were Steve Barlow and Barrie Simpson who averaged 30.5

Runners up were Mike Bennett, Andrew Cox, Colin Crail and Richard Yates with an average of 26.5.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 5 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: If it is known or virtually certain that an outside influence (including a dog) lifted or moved a player’s ball at rest, there is no penalty, and the ball must be replaced on its original spot (which if not known must be estimated). (See Rule 9.6)

Rules quiz

When taking relief from an abnormal course condition in the general area, the ball must be dropped in:
A – A relief area of one club-length and can roll up to two club-lengths.
B – A relief area of one club-length and must come to rest within the relief area.
C – A relief area of two club-lengths and must come to rest within the relief area

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Summer League – Round 10

Reporter: Steve Bird

Our Handicap Secretary Paul Foster is now back in Blighty and Friday found him in North Norfolk where I believe he frequented the Sandringham Estate and went catching crabs in Cromer. He avoided bumping into AM-W (the one who doesn’t sweat but regularly visits Pizza Express in Woking) but remarkably when catching a bus in the back of beyond unbelievably met our very own Stuart Baird – what are the odds on that?

Friday was a lovely day and after a false start a few weeks ago could it be that summer is finally here?

Thirty five competitors took part and the results were as follows :

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Four players scored 2’s, Russ Jones on the 5th and Koos Alders, George Clark and Martin Franks all on the 13th. Please see Mervyn to claim your sleeve of Dunlop 65’s.

So, the results of the Summer league are in. Please see the results table below for the final standings. Hearty congratulations to Martin Franks for his fantastic performance in week 10 which catapulted him into first position in division 1 and to Steve Bird and Alan Copeland the worthy joint winners of division 2. Our treasurer will remit the winnings to all those placed in the top 2 of both divisions and the winners will receive their trophies at the AGM.

Summer League – Final Results

Division 1

Division 2

Please access the full updated league tables from the link below:

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 22 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

A fine sunny morning greeted 15 players composed of one team of 4, three of 3 and one of 2. One team didn’t complete the full 15 holes for totally the opposite reason why a team didn’t make the full 15 only three weeks ago. Then it was torrential rain, today it was the heat – sums up our British weather!

With the course playing to proper summer conditions and plenty of roll on the ball there were some impressive scores. 

The winning team with an average score of 30.3 was Pete Broady (who is on a ‘streak’ following his win on Saturday), Steve Gosling and Peter Willson. 

Runners up were Steve Bird and Alan Copeland with a score of 29.5. Top scorers for the day were the two Alans, Copeland and Thomas both with 34 points. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 25 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 28 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: If a player’s ball is in the general area and there is interference by an abnormal course condition on the course, the player may take free relief by dropping a ball in a one club-length relief area measured from the nearest point of complete relief in the general area, and not nearer the hole. (See Rule 16.1b) A player has completed taking relief when the ball is dropped in the right way andcomes to rest in the relief area. (See Rule 14.3c(1))

Rules quiz

In stroke play, a player’s ball comes to rest on a gravel surfaced road. They decide to play the ball as it lies, but before doing so they remove some gravel that was interfering with the stroke. What is the ruling?
A – There is no penalty.
B – The player gets one penalty stroke.
C – The player gets two penalty strokes

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Day for a bottle of The Wine Society’s finest ‘Chateaux de Goodman’

Reporter: Paul Foster

Short report today, nineteen players took to the fairways, of which fourteen finished (well, handed their cards in and completed their scores on IG). Just three members equalled par, and none beat it

Just the one 2 scored today, Mike Pigott.

Top of the pile was Peter Broady in a CPO from Bob Ellison and Steve Barlow.

Winner – Peter Broady with 30 points on a CPO

Runner up – Bob Ellison with 30 points

The league tables are now updated (see link below), ready for the final round of the summer league next week.

All eyes are on:

Steve Barlow, Michael John & Martin Franks in the 1^st division. Stephen Bird, Alan Copeland & Art Laird in the 2^nd division

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 15 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

Just about a perfect morning for golf weather wise – dry, sunny but not too bright and a very gentle breeze. Fifteen players took part making up one team of 4, three of 3 and one of 2.

The winners were Steve Gosling, Ken Pearce and Steve Bird with a combined average of 28.3. 

Runners up were Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Richard Yates with a score of 26.

Joint top individual scorers were Steve Gosling and Phil Lomas with 31 points each. Steve had a 2 on the 13th.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 18 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 21 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: See Clarification of Loose Impediment/4. Gravel is a loose impediment and a player may remove loose impediments without penalty anywhere on the course under Rule 15.1

Seniors League – Round 9

Reporter: Stephen Bird

You will recall a few weeks ago that your results were finalised from underneath the Eiffel Tower. Well this week your intrepid Handicap Secretary, Paul Foster, has finalised last Friday’s results from a beach in Mallorca !! I caught up with him before his first cerveza of the day although I suspect San Miguel or Estrella Damm would not be high on the list of Paul’s favourite beers. 

Friday dawned quite bright but with a chill wind. I started in polo shirt and shorts but by the 3rd had donned my all weather top. Not great for June although the recent rains had the course looking in great condition. 

One or two admin matters. We had a card submitted for a club member who is not a member of Seniors!! 

He appears on the results table and I leave you to fathom out who is the mystery man. 

And on Saturday morning I had to take a stroll down to the Clubhouse to try and find a card for one of our band who had entered his score on IG but had placed his card in the box that’s sits behind our own, where it lay overnight. I shall not name the player but he finished high up the leader board. 

Three 2’s recorded – Eric Cox, Tommy Lawless and Richard Smyllie. 

Results:

Div 1:
Michael John 33 on CPO
Martin Frank’s 33
Steve Barlow 32

Div 2:
Mike Kendal  34
Les Williams 32 on CPO
Phil Ormesher 32

With one round to go there are quite a few potential winners in both divisions and Paul will update the league tables upon his return to the UK and well before the start of Round 10 in order that you can all see what your target score should be on the last day of competition.

Happy Mondays Report – 8 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

The heavy rain forecast for starting times did not come to fruition as the main belt of rain had already passed us by although we had a sharp shower mid-morning.

Twelve players took part in one team of 4, two of 3 and one of 2.

The leading three teams could not have finished closer with scores of 27.66, 27.5 and 27.25 respectively. 

The winners were Steve Bird, Alan Copeland and Eric Cox with runners up Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas. 

Top scorer for the day with 32 points was yours truly which included a 5 pointer on the 6th (gross 4 with two shots received) my first birdie on this hole since becoming a member two and a half years ago. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 11 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 14 June

Rules quiz

A player makes a practice swing and accidentally moves their ball in the semi-rough with the club. What is the ruling?

1. There is no penalty but the player must replace the ball.
2. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball.
3. There is no penalty, but the practice swing counts as a stroke and the ball must be played as it lies.

(Editor’s note: This happened to one of the Lymm seniors quite recently who will remain nameless. And now for today’s anagram: “older ass ok”.)

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Pete Broady

Only one of the following statements about Pete is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first level was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst a further 1,000 hens on the lower floor
2. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing in a pigsty on the lower floor
3. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The wooden floor on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst 20 bemused cows on the lower floor

Answer below

Summer League – Round 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another perfect late spring day greeted the seniors summer league round 8 competitors. Considerably cooler than of late with a gentle breeze that swept across the course, just enough for some of our more nesh members to reach for an extra layer, while others stubbornly persisted with the now traditional silly shorts with legs on view that haven’t seen daylight since last August. The course is now becoming a sight to behold now that the recent top dressing has disappeared. Trees are in full green splendour, the striped fairways looking superb (although I failed to hit any of them), greens running true, if still a touch slow for my liking, though perhaps that spared a few blushes on downhill putts. Adding to the day’s entertainment were two families of Canadian geese wandering unrestrained around the course keeping members alert and occasionally questioning who actually had right of way. One particularly relaxed Mrs Goose on the 1st fairway seemed entirely unimpressed by Phil Ormesher’s ball skimming her eyebrows.

A healthy field of forty members took to the course with a very credible thirteen players playing to par or better. Further evidence that retirement, moderate exercise and selective hearing are the perfect recipe for golfing success. Life is clearly treating the seniors very well on afternoons like this. Meanwhile, the Friday wine club were in excellent form out on the patio, bravely soldiering on despite the absence of the mercurial Art Laird. Spirits remained high, glasses remained full, and by mid-afternoon, several members were confidently explaining how they had “left at least five shots out there”. Special mention must also go to Steve Bird, recently armed with two working eyes after recent laser treatment, now proudly claiming he can finally see his golf ball again. (Editor’s note: “armed with two eyes”???). Unfortunately, the improved vision has merely confirmed that most of his drives really were heading towards the trees all along. Still, the good news is Steve will never again have to ask, “did anyone see where that finished?” We’ll see (no pun intended).
As most will note, Ian Goodman is collecting top three finishes like loyalty points – Pete Broady might have to hand over the ‘Mr Boringly Consistent’ title before the season is out!

Five 2s scored today, Paddy Moran, Martin Franks, Michael John, Paul Collins & Joe Priestner. Please collect your sleeve of balls from Mervyn.

• One card missing, but Ig completed.
• Please don’t forget to pre-register on ig for all seniors’ rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

With just two rounds of the summer league still to play, the first division leader is still Steve ‘the actor’ Barlow, but his mammoth lead has been cut to just four points by Michael John.
In the second division Steve ‘two eyes’ Bird still holds a one point lead over Art Laird and Alan Copeland. GAME ON!

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 1 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

The weather forecast said ‘Heavy Rain’ between 8 and 10 am followed by light showers. However, the total opposite was the case with no rain at all until 11 am and then a deluge. 

Thirteen hardy souls started their rounds with one team of 4 and three of 3. Unfortunately, like Scott’s last expedition to Antarctica they didn’t all make it back. For Scott, Wilson and Oates read Barlow, Rowley and Lambert who decided to call it quits after 12 holes (and who can blame them as they were the last group out and had the worst of the weather) but, to their credit, they put their pounds in the pot like true gentlemen. I can confirm that when my soggy group arrived in the clubhouse the aforementioned were having a hot drink albeit their huskies were outside.

The winning team with a creditable average of 28 points were Messrs Broady, Copeland and Hill with runners up Bird, Chisnall, Cox and Craggs on 26.5.

Gallant Bronze medallists were Bocquet, Bramall and Dixon on 24.3.

Messrs Broady and Copeland each top scored with 29 points. 

Point of Admin – the main holiday season is approaching and I am getting many very helpful messages informing me when participants are away in order that I can exclude them from the rosters. This is genuinely appreciated and I apologise in advance if I include you when you have told me you are away. It’s called getting old!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 4 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 7 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 2). Explanation: See Rule 9.4b and Definition of Stroke. If a player causes their ball to move they get one penalty stroke and the ball must be replaced. As there was no intention to strike the ball, the practice swing does not count as a stroke.

Answer to today’s anagram: Koos Alders

Find the Fact answer

Statement 2) is true. Pete worked, before and after school, at Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane. The floor around the water standpipe on the upper level of the farm building containing the hens had become rotten over the years. Pete fell through the floor and in an amazing piece of good fortune fell into a warm lake of pig waste which had been accumulating since the early years of the twentieth century. Some people have all the luck!

Rules quiz

A player may repair natural wear of the hole on the putting green before putting

1. True
2. False

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Andy Timms

Only one of the following statements about our immediate past Captain is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Andy is a keen cook and has over 74 recipe books in 3 different languages. Andy has calculated (for reasons best known to himself) that if he cooked one recipe per day it would take over 34 years to work his way through his collection
2. Andy is a FA qualified coach. During his time as Coach and Chairman of Urmston Meadowside the club won the FA Charter Standard Club of the Year twice
3. During his time as Captain of Lymm last year Andy played golf 163 times on 53 courses, in three countries with over 200 people

Answer below

Summer League – Round 7

Reporter: Paul Foster

Under a sky so blue it looked photoshopped, the Seniors assembled for another glorious late-spring round — part golf competition, part textile experiment.

The fairways were immaculate, the greens deceptively unreadable, and the dress code apparently interpreted as “wear the shortest shorts medically advisable”. Several players arrived looking less like golfers and more like retired cruise entertainers or auditioners for ‘It ain’t half hot mum’. Scoring proved far less cheerful than the weather. Despite ideal conditions and a breeze gentler than a clubhouse handshake, only three brave souls managed to better par. The rest spent the afternoon demonstrating increasingly creative methods of leaving putts short, long, left or right. The rough was busy, the bunkers overworked, and one unfortunate duck on the 12th may file a complaint to the club committee after being buzzed twice by low-flying Titleist balls. Edgar Crowe was repeatedly spotted unzipping golf bags in search of “bootie” on the second hole. Whether he was searching for a tasty snack, an ‘on view’ banana, some contraband confectionery, or something far more suspicious remains unclear. We witnessed Edgar conducting “full investigations” on three of our four trolleys (the smell of engine oil on Ron’s groovy machine seemed to put Edgar off searching his bag). At the halfway hut, cold drinks disappeared faster than stableford points, while several competitors claimed their games were “just about coming together” moments before recording triple bogeys on holes 10 and 11. Highlight of the day belonged to Mike Kendall on the 14th, whose majestic drive travelled approximately 240 yards — sideways. Applause was generous nonetheless, mainly because it avoided all trees, the four ball in front, the four ball in front of them, the four ball on the 16th and a fairway bunker to end its epic journey smack in the middle of the 15th.fairway. In total 12 players ducked after hearing a thunderous “Fore” from our direction.

As the sun dipped and scorecards were examined with the seriousness of international treaty documents, the consensus was unanimous: glorious weather, dreadful golf, exceptional entertainment. And somewhere in the clubhouse car park, Edgar was still checking bags for bootie.

• Two 2s scored today, Steve Barlow and Charlie Hill
• Two cards missing, but IG completed.
• One card handed in but not completed in IG
• Please don’t forget to pre-register in IG for all senior rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

As the summer league enters the final stretch, the first division leader is Steve Barlow, who has a commanding lead of 9 points from Michael John, and in the second division, Steve Bird leads Art Laird by 1 point

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report

No report this week as Monday was a gloriously sunny bank holiday.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 28 May

PLEASE NOTE: There will be a Bottle of Wine competition on the 12th of June as there is a match against Northenden on that day. As the team has yet to be finalised at the time of writing you may end up in the team but also appear on the schedule below. If you are selected in the team to play Northenden, and you appear in the schedule below, can you please cancel yourself off the tee booking once it is on IG. If you are in the team and flagged as a tee booker, could you please ensure another member of your group makes the booking on Thursday evening. The tee time of 9.18 a.m. has deliberately been left blank to speed up play in the Interclub match, please do not book yourselves into that tee time. You may see seniors who are in the team against Northenden take that booking just to protect the tee time.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 31 May

Non golf related trivia

Three ‘interesting’ pieces of trivia:

1. Leonardo DA Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint the Mona Lisa’s lips
2. Blue is the favourite colour of 80 percent of Americans
3. The average four-year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 2) False. Explanation: See Rule 13.1c. A player may repair damage on the putting green without penalty, however “damage on the putting green” does not include any damage or conditions that result from natural wear of the hole.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 1. is correct. Answer 2 is correct other than that Andy was Secretary of Urmston Meadowside rather than Chairman. Answer 3 is also almost correct, Andy played in four different countries during his year as Captain of Lymm Golf Club.

Rules quiz

In a stroke-play competition, players A, B and C were drawn by the Committee to play together starting at 9.00am. A and B were ready to play at the appointed time. Due to bad traffic, player C arrived at 9.02am after A and B had teed off but just in time to play in the correct order. What is the ruling?

1. There is no penalty.
2. Player C is disqualified.
3. Player C gets two penalty strokes

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Summer League – Round 6

Reporter: Steve Bird

Question. Is this the first time that your Friday results have been finalised from under the Eiffel Tower?

Probably, I would guess. The reason being that Monsieur Foster continues his ‘vacances’ in northern France and today (Friday) he reached gay Paris. There is no truth that he parked his mobile home under the Arch de Triomphe in the middle of the Place de L”Etoile. So full marks to Paul for giving up his holiday time to help collate the results.

Whilst the weather was very bright and sunny there was a biting wind and scores were consequently a lot lower than last week with only one player, out of 41, playing to net par.

There were 2 twos scored by Duncan Clarke and Barry McGuigan (please see Mervyn our treasurer for your sleeve of balls).  Division One – all three players scored 29 points and places were decided by CPO

Results

Division 1

Division 2

The leader boards will be brought fully up to date on Mr Foster’s return to Blighty.

Happy Mondays Report – 18 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

Once again the weather conspired with.our Inter Club Match to leave a very depleted field.

Only 3 teams of three

Winners – Steve Barlow, Alan Copeland and Colin Crail with an average of 25.6 points

Second – Steve Bird, Tony Dixon and Dave Waggitt 22.3

Third – Colin Chisnall, Alan Thomas and Eric Cox 20.6

Top scorers for the day Messrs Copeland and Crail with 26 each. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 21 May

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 24 May

Non golf related trivia

1. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
2. Mosquito repellents don’t repel, they hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.
3. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

Rules Quiz answer

Option 3 is the correct answer. Explanation: See Rule 5.3a. As C arrived and was ready to play no more than five minutes late, instead of being disqualified, player C gets two penalty strokes for failure to be ready to play at the appointed start time

Rules Quiz

Tatton League – 2nd Round – Thursday 7 May

Reporter: Mike Pigott

The second round of the Tatton League was played at High Legh Golf Club on a cool breezy morning. The course was in reasonable condition with the greens having undergone their Spring treatment, still a bit slow with the presence of sand. The course played very long off the white tees, on the 18th there were 78 paces from the back tee to the yellow tee making the course very demanding. This showed in some of the scoring.

Lymm were winners on the day with 42 points from Martin Franks and Steve Gosling, 40 points from Ian Whitehead and Russ Jones, 38 points from Mike Pigott and Richard Cooper and 36 points from Andy Timms and Mark Pickles (this was later reduced to 35 points due to a clerical error on the scoring – lesson learnt!). Lymm total of 155 for the day was six better than second placed Heyrose and twenty shots better than the overall leaders Antrobus. This now gives Lymm a 15 point lead overall after two games.

A special mention to Martin Franks and Steve Gosling as they won the best score of the day and to Mark Pickles for nearest the pin on the 9th hole.

Summer League – Round 5 Friday 8 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

Firstly, your usual scribe is currently ‘on the continent’ and when he massaged (Editor’s note: I really hope that’s a typo!) me on Sunday, he was on Sword Beach, Normandy no doubt with his binoculars looking for any remaining Boche and then seeking out local beers – or is it cidre in that locality? Needless to say, I shall not be waxing lyrically in the style of PF – no point trying to compete with greatness.

The WhatsApp Group of your Committee was very hot last Thursday when Keith reminded members they had to vacate the course by 12:45 on the following day. It became apparent that the later starting groups would probably not complete 15 holes and various solutions were discussed – in the end the decision was taken to round up pro rata the scores for any players not completing the full 15.

Some of the published scores you see on the Clubs web page will not correlate in respect of the few individuals whose scores were rounded up i.e. they will be less than the rounded up scores.

There were five ‘twos’ scored, namely Mike Bennett, Duncan Clarke, Martin Franks, Michael John and Russ Jones.

Scores in Division 1 were impressive with two players scoring 33 not making the podium. Only one player broke net par in Division 2.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

The leader boards will be updated on Mr Foster’s return from his jollies.

IMPORTANT REMINDER – Registering your round and entering your scores onto IG

Please remember that you now need to register your round on IG and enter your scores onto IG on completion of your round for all Senior competitions. One senior from division 2 had to be disqualified having finished in third in last Friday’s Summer League round as his card was not entered onto IG after the round. Please see the following extract from an email sent to all members from the Handicap and Competition Sub-Committee on 6 May:

Immediately after playing in a competition, all competitors must enter their cards via the IG app and upload a photograph of their scorecard before depositing their original card in the box outside the Professional’s Shop. Please ensure when uploading a photograph this clearly shows that the card has been signed. If this carries on (cards not being entered), we will have to bring in a one Competition ban, for all those that do not follow the above rule.  If you are having an issue with completing the task, then please speak to the Professional’s shop and they will be happy to help you.

Happy Mondays Report – 11 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

A combination of the rain and our match against Bramhall meant that only 12 hardy souls turned out in four teams of three.

Ironically, by 9 am, we were playing in glorious sunshine on lush green fairways.

The winning team was that of Tony Dixon, Ken Pearce and Richard Yates with an average score of 25

Runners up were Steve Barlow, Steve Rowley and Dave Waggitt with a score of 23.3

Top scorer for the day was Ken Pearce with 28

Can I add a personal thank you to Tony Dixon who found my specs somewhere on the eighth hole. They has been perched on top of my cap and I hadn’t noticed they were missing until the 10th!! 

Interclub match v Bramhall – Monday 11 May

Author: John Armstrong (Captain of the Day)

Lymm beat Bramhall – 5.5 to 2.5

There were wins for:

• J Armstrong & Ian Whitehead.
• B McGuigan & P Ormesher
• A Timms & S Baird
• D Craggs & J Woodward
• G Brickell & B Ellison

Match halved:

• A Laird & M Lyons

2nd Place for

• S Lee & B Simpson
• P Perry & P Willson.

The food was excellent a bacon butty on arrival with tea or coffee, steak and mushroom pie, after the match

Local Rules

I am sure most of you will have read Keith Melia’s Friday update of 8th May. For those that missed it there was a helpful link to the Temporary Local Rules list. Please click on this link if you need to bring yourself up to speed.

Lymm Visitor

Author: Barry Smith

This morning (May the 8th) on the 4th hole, I got a birdie, well a picture of a birdie, an exotic birdie at that!

The Egyptian Goose!

Scientific name: Alopochen aegyptiaca

Apparently Egyptian geese aren’t true geese, they’re members of the shelduck sub-family, Tadorninae. They are naturally found in Africa, in the Nile valley and south of the Sahara. They were introduced to Great Britain to be kept in wildfowl collections, and are usually found in south-central England, East Anglia, and the East Midlands, so this one might be lost. Egyptian Geese are said to be noisy and quarrelsome, with aggressive behaviour which has ruled them out of some collections, therefore they might well be a good fit for Lymm Seniors!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 14 May

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 17 May

Non golf related trivia

Three interesting pieces of trivia to share with your loved ones over tonight’s evening meal:

1. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head
2. 40 percent of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals
3. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 1. Explanation: A spider web is a loose impediment even though they are attached to another object and may be removed. (See Definition of Loose Impediments and Rule 15)

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Dave Craggs

Only one of the following statements about Dave is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your Secretary?

1. Dave was one of the founding members of Helsby Golf Club
2. Dave flew a glider sitting in the same seat (but not at the same time) that Anneka Rice had occupied whilst filing Challenge Anneka in 1993
3. Dave ran in the Warrington 10K (6.2 miles) at the age of 71. He completed the course in under 52 minutes and raised over £200 for the River Reeves Foundation which was set up following the tragic accident in Sweden involving members of Viola Beach

Answer below

Fun round – Bottle of Wine Friday 1 May

Reporter: Ian Goodman

No report this week I’m afraid (as no one seems to have collected the cards in Mr Foster’s absence!) but the result taken from IG was as follows:

Happy Mondays

Reporter: Steve Bird

Nothing to report this week as Monday 4 May was a bank holiday.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 7 May

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 3 May

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: See Rule 18.1. Once the player put another ball in play under penalty of stroke and distance, the original ball is no longer in play and must not be played.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 (Anneka Rice) is correct. Dave can’t remember if he was a founding member of Helsby Golf Club which came into being in 1901. Dave did complete the Warrington 10k run but he was 73 years of age, not 71, when he did this. Other than his age all the other facts in answer 3 are correct.

Rules Quiz

Summer League – Round 4

Reporter: Paul Foster

The seniors turned out in great numbers, some 46 happy smiling members for the latest round of the summer league competition, played under a beautiful warm spring sky that made for near-perfect golfing conditions. The course looked in excellent shape, with firm fairways and receptive greens rewarding well-struck approach shots (none by me though).

Scoring proved competitive across the field, with several players taking advantage of the calm weather to post solid points totals. However, the greens remained a consistent challenge throughout the day. Despite the favourable conditions, putting was far from straightforward, with many competitors finding it difficult to judge pace and line. A number of good rounds were held back by missed opportunities on the greens, as the slightly unpredictable speed tested even the most experienced players. Just 5 players managed to better their handicap.

Overall, it was an enjoyable and well-contested competition, highlighted by good camaraderie and the pleasure of playing in such fine weather. With a bit more sharpness on the greens, scores could have been even better – but that’s golf.

It was a day that will go down in history – or at least take a very long time getting there.

Under bright sunshine and ever increasing temperatures, that felt suspiciously close to “why are we doing this,” our group teed off at the leisurely hour of 9:45am. By 10:30am, we had successfully completed the 2^nd hole… after a brief discussion about whose turn it was, where the tee markers used to be in 1987, and whether anyone had seen Ron’s left sock.

The pace of play was described by officials as “unhurried,” by one player as “glacial,” and by Edgar & Alan Crow as “deeply concerning.”

Highlights from the round include: A tactical pause while three players compared knee braces and one adjusted his sun hat for optimal “ventilation efficiency.” On Hole 12 there was an official fairway pit-stop. Estimated duration: 1 hour 25 minutes. Main activity: discussing how much slower everyone else is, oh, and looking for 2 balls at least 100 yards further down the fairway from where they completed their grass cutting voyage.

By the back nine, conditions had intensified. The sun was relentless, shadows grew longer, and putting lines were judged less by slope and more by “which direction feels emotionally right.”

The round concluded just in time for dinner… the next day.

In summary:
A heroic effort, a test of patience, and a masterclass in how to turn 15 holes into a full-day event. Buggies in increasing numbers, swings remained questionable, and absolutely nobody was in a rush – least of all the winners, who are still signing their scorecards.

Next week’s forecast: slightly cooler… but don’t expect things to speed up.

One 2 scored today, Mike Pigott.

Don’t forget to pre-register on IG for all seniors rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 27 April

Reporter: Steve Bird

Another fine morning greeted 17 players comprising two teams of four and three of three. The course at times was busy with greens staff and irrigation contractors all very active. To paraphrase ‘Apocalypse Now’ – “I love the smell of seaweed fertiliser in the morning” (Robert Duvall). I expect if we want a decent course then we just have to endure these distractions.

The winning team was Steve Bird, Dave Craggs and Dave Waggitt. with an average score of 26.3. It was a real team effort with no one scoring less than 25.

Runners up were Messrs Barlow, Dixon, Goodman and Gosling with an average of 25.75.

Steve Barlow again top scored for the day with an impressive 33 followed closely by Colin Chisnall with 32.

It was good To see us all on the terrace following our games enjoying a drink in the sunshine. Dare we assume spring has sprung?

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 30 April

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 3 May

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. The player would be disqualified. Explanation: See Rule 4.3a. A player may get information on distance or direction from a distance measuring device, however the device must not be used to measure elevation changes. As the player used the device on two separate occasions they would be disqualified.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Mike Kendall

Only one of the following statements about Mike is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know our Friday tee-times organiser?

1. Mike first saw his future wife immediately after regaining consciousness in an ambulance after being knocked clean out during a football match
2. Mike was a contestant on “Who wants to be a millionaire”. Mike didn’t win the million, but did manage to walk away with £16,000 having answered nine questions correctly
3. Mike once had to stop Roy Keane from throttling another guest at a social function which Mike had organised and which Roy attended

Answer below

Summer League – Round 3

Reporter: Paul Foster

The long awaited transition to WHS handicaps finally hit the fairways this week, as 44 brave (or mildly concerned) golfers teed up without the comforting cushion of the ‘mat’. This is a bold new era of fairness and accuracy. For the vast majority of us, it felt more like showing up to a knife fight armed with a teaspoon. Conditions didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet. Lively squalls occasionally sweeping across the course, turning well-struck drives into abstract art, and for the later starters, leaving umbrellas performing interpretive dance routines. Putting, usually a gentle art, became a psychological thriller (as usual for me). Greens that looked innocent enough from a distance revealed hidden agendas up close. Three-putts were the day’s most popular scoring method, with several players boldy exploring four-putt territory. Despite all this, spirits remained high. After all, golf isn’t about the score – it’s about the shared suffering, the exaggerated storytelling afterward, and the firm belief that next week, in calmer conditions, everything will be completely different.

In summary: 44 golfers, mostly with new handicaps, zero mats and enough wind to qualify for its own membership. Remarkably, out of all the competitors, only one managed to beat par, his name whispered in hushed tones in the bar, as if he had discovered a loophole both in the WHS system and the weather itself, in the corner was Ron Thornton beavering away trying to find a mistake in the winners score card.

The other 43 are currently reviewing their life choices, green-reading techniques, and possibly their membership.

A character-building day, if nothing else

Please don’t forget to pre-register on IG for all seniors rounds.

Two 2s scored today, Duncan Clarke and Tony Dixon.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 20 April

Reporter: Steve Bird

A glorious Spring morning greeted 22 players in four groups of four and two of three. The scores were not great, and the general consensus was that the fairways were not conducive to ball roll-on and the greens were ‘weird’. No one could explain why as they looked fine but for some unknown reason three putts were common and many short putts were missed – even after allowing for the new gimme rule.

The winning team was Steve Barlow, Peter Willson and Richard Yates with an average score of 27.6. Steve top scorer for the day with 31 points

Runners up were Alan Copeland, Eric Cox, Charlie Hill and Phil Lomas (welcome back Phil) with an average of 24.75.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 23 April

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 26 April

Rules Quiz answer

The correct answer is A. Explanation: Two shots onto the green. One putt that rolls off the green. One penalty stroke for taking unplayable relief under option 19.2a (stroke and distance relief). One putt that is holed. Total = 5 strokes

Find the Fact answer

Answer 3 is correct. Mike did need to “step in” to prevent the truculent Irish mid-fielder from lamping another guest at Mike’s daughter’s birthday party. Mike’s daughter attended the same school as Roy Keane’s daughter. It is not known if Roy Keane ever attended school.

Rules Quiz

Summer League – Round 2

Reporter: Paul Foster

The sun showed up like it had a seniors’ tee time booked, the breeze politely clocked in at ‘gentle encouragement’ and the striped fairways, well, let’s just say they looked forgiving. Welcome to today’s mid spring day round 2 golf report.

Conditions were, in technical terms, ‘absolutely glorious’. Birds chirped, blossoms starting to bloom, Edgar & Allan Crow looking for courtships, and somewhere in the distance a golfer loudly negotiated with a bunker.

However, putting remained….ambitious. Several balls approached the hole with confidence, had a good look, and decided they’d rather not commit. One putt broke so much it’s now being studied by scientists!

Our 4 ball invented a new language or a new dialect or we have all developed a speech impediment, I’m not sure. All 4 of us managed to hit the same clump of trees left of the 12^th with our 2nd shots, one by one emitting garbled cries of arghhhh…. orrrnoooorr…. whaaaaaaa… eeeehhhhhnothere!

Forty two happy golfers stepped out onto the course, with scoring simply sublime, twenty two managed to equal or better their handicap. So, playing to 4 better than your handicap in the 2^nd division, gave you no chance of stepping onto the podium.

As bags were packed and tales were exaggerated, one truth remained clear: on a magnificent mid-spring day like this, even the bad shots somehow felt like they didn’t matter.

Five 2s scored today, Dave Waggitt, Mark Pickles, Rob Taylor, Bob Ellison & Phil Lomas.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Leader Boards

Seniors Calendar Monday 4 May – Correction

Happy Mondays Report – 13 April

Reporter: Steve Bird

A lovely spring morning greeted 17 players which was an excellent turnout considering there was an Inter Club Match where 16 of our number were involved. Five teams took part, three of 4, one of 3 and one of 2. The course is drying out and some good scores were evident. 

The winning duo were Richard Yates and Colin Crail who scored 36 and 28 respectively with an average of 32 points Needless to say, Richard top scored for the day. 

Gallant runners up were Steve Barlow, Kevin Bocquet, Tony Dixon and John White with an average score of 28.5.

Please note that Monday 4 May is a Bank Holiday so there is no booking to be done this coming Sunday. Members can obviously book social rounds if they wish

Clarification of ‘Gimme’ rule – only applicable for Happy Mondays games

Author: Steve Bird

There have been numerous versions of what constitutes a ‘gimme’ for our Monday matches. Your committee debated this at length last Friday, for example how long IS a putter handle? 

In the end it was decided that a ‘gimme’ would be allowed if the ball was 12 inches (30 cm) or less from the hole. This decision was taken to clarify the many versions that are being used and, in an effort, to speed up play. So now is the time to get out those old wooden rulers from you school days and put them in your golf bags (joke) 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 16 April

Please note that as we are playing a seniors’ match against Helsby GC on the 1st of May the preferred playing times requested by seniors may not be available

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: See Rule 12.2b(2). There is no penalty for a player casually leaning on their club in a bunker providing it is not for the purpose of testing the condition of the sand

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Paul Foster

Only one of the following statements about our Handicap Secretary Paul “the axeman” Foster is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Paul once played 9 holes of golf with Bobby Charlton
2. Paul has just passed 5,000 beers tasted
3. Paul once won a 9-hole golf competition played on the longest day of the year in Iceland

Answer below

Summer League

Nothing to report this week as last Friday was Easter Friday. It’s back to normal this coming Friday. Round 2 will be played over the first 15 holes. Feel free to carry on just for fun as the course is now fully open. Please check the link below to establish what your latest Senior’s handicap is.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report

Again, nothing to report this week as we were all finishing off our Easter eggs on Monday of this week. Back to normal next Monday.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 9 April

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 12 April

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer it 1. True

Explanation: See Definition of Loose Impediment and Rule 15.1.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 1 is correct, Paul did play nine holes of golf with Bobby Charlton. Paul also recently exceeded 6,000 beers tasted (he passed the 5,000 mark some time ago). He also won a 9-hole golf competition played at midnight, but it was at Dounreay in Scotland not in Iceland.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Trevor Williamson

Two of the following statements about Trevor are correct. The other one is false. How well do you know your fellow senior, can you find the false statement?

Playing for Doncaster Rugby Union Football Club, Trevor Williamson, gained a reputation for his “bone-crunching, but scrupulously fair” tackling (a ‘Telegraph’ quote). Apart from winning the Yorkshire shield in 1979, the year was memorable for him for receiving punches from a Triple Crown of opponents, each of them fed-up with being on the receiving end of his tackles – something he remembers with great pride! All three were internationals:

(a) England Centre, Richard Cardus, playing for Roundhay in the Yorkshire Cup (Roundhay became Leeds Tykes)

(b) Scotland Centre, Graham Birkett, playing for Harlequins in a 7-a-side tournament at Doncaster.

(c) Wales legend & British Lion, Terry Cobner, playing out of position at Centre for Pontypool

Answer below

Summer League – Round 1

Reporter: Paul Foster

A short report today.

Thirty two members out on the course to play the first round of the eagerly awaited summer league.

Five players from the 1st division scored 30pts, so lots of head scratching to separate them

Four 2s scored today, Trevor Williamson, Steve Gosling, Richard Yates & Alan Copeland.

Only two hcaps docked today…Grrrrrr……BUT….. all hcaps correctly entered..Hooray….!!

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 30 March

Reporter: Steve Bird

After an overnight deluge the wind was ‘blowing a hoolie’ as the Scots would say, and there were waves on the Ship Canal. One of our number even spotted a surfer. The wind was a strong westerly so the third and fifth holes were particularly challenging.

After the full 18 holes had been open for the weekend the course was back down to 13 holes – I suspect in about five months time we shall be complaining about the fairways being hard and straw coloured!

A good turnout of 22 players comprising two teams of 4. four of 3 and one of 2.

The winners were Steve Bird, Pete Broady, Barrie Simpson and Peter Willson with a average score of 24.25 closely followed by Kevin Bocquet, Alan Copeland and Phil Perry on 24.. Phil top scored for the day on 29 points. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 2 April

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 5 April

Art Fair and Exhibition in Altrincham

Reporter: Mark Pickles

Thank you to all who have made encouraging and positive comments about the oil painting now hanging in the Legends Lounge. I unveiled it last Thursday at the AGM, where it was well received.

If you’d like a canvas or paper print, of any size up to the original size, let me know, and I will get a price for an archival-quality fine-art print (using the giclée printing technology) guaranteed not to fade or discolour. (I asked my printer how the manufacturer’s can claim that giclée prints, being a relatively new technology, have light-fastness for up to a hundred years. Apparently prints have been tested by blasting them with UV light that is equivalent to 100 years in a bright room.)

If you’re interested in seeing my other artworks, see my new website here at www.markpickles.art. I am presently taking commissions.

I have recently joined the Altrincham Society of Artists, which gives me access to a shared studio. I gave up my own large studio last year because I was spending too much time playing golf to justify the rent! Also, being in the local artist’s group gives me the opportunity to exhibit a few works several times a year, with shared costs for marketing and exhibiting. Our main annual exhibition is in July, at Altrincham Grammar School for Girls, where I plan to display four large paintings.

This Easter weekend, we are having an ‘Art Fair’ in Altrincham. Do come along, if you’d like to see me dabbling with a hog hair brush. It’s more fun than watching me shank a 7 iron! I will have some originals and prints on display.

Rules Quiz answer

2 is correct – False. Explanation: See Clarification Immovable Obstruction/1. Any turf leading to or covering an immovable obstruction is not part of the obstruction.

Find the Fact answer

(b) is false.

Trevor did not receive a punch from Graham Birkett, he played alongside him in a Harlequins team that were short of a player when they visited Doncaster. 

(a) he did receive a punch from Richard Cardus when he tackled him into touch, denying him a try-scoring opportunity.

(c) he did receive a punch from Terry Cobner (and Bobby Windsor) whilst playing against them for Monmouth. They were returning from injury, playing for Pontypool ‘Seconds’ in a Welsh Cup competition.

And here’s the evidence. ‘Hitman’ Williamson second from right on the top row.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Steve Barlow

A bit calmer this week, no explosions. Only one of the following statements about Steve is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Steve was trapped in the lift of a building in Manchester with both members of the boyband Jedward until they were all rescued after 75 minutes
2. Steve once had breakfast with Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck and Kenny Lynch
3. Steve has driven a McLaren F1 sports car at a speed in excess of 200 mph on an airfield in Dubai

Answer below

Seniors Fun Game – Friday 20 March

Reporter: Paul Foster

A perfect early Spring day greeted 38 senior golfers. Crisp clean air that still carries a hint of winter, but without the bite, the sun giving just enough warmth on your face to make you leave the jacket in the bag. The course is waking up after the slumber of a wretched winter. A faint smell of damp earth and freshly cut grass, the kind that makes every deep breath invigorating. The recently dressed greens are basically the course’s way of saying, “Let’s see what you’re really made of.” They looked perfect – smooth and inviting like a snooker table. In reality? It’s more like putting across a marble floor that’s been lightly sprinkled with breadcrumbs. A 6-foot putt casually rolls 12 feet past like it’s late for a meeting. The putt starts on a perfect line, then hits a grain of sand and takes a sharp detour like it’s avoiding traffic. Mike, John, Richard and I reckon we missed more putts from inside 2 feet than England have missed penalties. By the turn, for any putt under 3 feet, we just closed our eyes, switched to left-handed putting and pretended it was for triple bogey (no pressure). We also proposed that we should replace our putters with brooms. I blamed my four putts from inside 5 feet on the 14th on the miss-alignment of Jupiter and as I walked off the green, I briefly contemplated taking up tennis!

Thirty eight players took to the fairways, of which just six members beat par. Just the one 2 scored today, Alan Ranscombe on the tough 13th.

Upon inspection, Bill Berry submitted a card not only legible, but also correctly totalled, internally consistent, and free from ‘creative adjustments’. Authorities are monitoring the situation.

Winner: John Armstrong with 34 points. Takes home a quality bottle of Wine Society Rioja
Runner up: Peter Willson with 33 points

Summer League – Round 1

Next Friday 27 March sees week 1 of the Summer League. We will continue to use the winter handicaps, until such time as the course is deemed ready for WHS by the club, when we will all revert to our WHS handicaps. The league is played over 15 holes (or fewer if 15 aren’t open, with scores pro-rated up to 15 holes). Players can play holes 16 to 18 just for ‘fun’ if they are in play. Please see the Strategy, Rules and Guidance document if you require further detail. Your latest Seniors handicap can be accessed from the link below. Let battle commence!

Seniors’ handicaps

Happy Mondays Report – 23 March

Reporter: Steve Gosling

Monday saw 17 golfers eager to explore the forgotten land as they headed out for the first Monday 15 hole comp of the year.

The weather was a bit cooler than last week, but pleasant enough for some very respectable scoring. 8 of 17 scored to their handicap or better.

Nobody came close though to Stephen Rowley who with the help of a 5 pointer on the 11th amassed a very decent 37 points for the day, which helped carry his teammates Steve Gosling and Dave Waggitt to victory with an average of 29.3.

Second place was shared by 2 groups, both scoring an average of 28. The groups being Andy Timms, Kevin Bocquet and Alan Copeland  and the group of John White, Sammy Lee and Phil Perry

Hopefully we have 15 holes open now going forward.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 26 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 29 March

NB. If you have your name down for the interclub match against Leigh then you will have been omitted from the booking sheet below. If for any reason you don’t make the team you can just book yourself onto one of the tee-times below.

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. See Clarification Advice/2. Information obtained by observation is not advice.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Steve had breakfast with Jimmy, Kenny and Brucie (good game, good game!).

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Rob Taylor

How well do you know your fellow senior? Which of the following facts about Rob are true and which are false?

1. In June 1976 Rob was travelling in an armoured vehicle which drove over a landmine. Other than being temporarily deafened Rob suffered no major injuries. Five days later exactly the same thing happened again. This time Rob was evacuated on a medical helicopter
2. In February 1996 Bob was evacuated from Canary Wharf forty-one minutes before an IRA bomb detonated killing 2 and injuring over 100 people
3. In June of the same year, Bob was evacuated from the Arndale Centre. 75 minutes later an IRA bomb (the largest on British soil since WW2) exploded

Answer below

Winter League – Final Round

Reporter: Paul Foster

The final round of the Winter League produced a myriad of scores and tales to be told in the bar.

The winter greens I’m convinced were designed by someone who’s never actually seen a golf ball roll. One putt bobbles left, the next one hops like it’s avoiding landmines, and the third one stops halfway like it’s suddenly remembered it left the oven on at home. I hit what I thought was a perfect putt from four feet; it took two bounces, changed postcode, and finished closer to the Manchester Ship Canal than the hole. At this point I’m not even looking at breaks anymore, I’m just aiming for the general county and hoping for the best. As Ian Goodman pointed out, my 15-foot putt on the 8^th finished approximately 1” from the hole but spent most of its journey in mid-air!

Nineteen players from the 1^st division, and twenty-two players in the 2^nd division.

No 2s scored today, and not even a sniff of a par at hole 5. Official statistics reveal; birdies – nil, pars – nil, near emotional breakdowns – several, green hit in regulation – classified, confidence levels – under investigation. In conclusion, the 5^th will be remembered not for birdies or pars, but for its incredible ability to humble every golfer who dared to challenge it. Future players on this winter hole are advised to approach it with caution, realistic expectations, and possibly a dream that someday a par will be achieved. Officially a par 3, but emotionally a par 12.

The returning antipodean Mr Craggs equalled the league high of 30 points (rounded up to 12 holes) and receives the largest cut in handicap this year. Love it!

To protect his identity the following senior’s name has been changed. Let’s call him Bill Berry. After careful examination of Bill’s submitted scorecard, the committee would like to congratulate him on producing one of the most creatively completed cards of the Winter League. Unfortunately, while the artistic use of scribbles, mystery numbers, an incorrect handicap, a name in the wrong section, scores completed for holes 10 to 17, (we only played one of those holes) and what appears to be a hieroglyph marked on the 16^th, it made the actual score slightly difficult to determine. The marker’s signature resembled a weather chart. In the interest of maintaining golfing standards, and basic handwriting, the committee politely reminds players that scorecards should ideally include, correct name in the correct place, a correct handicap, a score for each actual hole played, a marker’s signature, a player’s signature and numbers that belong on a golf course rather than in a cryptography puzzle. We look forward to the next submission and remain hopeful that, one day, we may even be able to read it!

        Results

Division 1

Division 2

Final standings for the winter league

Division 1

Division 2

That concludes the Winter League, now onto the Summer League.

Winter golf has worn me down. Muddy fairways, frozen fingers, silly hats, flags stuck in the middle of uncut grass, and a ball that feels like a rock. You turn up on a dark miserable Friday morning full of hope, and leave wondering why we bothered. But summer golf… that’s the dream, fresh cut fairways, warm afternoons, and a round that ends with a cold beer on the patio. The kind of golf where the ball actually flies (off grass and not those pesky mats), the greens roll true, and you don’t need four layers just to swing a club. Bring on the sunshine and proper golf!

We will continue to use the winter handicaps, until such time as the course is deemed ready for WHS by the club, when we will all revert to our WHS handicaps.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report

Nothing to report this week as the course was scheduled to be closed for maintenance. Normal service will be resumed next week.

Tee booking schedules for Friday 3 April and Monday 6 April

As the dates above are Easter Friday and Easter Monday there are no Seniors’ booking schedules. Please make your own bookings on IG for social golf.

Rules Quiz answer

False. See Definition of Penalty Area. If the colour of a penalty area has not been marked or indicated by the Committee, it is treated as a red penalty area.

Find the Fact answer

All three facts are true! If Rob were a cat, he would now only have two thirds of his lives left.

Rules Quiz

Golf fact

Mary Queen of Scots may have invented the idea of the caddie. She played golf in the 1500’s and had a military cadet carry her clubs, possibly the origin of the word “caddie.”

Winter League – Round 9

Reporter: Paul Foster

Early starters in the penultimate round were greeted with classic ‘British Spring’ conditions – steady rain, soggy fairways, only 8 holes open, and all on winter greens. It makes you question your life choices. A number of canny souls quickly decided being at home was the better option and pulled out. As the morning went on, the weather mysteriously improved for the later golfers, who enjoyed much drier conditions. The result? Record low numbers for the winter league with the field considerably smaller than usual. Those who did battle the elements deserve credit – if not for their scoring, then certainly for their commitment to keeping round 9 alive. Or at least for keeping the bar busy afterwards!

The entertainment continued in the car park, where I witnessed a small gathering of ‘experienced’ golfers in deep conversation – or at least attempting to be. With hearing aids at varying levels of effectiveness, the discussion quickly turned into a full volume exchange of shouts. “Where’s your card?”; “Eh?”; “Flat white for me“; “I haven’t seen him”. Several minutes passed with each gentleman confidently replying to questions that nobody asked. At one point three different conversations were happening simultaneously, none of which appeared to be related. Eventually everyone seemed satisfied that something important had been communicated, and they all retired to the bar for a bottle of red wine, (you know who you are). Great being a member of the seniors!

Just 6 players from the 1^st division, and 13 players in the 2^nd division.

No 2’s scored today.

All handicaps entered were correct for the first time ever, and all but 1 card was meticulously completed, well done all.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Going into the final round of the winter league:

Steve Gosling still leads the 1^st division followed by Paddy Moran and Paul Foster.

Mervyn Roberts still leads the 2^nd division, followed by Paul Keenan and Barry Smith.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 9 March

Reporter: Peter Willson

A chilly grey and gloomy day with little bit of mist to start – however the rain held off and the skies lightened somewhat.

5 teams – 18 players – 3 x 4 players; 2 x 3 players

Good ol’ Team Stableford format 

Winners: Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Rich Yates – 77 points in total – 25.7 points per player.

Yes, they did again; last out and most of the other competitors waiting in the clubhouse with bated breath for their card! But through a “schoolboy” accounting error all was nearly lost. A swift re-count and the spoils were theirs to take home (again!).

In second place: Kevin Bocquet, Dave Craggs and John Hayes – 75 points or 25 points per player.

Highest Individual scores – Mike Bennett – 30 points and Steve Bramall – 29 points. Mr Handicap Secretary – I draw your attention 🙂

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 12 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 15 March

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 1 is correct. There is no penalty. See Rule 6.2b(6). If a player’s ball in play lies in the teeing area, they may lift or move the ball without penalty and play it from a tee or the ground anywhere in the teeing area.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Andrew Cox

Only one of the following statements about Andrew is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Andrew was once involved in a traffic accident with the late Harry H Corbett (Harold Steptoe from Steptoe and Son). Andrew claims that the accident was not his fault
2. Whilst in a hotel in Japan, Andrew enjoyed breakfast on two consecutive mornings in the hotel restaurant. Breakfast was not included in his booking. He had unknowingly ‘crashed’ two separate wedding parties, and the guests were too polite to point out his error
3. Andrew was a member of the Bell Vue Aces speedway team competing frequently at the National Speedway Stadium in Gorton, Manchester in the 1970’s

Answer below

Winter League – Round 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

After months of winter conditions that tested all members patience, with saturated fairways, slow play, continuous rain, having to play a short course, and harsh conditions – there was real relief among members that spring golf may finally be on the horizon. This was the first day’s golf for many weeks when we were not dressed like Sherpa Tensing!

Scores reflected the improving conditions with nine players from 23 in the 1^st division managing to score under par, and five players from 16 in the 2^nd division also beating par.

Two 2s scored today, Paddy Moran & Russ Jones.

Two incorrect handicaps entered from the 1^st division and two also from the 2^nd division.

Lowest gross of the day belonged to Paddy Moran & Dave Meir, both finishing just 1 over par.

In the 1^st division, second place was decided on a count-back from four winners with equal points, in what can only be described as the most dramatic non-winning moment in seniors section history, round 8 produced a finish so tight that several calculators, two pencils, one pair of reading glasses and twelve fingers were required to separate the contenders. After an intense review of scorecards, the 4 players scored a total of 29 points, Grahame Brickell scored 14 on the back 6, Paddy Moran, Barry McGuigan & Tony Dixon scored 13 points. Paddy, Barry & Tony scored 7 points on the back 3, Paddy & Barry scored 3 points on the last hole. (Editor’s note: I’m losing the will to live). Both scored 3 on the hole 3, 2 points on hole 7, 2 points on hole 8, finally Paddy beat Barry by scoring 4 points on hole 11 to Barry’s 3 points. (All this is explained in the handicap rules).

Post-Round Reactions:

One contender blamed a temporary lapse in concentration caused by Edgar and Allan Crowe

Another cited ‘winter mats trauma’

Meanwhile Grahame quietly waltzed off with the glory whilst everyone else argued over decimal margins.

Moral of the day:

In golf, every shot counts – especially the ones you thought didn’t matter at the time

And remember, nobody remembers who finished second……

PLEASE CHECK YOUR SENIORS’ HANDICAPS – link below

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Steve Gosling still leads the 1^st division followed by Paddy Moran, John White & Mike Pigott.

Mervyn Roberts still leads the 2^nd division, followed by Paul Keenan, Bob Ellison and John Hayes

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 2 March

Reporter: Steve Bird

It appears that Spring is trying very hard to meet the meteorological timetable for a start date of 1st March. This morning we were greeted by watery sunshine, no precipitation, daffodils and green keepers lightly mowing fairways. In short, the sap is beginning to rise!

A total of 16 players today made up two teams of four, two of three and one of two. For the first time in many weeks we were able to play holes 1 – 13.

The winning team with an average score of 27.75 were Alan Copeland, Charlie Hill, Steve Bramall and Steve Bird. The latter top scored with 31 points and I had the pleasure of watching Steve Bramall pitching in from a full 100 yards on the 12th for a 4 pointer.

Runners up with a creditable average of 26.75 were Colin Crail, Mike Bennett, Richard Yates and Tony Dixon. 

Point of Admin:

Last night’s bookers will have noticed that the morning of 16 March was unavailable for booking in view of the course being closed for Spring maintenance. I apologise for this, but my original Seniors’ calendar said the maintenance was being done on the 23rd, so the club must have brought this forward by a week. So apart from a couple of minor amendments the schedule and bookers are the same for the 23rd as for the 16th.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 5 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 8 March

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. See Rule 9.7b. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball or ball-marker.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Andrew and his wife did unknowingly crash two wedding breakfasts. He was a speedway rider, although not a member of the Aces team. Andrew never met Steptoe.

Rules Quiz

The early history of Lymm Golf Club

Author: J M Goodier 26/2/2003

Although Lymm Golf Club opened in 1907, the history goes back before then, and is closely tied up with the building of the Manchester Ship Canal and the opening of the railway through Lymm.

The Manchester Ship Canal Company owned the land on either side of the present course of the canal and used part of this for depositing the spoil from the digging of the waterway. This accounts for the elevated land which houses holes 3 to 10. The construction of the canal also involved diverting the course of the River Mersey by building a short canal called Butchersfield to join two parts of the river together to the north of the land fill site across from the 6th green. Previously, the river had flowed behind the sixth green, alongside the ninth hole and in front of the clubhouse. It had then meandered round the practice ground, along the 11th fairway and in front of the 12th tee to eventually pass behind the 5th green where part of it can be seen to this day. The Ship Canal was opened in 1894.

The coming of the railway through Lymm opened up the village to Manchester businessmen who could commute each day and yet be able to live in a pleasant country village. One of these was Mr Alfred Watkin who lived at Dane Bank House. Morning conversations took place between these businessmen on the train and the idea of a golf club was formulated. Mr Watkin worked for the Ship Canal Company and in fact later became its Chairman. No doubt he was influential in the spoil heap being made available for construction of a nine-hole golf course. Mr Watkin was the first President of the club and, of course, has given his name to one of the major club competitions The Watkin Cup.

The first captain was Mr Boumphrey who lived at another large Lymm house Baycliffe, on the shores of Lymm Dam. It is very probable that virtually the entire early membership comprised of people of this sort. Very few ordinary people could play golf in those days. The course continued as 9 holes with a clubhouse where the present greenstaff sheds are now, until the early seventies, when, as a result of a freak accident on the level crossing to a farmer, the club was able to purchase the lower land and extend the course to 18 holes.

from John’s book “The First 100 Years at Lymm Golf Club”, copies available from the Club’s Office.

Winter League – Round 7

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another thoroughly miserable day, with heavy conditions testing both patience and perseverance. A slightly better day though than the previous two Fridays. A number of the more intelligent players wisely decided to remove their names from the play list, opting for warmth and comfort over a battle with the elements. For those who did tee up, play was slow and extremely hard work. The saturated fairways offered little run, and scoring reflected the tough conditions. Just five players from the field managed to score under par, a commendable effort given the circumstances. All in all, a day to forget, as far as I’m concerned. Let’s hope for better weather – and better golf – next time.

Competitors on the day – a new low of 29, 16 from the 1^st division and 13 from the 2^nd division.

Two 2s scored today, Koos Alders and Dave Meir.

Two incorrect handicaps entered from the 1^st division, and one from the 2^nd division.

Please check your seniors handicap (see link below).

Results

Division 1

Division 2

The winter league tables are starting to take shape now we have five rounds entered. Steve Gosling leads the 1^st division followed by Mike Pigott, John White and Paddy Moran. Mervyn Roberts leads the 2^nd division, followed by Paul Keenan, Bob Ellison and Alan Ranscombe. Game on….

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 23 February

Reporter: Steve Bird

Today’s weather word is “gloopy”, which means ‘semi fluid in consistency’ i.e. muddy. It can also mean ‘overly sentimental’, a term with which I’m sure our happy band are familiar with, particularly after one too many.

Ten holes open with a temporary green on hole 7. Sixteen players today with two teams of four, two of three and one of two. 

The winners were Pete Broady, John Mather and Steve Bird with an average, bang on par, score of 20. Steve top scored for the day with 22.

Runners up were Steve Gosling, Steve Rowley, Tony Dixon and Ken Pearce with an average of 18.5.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 26 February

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 1 March

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. See Definition of Lost. A ball does not become lost as a result of the player declaring it to be lost. A ball is lost only when it has not been found within three minutes after the player or their caddie (or partner) begin to search for it.

Newsletter editor: Ian Goodman

Rules Quiz

Did you know?

The 18th green at Lymm once sat on the ‘wrong side’ of the road. Before the major course redesign in the 1970s, golfers had to cross Whitbarrow Road mid‑round to play several holes. It was charming… and mildly hazardous. The modern layout was created specifically to bring all 18 holes onto the clubhouse side, giving Lymm its current, much safer flow.

Winter League – Round 6

Nothing to report as unfortunately the course was closed for the second Friday running (see photograph immediately above). Standings and handicaps remain as before.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 16 February

Reporter: Steve Bird

At 8 a.m. in steady rain I drove the few hundred yards from my home to the club not expecting to see anyone waiting to play but, lo and behold, there were about half a dozen hardy souls, brollies up, about to start the 8 holes that were open for play.

Whilst my clubs were in the car I was struggling to summon up the enthusiasm to get muddy and wet and justify this to Mrs B. So, I ducked (geddit?) out and returned to the warmth of home. 

I guess I’m just a soft southerner and it’s right what they say about those tough guys ‘oop north’, but today I just wasn’t up for it – along with many others I hasten to add. 

So, I have to apologise and say that I don’t know whether or not there was a competition but if there was, congratulations to everyone who took part just for turning up!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 19 February

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 22 February

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 2 is correct. See Rule 18.2a. The player’s ball is lost because the three-minute search time has passed and they did not identify their ball in a reasonable time.

Newsletter editor: Ian Goodman

Rules Quiz

Backdrop to our 3rd and 5th

Author: The Editor

Winter League – Round 5 (not played)

Reporter: Paul Foster

Friday’s golf conditions could have been best described as orthopedically unsound. A relentless combination of rain, wind, and a general murkiness that transformed the course into something resembling a hippopotamus spa, rather than a place to swing a club. The fairways I believe were fully saturated having finally accepted that drainage is more of a suggestion than a rule. Greens would have been technically present, though indistinguishable from the surrounding countryside and well struck putts would have moved at a lightning pace of approximately zero. Any ball landing anywhere would have plugged so deeply it probably would have had to apply for planning permission. In a rare display of mercy and common sense, thankfully the golf course was closed, saving golfers from sodden shoes, muddy socks, total despair and the need to explain to loved ones why their trousers weighed six kilos. All in all, an excellent day for not playing golf. No shots docked (damn!), no balls lost or drowned and no seniors gone missing in the pond-like bunkers.

In summary: Wind: ‘aggressive’. Rain: ‘unrelenting’. Visibility: ‘optional’. Course status: ‘wisely closed’. Golfers: ‘dry, smug and alive’.

We’ll regroup when the course returns to being grass instead of soup.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 9 February

Reporter: Steve Bird

The weather greeting us this morning was described by one of my teammates as ‘benign’ and whilst I would normally relate this word to a harmless disease, it also can mean ‘gentle and kindly’ which is exactly how I would describe the 14 souls, comprising 2 teams of 4 and 2 teams of 3, taking part. The course had taken a battering at the end of last week and was still drying out although the upper land was, as always, in good condition. 

The winning team with an average score of 25.5 were Messrs Chisnall, Lawless, Bocquet and Rowley with Kevin top scoring for the day with an impressive 29.

Runners up were Messrs Broady, Pickles, Mather and John Bramhall (not to be confused with Steve Bramall) with an average of 22.5.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 12 February

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 15 February

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 2 is correct. See Definition of Boundary Object. Any gate, steps, bridge or similar construction used for getting over or through a boundary wall or fence are not part of the boundary object.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Duncan Clarke

Only one of the following statements about Duncan is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1 In the sort of miscasting never seen in Hollywood, Duncan played Brutus in a school performance of ‘Julius Caesar ‘

2. Whilst Duncan’s Company was working at Liverpool Anglican Cathedral, Duncan was introduced to the Prince of Wales (now King Charles) 

3. Duncan and his wife Jan once had dinner with Luciano Pavarotti

Answer below

A personal request from Paul Collins

Author: The Editor

Winter League – Round 4

Reporter: Paul Foster

A grey, cold and damp day greeted the golfers, with testing conditions making scoring difficult throughout the field. The course played long and heavy, and opportunities were few and far between. Only one 2 was recorded, underlining how tough conditions were. Unfortunately, 4 cards were handed in with incorrect handicaps, and one card with no name on it…took me a while Mr Hughes! A reminder to all players to please check cards carefully before submission ensuring name, seniors handicap and gross score are completed correctly. Round of the day goes to Mike Pigott, an almost perfect round, Mike bogeyed the first, then proceeded to par the remaining eleven holes. A super round from Ken Pearce, who didn’t miss a fairway all day, and a very warm welcome to the top three podium for Les ‘c’mon you reds’ Williams. Also observed today, a lesson in bunker play from Paul Keenan who ‘sand saved’ three holes. Once again Edgar & Allan Crow were nowhere to be seen at the 10^th green. We will close this issue now with our feathered friends, as it looks likely they have flown to fairways new and given up on pilfering treats from seniors’ bags.

Competitors on the day – 39, 23 from the 1^st division and 16 from the 2^nd division.

Just one 2 scored today, Alister Cook at the 9th.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 2 February

Reporter: Steve Bird

We were greeted with drizzle which was not forecast, so umbrellas were at the ready. But the brollies were not required and very soon after, the weather settled down leaving us with a cloudy but pleasant morning.

A good turnout of 19 players comprising six teams. The winners were Steve Bird, Paul Foster, Trevor Williamson and Tony ‘hot putter’ Lambert with an average score of 25.5.

Runners up were Steve Rowley (who top scored for the day with 29 points), John White and Charlie Hill with an average score of 24.

Point of admin – At present we have about 15 to 20 Happy Monday regulars with many additional ‘as and when’ players who just wish to play the odd game. In future, I will roster in groups of three and can I ask any ‘as and when’ players to add themselves in as no. 4 in any group. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 5 February

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 8 February

Rules Quiz answer

Answer c is correct. You may drop a ball back-on-line outside the bunker but this would be for a cost of one penalty stroke. You could also drop a ball in the bunker, no nearer the hole, without penalty. See Rules on Relief from Abnormal Course Conditions (Including Immovable Obstructions).

Find the Fact answer

Answer 3 is correct. Duncan and Jan did indeed have dinner with the great Luciano Pavarotti after he performed at a gala concert at the Manchester Arena in the late nineties.

Newsletter resent – note from the Editor

I have reformatted and resent this week’s newsletter. This should make it easier to read for those subscribers who view the newsletter on their mobile phones.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Phil Perry

Can you find the Phil fact? One of the following statements is true, the other two are false.

1. Phil is one of three triplets (Phil, plus a brother and a sister)
2. Phil has had friendly chats with both Margaret Thatcher and Boris Johnson
3. During his time in the police service Phil was involved in the arrest of Peter Wyngarde (Jason King), who was later charged with and convicted for gross indecency

Answer below

Winter League – Round 3

Reporter: Paul Foster

A sharp winter chill greeted the field, but everyone arrived well wrapped and ready, layers zipped up, silly woolly hats pulled down low, and hands warmed in-between shots. Despite the cold, spirits stayed high and the course played beautifully, the crisp air making every strike feel extra satisfying. Edgar & Allan crow were nowhere to be seen, obviously a bit parky for the likes of our feathered friends, but not for our hardy seniors. Another bumper turnout of 43 players to brave the course. The outstanding score of the day, a quite extraordinary 32 points (8 under par) for Barrie Simpson. The moment of the day belonged to Martin Franks, who produced a superb hole-in-one. Sadly (and frustratingly), it came on a hole not included in the competition (the 13th), denying him official glory – but not the admiration of the seniors. It was still a shot to remember in an otherwise tough, cold-weather round. A winter’s day on the course, made memorable by one perfect swing. Round of the day goes to Mark Pickles, who finished 1 over par, including 3 birdies.

Competitors on the day – 43, 24 from the 1^st division and 19 from the 2^nd division.

Three 2s scored again today, Steve Bramall, Steve Gosling and Mike Bennett.

Eight cards were handed in with an incorrect handicap entered. Please check your up-to-date seniors handicap using the link below or from the banner on the senior’s website.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 26 January

Reporter: Steve Bird

A cloudy morning with a temperature of 5 degrees greeted us along with a steady cold easterly breeze. On the plus side the course was relatively dry with 13 holes playable and no temporary greens. 

Three teams of four took part with the winners Messrs Gosling, Barlow, Dixon and Lambert on an average score of 25.5.

Joint runners up with an average of 23 were Messrs Broady, Willson, White and Hill along with the team of Bird, Chisnall, Bramall and Pearce. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 29 January

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 1 February

Rules Quiz answer

Answer b is correct. See Definition of Boundary Object Rule 8.1a and Rule 8.1c. A boundary object cannot be moved to improve the conditions affecting the stroke. However, the player can avoid the penalty by replacing the stake to eliminate any improvement and restore the original conditions.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Phil has had friendly chats with both the Iron Lady and Boris Johnson. Phil will be happy to provide more detail when you next see him in the clubhouse or out on the course.

Rules Quiz

A player makes a practice swing and accidentally moves their ball on the fairway with the club. What is the ruling? a) There is no penalty, but the player must replace the ball. b) The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball. c) There is no penalty, but the practice swing counts as a stroke and the ball must be played as it lies.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Winter League – Round 2

Reporter: Paul Foster

Winter sunshine sets the scene for a lively 12-hole competition. Golfers were treated to a super bright winter’s day as a bumper field turned out for the 2^nd round of the Winter League. Clear skies and crisp conditions made for an enjoyable round, with the course looking particularly inviting despite the winter chill. Pace of play was generally good, although a few competitors were clearly enjoying themselves so much that they became momentarily confused about how many holes they should play in a 12-hole competition, and sneakily played an extra hole. Sadly for them I spotted their Brucie bonus hole which didn’t count towards the final scores, but they did provide a few smiles and plenty of post-round banter. Adding to the entertainment, whilst John White’s attention was firmly on the 10^th green, two feathered opportunists (Edger & Allan Crow with a sharp eye for an unattended bag) launched a well-coordinated raid on John’s golf bag. Clearly convinced there was food inside, and absolutely unconcerned about etiquette, one crow acted as lookout while his partner went straight for the zip. Although no snacks were officially confirmed missing, the incident caused plenty of mirth and served as a timely reminder to guard your sandwiches as carefully as your card. Edgar & Allan were later spotted perching nearby, calmly waiting for the next 4-ball to arrive. All in all, a cracking winter’s outing, proving once again that sunshine, good company, and a little selective interpretation of the rules make for a memorable day at the course.

Competitors on the day – 41, 23 from the 1^st division and 18 from the 2^nd division.

Three 2s scored today, Mark Lyons, Martin Franks & Barry Smith.

Round of the day goes to Mike Pigott, who finished 2 over par.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 19 January

Reporter: Peter Willson

Another dank, chilly and foggy start to the day, however the fog dispersed slowly and it turned out to be reasonable day for golf!

4 teams with 12 players.

Winners – Mike Bennett and Colin Crail  (on his 1st outing of the season) – 27 points per player.

Second – 2 teams – Tony Dixon and Charlie Hill plus Steve Barlow, Kevin Bocquet, Ian Goodman and Peter Willson – both teams had 25.5 per player.

High Score: 28 points – 2 players – Colin Crail and Steve Gosling.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 22 January

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 25 January

Rules Quiz answer

Answer b. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball. See Rule 9.4b and Definition of Stroke. If a player causes their ball to move they get one penalty stroke and the ball must be replaced. As there was no intention to strike the ball, the practice swing does not count as a stroke.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Koos (age 3) is pictured with his mother in the tulip fields that surrounded the house where he grew up. Koos’s father was a bulb grower. Koos didn’t take up golf until 2004, and he wasn’t allowed to vote in the Brexit referendum.

Rules Quiz

On the putting green, a player marks their ball. They do not remove the marker before hitting their putt. What is the ruling? a) There is no penalty. b) The player gets one penalty stroke. c) The player loses the hole

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Winter League – Round 1

Reporter: Paul Foster

The first seniors’ round of the new year, and the start of the winter league, got underway with a lucky break from the weather. Storm Goretti skirted past the course, but the cold certainly didn’t, with temperatures staying bitingly cold all day. Winter greens were in full effect, a patchwork of problems, mottled and inconsistent, with bare patches and soft areas interrupting any sense of a consistent bounce, or true roll, putts wobbled and wandered, pulled off line by subtle dips and unexpected ridges. In contrast, the fairways echoed with well struck shots and the constant rustle of waterproofs, as everyone was layered up like mountaineers heading for base camp. Not pretty golf at times, (Colin Hughes ran out of trees to hit on the 8th) but gritty, determined, and a curiously satisfying way to start the year.

Competitors on the day – 28, 14 from the 1st division and 14 from the 2nd division.

Two 2s scored today, both from Paddy, at the second and the ninth.

Round of the day goes to Mike Pigott, who finished level par. (Uneven, sloping, mud-riddled, tiny winter greens don’t faze Mike)

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 12 January

Reporters: Peter Willson, Steve Bird (from Lanzarote) and the Editor

An overcast grey day with little wind and even less sun. The ground conditions were damp and little to no run on the ball, the greens were fluffy but still in good condition for the time of year considering the recent weather.

It has been difficult to piece this week’s results together as some teams went out early and their cards seem to have been ‘misplaced’. Most players also scarpered without handing over their hard-earned coin, so there doesn’t seem to be a prize fund to share out this week.

Our best efforts to agree an order of merit seem to indicate that the winners were Steve Gosling and Paul Foster. In second place was the team of Tony Lambert, Peter Willson and Barrie Simpson. In bronze medal position (and to be brutally honest, last place) were Messrs Broady, Bramall and Hill.

It would be vulgar to publish the contributions made by individuals to these team results (even if we knew what they were).

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 15 January

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 18 January

Rules Quiz answer

b) The player gets one penalty stroke. See Rule 14.1a. If a player makes a stroke with the ball-marker left in place they get one penalty stroke.

Handicaps for the Winter League

Author: Paul Foster

All members are to continue using their existing seniors’ handicaps into the coming Winter 2026 league. This includes members in both divisions 1 and 2.

Members on 19 or below will be in the 1st division. Members above this will be in the 2nd division. This ensures that (as in the Autumn League) no 1st division member has 2 shots on any hole. It also means that we should have a fairly equal number of active members competing in each division.

Your Seniors’ handicap is also used in the Happy Mondays competitions.

Should you wish to discuss the history / background to this decision made by the committee, then please feel free to have a word with our Handicap Secretary Paul Foster.

Please find a link to the latest Seniors’ handicaps here.

Rules Quiz

A player’s ball lies just off the putting green. There is sand on the putting green between the ball and the hole that the player wishes to remove. What is the ruling? a) As the ball is not on the green the player must not remove the sand. b) Sand is not a loose impediment and cannot be removed. c) The sand on the green may be removed by any means.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 5 January

Sole entrant and winner of Monday’s comp. Seen here after celebrating by getting legless in the clubhouse.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 8 January

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 11 January

Rules Quiz answer

C is correct. See Rule 13.1c. Sand and loose soil on the putting green may be removed without penalty.

Rules Quiz

In a match, a player’s ball is stuck in a bush. The bush itself is growing from an area of ground under repair, but the ball is hanging outside of the ground under repair. The player takes free relief using the spot on the ground directly under where the ball lies to measure out the relief area. The player drops the ball in the right way and plays their next stroke. What is the ruling? a) The player loses the hole for playing from the wrong place. b) There is no penalty. c) The player gets one penalty stroke for taking relief for an unplayable ball.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Looking back

Just a little reminder as we look forward to the New Year that this is also a good time to look back. For those of you who haven’t had chance, I would enthusiastically recommend that you take a little time to look at the excellent article created by Dave Craggs and Rob Taylor documenting the history of our Seniors’ Section. There is a link to the document in the banner on our homepage, or you can access it by clicking here.

Seniors’ Section newsletter in 2026

Author: The Editor

Thank you to those members of the Seniors who have made kind comments and offered words of encouragement since I took over the newsletter from the redoubtable Mr Pickles. It would be helpful to hear your comments on what you would like to see here as we move into the New Year. Please button-hole me in the clubhouse, send me a message on IG, or email me at ianrgoodman@outlook.com with your ideas on how the newsletter could be improved.

Happy Mondays Report – 29 December 2025

Reporter: Steve Bird

Excellent conditions for winter golf greeted us for the last Monday of 2025. No wind, no rain, not too cold and the course finally drying out following a few days of minimal rain.

Fifteen players took part, 3 teams of 4 plus one of 3. The winners with a below par average of 27 were Messrs Gosling, Lawless, Kendal and Bocquet. Tommy was also top scorer for the day with 31 points off his 10 handicap. Well done Mr Lawless.

Runners up with a score of 25.5 was the team of Foster, Rowley, Bennett and Lambert with Steve contributing 29.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 1 January

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 4 January

Rules Quiz answer

b) is correct. There is no penalty. See Clarification Ground Under Repair/2

Rules Quiz

In stroke play, a player bends some long grass out of the way to get a clear view of their ball in the rough. They then play their next stroke. What is the ruling? a) there is no penalty b) The player gets one penalty stroke c) the player gets two penalty strokes.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Friday 19 December – Bottle of Wine

Reporter: Paul Foster

The final Bottle of Wine competition of the year was played under clear blue skies on a fine winter’s day, providing perfect conditions to close out the year. With little wind and crisp air, the course presented beautifully, its summer greens running true and mats on fairways provided a firm lie. A strong field turned out, with members keen to finish on a high note. Scoring reflected the favourable conditions with exactly half of the field playing to plus or minus 2 shots of their handicap. The standout performance came from the eventual winner Steve Bramall who has now seen his handicap reduced six shots in two weeks by the axeman! Despite the competitive edge, the day was marked by good spirits and camaraderie, fitting for the final event of the calendar. As the last putts dropped and clubs were packed away, players gathered in the clubhouse to reflect on a successful year of golf and look ahead with anticipation to the Winter League.

Competitors on the day – 30. One 2 scored today, Paul Lennie at the 9th. As we played 13 holes, all scores have been pro-rated up 15 holes.

RESULT

Seven handicaps have been amended based on the day’s efforts. Please click on the link below for the details:

Seniors’ handicaps

Happy Mondays Report – 22 December

Reporter: Steve Bird

On the day following the year’s shortest day it was barely light when my group teed off at 08:33, however, as they say in these parts, it “turned out nice’ and by 10 o’clock the sun had broken through and it was relatively warm with no rain, albeit boggy underfoot on the lower land.

A total of 14 players made up four teams – 2 x 4 players and 2 x 3. The winning team comprised Paul Foster, Mike Kendal and Tony Lambert with an average score of 25.66. Runners up were late starters Messrs Broady, Bramall, Dixon and Thornton with a score of 25.

On a point of admin, many of our merry bunch will be taking in the winter sun in foreign parts (me included) and it would help me when drawing up rotas if you could message me and Mike Kendal (Friday Rota) as to when you are away. This will save us clogging up tee times with members who are not around to play. Thanks.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow 25 December!

(Health and safety warning: Tee bookers should take extra care when using computer equipment whilst under the affluence of incohol imbibed on Christmas day.)

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 28 December

Rules Quiz answer

C is correct. Rule 8.1a. By moving the grass the player improved their lie and the area of the intended swing.

Rules Quiz

Player B’s ball was lying badly in deep rough. Player A said to player B: “You have no shot at all. If I were you, I would declare the ball unplayable”. What is the ruling? a) A gets two penalty strokes for giving advice. If player B follows that advice they also get two penalty strokes. b) Player A gave player B information on the Rules, so no penalty. c) As player A’s advice could have influenced player B in determining his play, A gets two penalty strokes. Player B is not penalised

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Seniors. Christmas Lunch

Reporter: Ian Goodman

No golf before our Christmas do! The course was closed for the day to avoid the possibility of contracting trench foot on a waterlogged track. As we didn’t have to chop our way through the mud all our energy could be diverted to carousing in the clubhouse. Top marks to Paul Foster for keeping his party hat on well into the evening. I’m sure that everyone who attended will agree that it was a first-class event. Great food, wonderful companionship and a chance to get to know each other better. It’s far easier to communicate with your fellow seniors when you’re sat next to each other, rather than having to shout across an unused fairway from your side of the rough. I’ve put a few photographs of some of the more photogenic attendees below.

Happy Mondays Report – 15 December

Resident poet: The Editor

Unhappy Mondays for a change
There was no golf at all
Our glorious course was waterlogged
No chance to whack a ball

We had to stay inside at home
And do as we were bid
But looking on the bright side...
At least we saved a quid

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 18 December

As advised in last week’s newsletter, there is no booking schedule for a Friday game on 2 January. Please make your own arrangements and book on IG as normal if you do want to play.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule Sunday 21 December

Rules Quiz answer

C is correct. See Rule 10.2a and Clarification Advice/1. Such a comment is advice because it could have influenced the player in deciding how to play the hole.

Rules Quiz

In stroke play, instead of recording his usual signature on his score card, a player records his initials. What is the ruling? a) The player is disqualified. b) The penalty is disqualification but this may be waived by the Committee. c) There is no penalty.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Chairman Vacancy

You may be aware that due to a resignation the Seniors is currently without a Chairman. If you would like to “put a bit back” and join the Seniors’ Committee in this role then please let any member of the committee know. The job is not too onerous, and you will of course have the full support of an established committee behind you. The responsibilities of the role are set out on page 3 of our Strategy, Rules and Guidelines document. Should you want to have a word before you step forward, then please feel free to speak to any member of the Seniors’ Committee.

Christmas meal – Friday 12 December

For those of you signed up for our Christmas meal this Friday please do your best to arrive at 2.00 p.m. You should be in your seat, Christmas party hat in place, ready to receive your festive fare at 2.30 p.m. As things stand, the Fun Game on Friday morning will be over 12 holes. If you have an early tee time you can of course play as many holes as you wish, with the first 12 counting towards the bottle of wine prize. The £20 cost for the meal and free raffle should already have been debited to your bar account by the time you receive this newsletter.

Final Round Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

On Friday, I was unable to participate in the final round of the Autumn League due to physical and cognitive impairment resulting from excessive alcohol consumption the previous night, which exceeded my normal tolerance. Upon waking, I experienced symptoms including dizziness, dehydration, fatigue and reduced coordination. After several failed attempts to stand upright, locate my clubs, or even remember how to get to Lymm, I concluded that I should not participate in the days event to avoid potential injury, not only to myself, but my fellow golfers, nearby trees and anyone standing within a 30-meter radius. I acknowledge responsibility for this incident and will take steps to ensure it does not happen again (Editor’s note: well, we’ll see about that won’t we Paul?). The root cause was identified as saying “one for the road” approximately six times too often.

Therefore, a truncated report this week:

Competitors on the day – 38, 16 from the 1^st division and 22 from the 2^nd division.

One 2 scored today, Duncan Clarke at the 9^th.

Round of the day goes to Mark Pickles, who finished gross 2 over par, even with an OOB on the 10^th.

As we played 13 holes, all scores have been pro-rated up to 15 holes.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

As predicted, Russell Jones held a large enough lead to retain top position in the first division. Even the round of the day for Mark Pickles was not enough to catch him.

A tremendous final round from Ian Goodman saw him overhaul the two point lead Paul Lennie had enjoyed, securing Ian first place in the second division

Winners of the Autumn League

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 8 December

Reporter: Steve Bird

A lovely calm early December morning greeted 12 players who made up four teams of three.

The winning team was Alan Copeland, Kevin Bocquet and Mike Bennett who averaged a creditable par score of 26 per head.

We had three runners up teams who spookily all scored 74 points and therefore averaged 24.66 points per head.

Two points of admin:

The winners of prize money referred to in the weekly newsletter of 26 November have had their winnings credited to their bar accounts.

It appears that the club have blocked out our early tee times when we usually start at 8:06, presumably in view of the darker mornings. I acknowledge that last Sunday’s tee booking was a bit chaotic and the attached booking schedule starts at 8:33 in line with the requirements of IG. I will monitor available booking times for future dates until we can revert to our usual 8:06 start. 

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 14 December

Golf – Boxing Day Friday 26 December and Friday 2 January 2026

For those of you who are keen to try out your Christmas golfing gifts (or just desperate to escape from your families), your fellow Seniors will be taking to the course on the above dates. Please note there will be no booking schedules issued for these dates, you will need to make arrangements between yourselves for a social game and book on IG as normal. Boxing Day may well be busy, so “book early”. The good news is that you are almost guaranteed to shoot your best score of the year so far on the second date above.

Correction and apology

Author: Ian Goodman

In last week’s newsletter I mistakenly included the following phrase: “Our esteemed Chairman Mr Craggs“. In response to the significant number of you who were extremely keen to point this out to me, neither the second nor the third words in the phrase are applicable. Mr Craggs is of course our Secretary. Please accept my apologies for this error which was immediately corrected.

Rules Quiz answer

c) is correct. See Clarification 3.3b/2. There is no penalty if initials were used to certify, rather than the full name.

Rules Quiz

In stroke play, when playing out of a bad lie, a player accidentally hits the ball a second time on their follow through. What is the ruling? a) The double hit counts as only one stroke and there is no penalty. b) The double hit counts as two strokes but there is no additional penalty. c) The double hit counts as one stroke but the player gets an additional one penalty stroke.

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Abergele – Thursday 3 September 2026

Next year’s Abergele Seniors Open will take place on Thursday 3 September 2026. Six tee times have been booked from 10.30 a.m. Please let the ever-smiling organiser Pete Broady know if you are interested in playing at this outstanding course. Pete’s contact details are on IG. No firm commitment is needed at this stage and there’s no need to send Pete the money you’ve set aside for Christmas. Pete will collect the funds early next year once the 24 players are known.

2026 Senior Section Calendar

Our esteemed Secretary Mr Craggs has collated the Seniors calendar for the coming year. Please click here or on the Senior Section Calendars link in the banner at the top of this newsletter to see what 2026 holds in store.

Lymm Seniors’ Strategy, Rules and Guidelines

The above document has also been updated and amended. Again, this document can be accessed either here or from the banner at the top of this newsletter. The protocol for arranging matches in our knockout competitions has been clarified. Here’s an extract from the new guidance: “It is the responsibility of the individual or pair whose name(s) appear(s) highest in the draw to contact their opponent(s), offer some possible dates for the match to be played, agree a date and then book the agreed tee time on IG“. Making one individual or pair responsible for making the initial contact should hopefully speed up the process of getting a date agreed and in the players’ diaries.

Round 9 of 10 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

The day started like a picture postcard, and ended like a Norse myth.

What began as a serene Friday morning on the course, quickly turned into a meteorological hostage situation. The round opened as a glorious winter’s day, I even removed my leggings to ease the overheating which, in hindsight, was as bold as declaring “what could possibly go wrong”. By the 4^th the breeze had picked up, “invigorating” we lied to each other. By the 7^th, the dark satanic clouds had gathered in a way that suggested they had been watching my putting stroke and were deeply offended. The heavy rain started, which gave us a chance to show mental fortitude. But by the 10^th, the heavens decided subtlety was overrated and switched directly to ‘angry hail machine gun mode’. Suddenly, every golfer on the course resembled a confused penguin, sprinting for shelter while shouting things like, “only 3 holes to go” or “where’s my umbrella gone?”. Golfers streamed off the course from all directions, whizzing past us as if they were participating in some budget action film. But like the committed athletes we are, we finished the round. My final putt crossed the hole, but at that point the ball was a frozen marble, and the rules of physics didn’t apply. (Editor’s note: the next part of this report contains information which some readers may find disturbing). Dave Craggs and I dragged our frozen sodden bodies to the changing room, to remove all our drenched clothing (Dave had a rather dapper pair of grey faux leather leggings under his golf trousers). These were replaced with dry, unworn waterproofs, so we could attend the Seniors’ committee meeting in some sort of comfort. In summary, scorecard ruined, morale questionable, story unforgettable.

Competitors on the day – a session low of 30, 13 from the 1^st division (wimps) and 17 from the 2^nd division (well hard). Three cards handed in by ‘golfers’ who sought refuge in the clubhouse after playing 6 holes.

Considering the atrocious weather conditions, eleven players commendably equalled or beat their handicap.

One 2 scored today, Ian Whitehead at the 9^th.

Only 1 player put the wrong handicap on their scorecard.

Pity I didn’t witness the duel between Russ Jones and Ian Whitehead. I’d have paid money to watch those two play today. Russ played the front nine in 32, finished gross 3 under par for the 13 holes, including a mind blowing seven 3s. Ian was 2 over par for the 13 holes. Their round showcased two skilled golfers bringing out the best in each other. An example of seniors’ golf played at a high level.

As we played 13 holes, all scores have been pro-rated up to 15 holes.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

With one round to go to complete the Autumn league the lead at the top of division 1 is now an impressive 11 points. Seems little anyone can do to stop Russ Jones from winning the prize. Mark Pickles just needs to step up and record at least 41 points to overhaul Russ.

In division 2 Paul Lennie and Ian Goodman go into the final round both in the hunt for glory.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 1 December

Reporter: Steve Bird

Firstly, my apologies for not turning up today. When I had a message from Mr Willson before it got light to say that, after Friday’s deluge, he was still drying out the decision was made for me. The kind of day which my Scots ancestors would call dreich and only folk with strong fortitude would dream of playing golf.

When I looked at 8:30 there were only 5 of our merry band still on the booking sheet. So, if your name is Chisnall, Copeland, Craggs, Bramall or Bocquet I’m sure you have everyone’s utmost respect – or you just didn’t unbook yourselves.

If you DID play, congrats to the winners.!!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 4 December

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 7 December

Rules Quiz answer

a) The double hit counts as only one stroke and there is no penalty. See Rule 10.1a.

Rules Quiz

When taking lateral relief for an unplayable ball, the two club-length relief area is measured from the nearest point of complete relief. True or False?

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Trophies – Engraving

It has been agreed that the cost of engraving will be borne by the Seniors’ funds going forward. All trophy holders are advised to get their trophies engraved with their name and submit the invoice to our Treasurer Mervyn Roberts.

Recommended engraver: Warrington Trophy World, 31 Irwell Road, Warrington WA4 6BA.

Round 8 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

Friday’s round was held in conditions best described as ‘polar’. It was a beautiful day, cold, harsh, and oddly magical, with the winter sun spreading its tentacles across the land. A version of the golf course where nature has pressed the ‘pause’ button…and golf balls behaved in ways no rulebook could ever prepare you for. With early temperatures low enough to make a penguin shiver and greens harder than a week-old Christmas pudding, our brave competitors marched onto the course armed with thermals, a varied selection of silly woollen hats and enough hand warmers to heat the halfway house cabin. From the very first tee, it was clear this would not be a day for textbook golf, drives flew in all directions upon landing on the concrete fairways, chips onto the greens bounced like super bouncers, no chance of repairing any pitch marks, and putts skidded across the icy greens as if auditioning for an ice-hockey match. Today showcased a resilience and enthusiasm that defines seniors’ golf. Once the battle was over, players retreated to the clubhouse for hot drinks, defrosting sessions, and to concede that the greens had definitely won the day. Not one player beat their handicap. Indeed, only Alan ‘of the Antarctic’ Copeland and Jeff ‘Robert Peary’ Ashurst managed to play to par.

Lowest gross of the day goes to Mike Pigott (again) at 3 over gross (again).

Two 2s scored today, George Clarke with a tremendous 2 at the 9^th, and Dave Craggs (again) with a chip in at the 13^th.

Competitors on the day – a low 38, 14 from the 1^st division (wimps) and 24 from the 2^nd division (well hard). As we played 13 holes, all scores have been pro-rated up to 15 holes.

Two players put the wrong handicap on their scorecard, both 2^nd division players this week. Thirteen handicaps have changed for the next round (all up), so carefully check yours please. Largest handicap increase of the year awarded to our new chairman Les Williams, who gained a gargantuan 3.5 shots!

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Only 2 rounds left to complete in the Autumn league. The leads at the top of both divisions are tighter than Paul Collins’ golf trousers after Christmas dinner. The competitors are separated by margins so small you’d need reading glasses to see them. The chasing packs are lurking, just a few points behind, ready to pounce if one of them benefits from a generous handicap adjustment (Editor’s note: “unlikely”) or should one of the leaders three putt (Editor’s note: “more likely”). All to play for, Russ Jones and Mark Pickles, Paul Lennie and Ian Goodman. Game on….

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 24 November

Reporter: Steve Bird

Weatherwise, a typical late November morning, dull and dreary but much better than the forecast which had predicted drizzle and a fresh breeze. The course was recovering after being closed for the whole weekend and we were able to play 13 holes.

Four teams of three took part and the winners with an average score of a remarkable 29 were Steve Gosling, Colin Chisnall and Steve Bramall. All scored on or under net par with Mr Bramall the days leading scorer on 33.

Runners up were Alan Copeland, Ron Thornton and John Hayes with an average score of 24.3. The remaining teams scored 24 and 23 so pretty close for the trailing pack. 

I now have £22 in my piggy bank representing unclaimed winnings from this and previous weeks. It appears that the need to get home outweighs the need for cash !! 

For the record the outstanding recipients are:

• Colin Chisnall £9
• Phil Perry £5
• Steve Gosling £4
• Steve Bramall £4 

I shall be around every Monday and Friday if you would like to claim your coin. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 27 November

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 30 November

Rules Quiz answer

False – See rule 19.2.  The relief area is measured from the spot of the ball.

Seniors Christmas Lunch – Friday 12 December

Author: Ian Goodman

A further reminder to get your name added to the list on the Seniors’ noticeboard for our Christmas lunch. As previously advised, the cost will be just £20 which includes subsidised entry to the free raffle. There’s no need to make any payment if you are joining in the festive revelry, the £20 will be debited from your bar account on Wednesday the 10th of December. That’s when the guest list will be finalised, so no refunds after that date.

Round 7 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

The eagerly awaited round 7 of the Autumn league was officially cancelled, not by the green staff, but by Mother Nature, who apparently decided to enter the competition herself – by turning the entire course into a small chain of lakes. During the early morning inspection, several fairways had disappeared, replaced by water hazards that were not on the course map, balls floated, ducks applauded, and the bunker on the 5^th was last seen attempting to merge with the Manchester Ship Canal. Trollies would be at risk of becoming submarines and buggies required life jackets. With the course officially more suitable for canoeing than driving (in either sense) the green staff reluctantly confirmed the cancellation of round 7.

But wait, an error from your ‘axeman’!

In last week’s newsletter, John White was declared the 1^st division winner, even though John is in division 2!

Don’t ask….the issue came to light when it was realised that the scoring system had apparently entered its rebellious teenage phase and produced the 1^st division results based on…well, nothing that resembled what it should have been. In a full investigation (featuring calculators, chin scratching and strong coffee) it was discovered a mathematical error had slipped into the spreadsheet. This error enthusiastically multiplied things it was supposed to add, added things it was supposed to subtract and generally behaved like a seniors member hacker with a new set of Ping clubs. As a result, the initial results for division 1 were about as accurate as a blindfold putt in a hurricane.

The corrected 1^st division results are published below, and the rightful winner (Koos) can relax knowing his glory is now known. Meanwhile, John White, who briefly believed he’d secured lifelong bragging rights, is encouraged to cherish the memory – it was lovely while it lasted eh John?

I apologise for the confusion and congratulate the actual winner.

Conclusion: I’m getting old, I shouldn’t had finished off that bottle of Colheita Port I opened the previous night whilst rushing the results through, and Excel is not a suggestion-based program. Actually, all of the above is rubbish, I just cocked up!

Results for round 6

Division 1

The 2nd division results were surprisingly correct!

Handicaps and league tables were not affected by the alcohol induced error.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 17 November

Reporter: Steve Bird

A bright, sunny, albeit chilly, morning welcomed 16 players spread over five teams. Whilst the weather was welcoming, particularly after the weekends storm, conditions did not lend themselves to low scoring with fairways boggy on the lower land, masses of fallen leaves and a low November sun making following the ball difficult. I suspect quite a few balls were lost – they certainly were in my group.!

The winning team was Colin Chisnall, Mike Pigott and Dave Craggs who averaged 25 points per head over the 13 playable holes. Dave was top scorer for the day with 31 points. 

Runners up with an average of 23.25 points per head were Mark Pickles, Paul Foster, John White and Ken Pearce. 

The remaining three teams scored 21.6, 21.5 and 21.5 pp which, if nothing else shows consistency.!

If the winners would like to catch up with me, I shall distribute the coins.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 20 November

Author: Mike Kendal

With sunrise now getting later in the morning, there are limitations in being able to meet all the preferred playing times for the early risers that like to be out early doors. I will do my utmost to try and get those who have asked for an early tee time out in the first half of the field.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 23 November

Prostate Cancer Support raffle

Author: Ian Goodman

As you know Lymm Golf Club supports the Prostate Cancer Support Charity. Phil Ormesher has made us aware of the following raffle which he hopes will raise further funds for this fantastic cause. No excuse for the City fans in particular not to buy a ticket.

Vale of Llangollen Seniors Open – Thursday 4 June 2026

Author: Grahame Brickell

24 attendees this year who had an enjoyable day out despite the odd heavy shower. We have some reserved tee times from 11.10 already for 2026. Please message Grahame Brickell via IG to book your place. Those who went last year are already pencilled in. Cost for the golf is £35, an absolute bargain!

Hawkstone Park – 21 & 22 July 2026 – Last chance!

Author: Les Williams

It’s your last chance to get your name down for the above trip. Not to be missed! £225 per person and includes 2 rounds of golf, bed, breakfast and evening meal. £45 secures your place with the balance due by the end of June 2026. Please contact chairman Les by this Friday to sign up.

Padeswood & Buckley GC Senior Open – 7 July 2026

Author: John Hayes

Preliminary notice 😄 for next Summer – the Padeswood and Buckley GC Senior Open will be held on the above date. We now have tee times reserved from 10 30 a.m. every 10 minutes for a total of 6 slots, 24 golfers in all. Put the date in your calendar! I shall take bookings and payment next March. At this stage you could let me know your interest without firm commitment if you wish.

Round 6 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another calm day brings in some HOT scores.

It was one of those perfect Autumn days on the course, calm air, soft light, and fairways painted in gold and rust. The lack of breeze made for ideal playing conditions and it showed on the scorecards, with 24 from 45 playing to or beating their handicap. Many members posted their best rounds of the season, taking full advantage of the still weather, shortened holes and receptive greens. The sun started to slip away alarmingly early for the tailenders, I’m sure the light started to fade at 1.30pm, a sure sign that winter is on its way. But for one peaceful afternoon, golf was at its Autumn best, quiet, steady and full of fine scoring.

Competitors on the day – 45, 18 from the 1^st division and 27 from the 2^nd division.

Three 2s scored again today, Ian Goodman, Mike Pigott and Dave Craggs

Down to two players who put the wrong handicap on their scorecard, both 1^st division players!! Fifteen handicaps have changed for round 7, (mostly down) so carefully check your handicap please.

Lowest gross of the day goes to Mike Pigott at 3 over gross.

Largest handicap chop of the year awarded to Stuart Baird, who lost a jumbo 4.5 shots!!!!

With Remembrance Day not far off, it was a pity we didn’t play the 14^th so we could stop and spare a minute to remember our departed seniors, whose names grace the memorial bench.

As we played 13 holes, all scores have been pro-rated up 15 holes.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays – 10 November

Reporter: Steve Bird

A bright sunny morning with no wind albeit wet under foot. However by close of play, it had clouded over and drizzle was in the air.

Fifteen players took part split over five teams. The winners were Steve Bramall, Phil Perry and Barrie Simpson with an average score of 32 over the 15 holes played. Steve top scored overall with 39 points which included 4 points on each of the opening 3 holes. 

Runners up were Colin Chisnall and Steve Rowley with average scores of 29.

The winners all departed the clubhouse without collecting their winnings so if you would like to catch up with me next time, I have 5 of the King’s pounds for each of you!

There was some discussion around which handicaps we were supposed to be using on Mondays. It was agreed that it would be inappropriate to use WHS handicaps when a) the course is not WHS compliant (with the use of some tee off mats and individual mats being used other than on greens) b) there is no way to record WHS scores on IG and c) Seniors handicaps reflect current form (it is acknowledged that Monday’s individual scores do not get logged for handicap purposes but Fridays do).

So, to summarise, please use your up-to-date full handicap (not 95%) taken from the spreadsheet on the Seniors Web page for Happy Mondays competitions. Thanks.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow (Thursday 13 November)

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 16 November

Out with the old and in with the old

Reporter: Ian Goodman

Your new committee: a much better-looking line-up this year, I’m sure we can all agree.

Firstly though, a massive thank you to our departing committee members: John Armstrong, Mark Pickles, Steve Gosling and Peter Willlllson for all their hard work, patience and creativity during their terms of office. A very hard act to follow!

Left to right in the photograph above:

• Grahame Brickell (old boy) – Inter Club Competitions Officer
• Dave Craggs (old boy) – Secretary
• Paul (the axeman) Foster (old boy) – Handicap Secretary
• Les Williams (new boy) – Chairman
• Mike Kendal (old boy) – Friday Booking Secretary
• Ian Goodman (new boy) – Communications Officer
• Mervyn Roberts (new boy) – Treasurer & Membership Secretary
• Ian Smith (new boy) – Competitions Secretary
• Steve Bird (old boy) – Monday Booking Secretary (Editor’s note: Steve was away on holiday when the photograph above was taken. See Happy Mondays report below for a mugshot))
• Maintenance Managers – Grahame Brickell (rockery) and Dave Craggs (memorial bench)

Please feel free to buttonhole any of the above with your suggestions on how we can make our Seniors Section even stronger and better than it already is. Contact details for all your committee are in the directory on the club website.

Hawkstone Park – 21 &22 July 2026

Reporter: Les Williams

For the past five years we have run a trip to Hawkstone park, consisting of one round of golf on the Hawkstone course, playing in pairs for the Hawkstone Trophy. Day two is a four man team event on the championship course. The cost is £225 per person and includes golf, bed, breakfast and evening meal. We have two vacancies for next year, anyone interested please contact Les Williams. £45 secures your place with the balance due by the end of June 2026

Seniors Christmas Lunch – Friday 12 December

A quick reminder that our Christmas lunch will be held on the above date. Further details to follow. The cost will be a scrooge-pleasing £20 which includes subsidised entry to the free raffle. A list will go up on the Seniors noticeboard shortly for all those who wish to attend. An occasion not to be missed!

Round 5 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

Members were treated to a truly delightful Autumn day on the Royal Lymm Golf Course, with relatively warm air, a shroud of grey clouds keeping the sun at bay, and the trees showing off their finest seasonal colours. The benign conditions and shortened course brought out some equally fine golf. Many players found their rhythm, with accurate drives, sharp iron play and confident putting, leading to many excellent scores, thirteen players equalling or beating their handicap. The friendly spirit of competition was matched only by the good humour and camaraderie both on the course and in the clubhouse, that makes our seniors section so enjoyable.

Competitors on the day – 40, 16 from the 1^st division and 24 from the 2^nd division.

Three players put the wrong handicap on their scorecard, this is slowly reducing, hope to achieve all correct hcaps by round 10.

Eleven handicaps have changed for round 6, so carefully check your handicap please.

Lowest gross of the day goes to Mark ‘the spurk mat specialist’ Pickles at 2 over gross, and Mark kept a 6 off his card. Russ Jones had a poor start to the round scoring 5 points in the first 5 holes, then treated his playing partners to some scintillating golf, playing the last 12 holes in 1 under par gross, scoring 28 points!! Andrew Ransom scored the only 5 pointer of the day, scoring 12 points on holes 9 to 11.

Three 2s scored today, Michael John, Tony Dixon and a tremendous 2 from Andrew Ransom.

Results:

• Division 1 winner: Mark Pickles with 34pts
• R/up: Russ Jones with 33pts on a CPO
• 3^rd: Michael John with 33pts

• Division 2 winner: Ian Goodman with 36pts
• R/up: Dave Craggs with 35pts
• 3^rd: Phil Ormesher with 33pts

Leader boards

Happy Mondays – 3 November

Reporter: Steve Bird

Severe overnight rain and continuing showers left the ground very heavy with standing water on some greens. Many players withdrew leaving a mere three teams starting and only two completing the full 15 holes. The winning team of Alan Copeland, Steve Bird and Dave Craggs (pictured) scored a commendable 94 points averaging 31.3 pp. Dave scored 34 points, but the top scorer of the day was Steve Bramall with 36 points. Full marks to Steve and the rest of his team, Messrs Broady, Hill and White for turning out and completing the full 15 on such a soggy day.

Autumn Rules – clarification

Author: Paul Foster

This is a really Important Notice about the temporary Senior’s rule
The seemingly never-ending recent fall of leaves coupled with the soggy conditions means that balls are being lost in the fairways with horrendous regularity, which is slowing play to a painful pace. The pace only hurt a bit before the leaves started falling – now it’s really painful.

The committee has ruled that if you and your playing partners all agree that the ball finished “somewhere on the fairway, round about here” but it looks hopeless – leaves abound, and you are sinking into the mud and somebody has probably stood on the missing ball already. Throw down your trusty mat, place a fresh ball on it, and play on – NO PENALTY. If however, you hit your ball into any trees area and can’t be found in leaves, then, if no provisional ball has been played, no score. Simples…!

If you bang one out of bounds or into the rough where tigers live – then take your medicine like a man – when in doubt, playing a provisional ball should always be the order of the day. The leaves don’t care where they land, fairway or in the bush. Your chances of finding your family heirloom in the rough are somewhat limited. Take out provisional insurance – you know you should. Don’t forget, we should make an extra effort to track each other’s shots, particularly off the tee.

The Autumn league competition is scored over 15 holes only. The designated course is the first 15 holes open on the day (i.e. if hole 13 is closed but all others are open, the competition is played over 1-12, 14-16 for that day). For rounds where there are less than 15 holes open the scores achieved on the day will be pro-rated up to 15 holes (for consistency of recording the player’s league positions in that session).

On the bright side – even on temporary greens, “2”s still count!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow (Thursday 6 November)

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 9 November