Rules quiz

A ball is lost if, after searching for it for one minute, the player declares it to be lost.
A – True
B – False

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Day – Friday 24 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

Well, what a difference a few days make! Gone was the blazing sunshine that had turned the fairways into something resembling the Serengeti, replaced by much cooler conditions that caught more than a few of the Seniors reaching for an extra layer instead of the suncream. Another glorious chapter was written in the history of the Seniors’ fiercely contested “Bottle of Goodman Wine” competition, where pride was on the line and the prize was just enough to keep the winner smiling until the next round.

This week’s star of the show was Ian Smith, who somehow managed to keep the ball on the fairway, avoid the bunkers (mostly), and hole enough putts to claim the coveted bottle of wine. Rumours that Ian had been practising in secret have been denied, although witnesses did report seeing him reading the greens with the intensity of a detective solving a murder.
The rest of the field put up a spirited effort. There were booming drives, miraculous recoveries, and putts that defied both logic and gravity. A few golfers even managed to find parts of the course the greenkeepers didn’t know existed. As always, there was no shortage of advice freely offered after the round – mostly from those who had played considerably worse than Ian. Excuses included the wind, the greens, the bounce, the wrong ball, stiff backs, and one player who claimed his glasses had mysteriously “gone out of focus” on every green.

Congratulations to Ian Smith on a well-deserved victory. We hope the bottle of wine tastes even better than those six-foot putts everyone else left themselves. Better luck to the chasing pack next week – remember, golf is a game where one good round can make you believe anything is possible… until the following Friday!

Results

The weather may have cooled, but Tony Dixon certainly wasn’t. Stepping up to the short 13th armed with nothing more than a trusty 9-iron, Tony produced the shot of the season. The ball took a hop, a skip and a cheeky little jump before disappearing into the hole for a magnificent hole-in-one. Whether it was skill, luck or a quiet word with the golfing gods remains open for debate!

Remember, every hole-in-one starts with someone saying, “I’ll just try and get this somewhere near!” In keeping with golfing tradition, Tony very generously left a bottle of whisky behind the bar for everyone to enjoy. Rumour has it a few members were already congratulating him before he’d even signed his card, purely to make sure they didn’t miss out on a wee dram!

Sixty five long years Tony has been trying for a hole in one, (approximately 13,520 attempts) and on Friday he nearly had two! As if one ace wasn’t enough excitement for the day (Les Williams was very excited), Tony very nearly pulled off the impossible earlier at the 4th. His perfectly struck tee shot on the par 4 finished just eight feet from the hole, leaving everyone wondering if we’d need to start checking his clubs for hidden technology.

(Editor’s note: I’m guessing the AI image below, sent to me by Paul Foster, was created by Steve “too much time on my hands” Barlow.

Happy Mondays Report – 27 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

In the absence of an Inter-Club game today we had a very decent turnout of 21 players who made up one team of 4, five teams of 3 and one of 2.

Scoring was difficult due to a brisk westerly breeze combined with drizzle early on and to make matters worse we had to cope with some fiendish pin locations left over from yesterday’s Men’s Club Championship – think putting uphill from off the green, getting within a foot of the pin and your ball returning to you twice (which I witnessed)

Before announcing the results, I must draw your attention to an incident that occurred near the 13th green. I was in a group following Ken Pearce and Eric Cox. We were waiting for them to putt out when we noticed that only Ken was on the green. Where was Eric? To cut a long story short, Eric’s electric trolley had found its way down the side of Sow Brook and he was trying to retrieve it. Only the thick vegetation on the steep bank prevented both Eric and trolley ending up in the drink.

One of our group went up to find out what was happening and at the same time four members who were having a coffee on the terrace also went over to assist. In the end both Eric and Trolley were hauled up the bank to safety.

I guess the message here is to be careful around any water hazards on the course because your life is more important than a golf trolly. Thankfully our dear friend Eric was relatively unscathed, finished his round and will be with us again next Monday.

Turning to the results, the winning team was that of Pete Broady, Alan Copeland, Mark Pickles (good to see you on a Monday Mark) and Dave Waggitt with an average score of 27.25. Runners up were Colin Chisnall, Alan Thomas and John White with a score of 26.6. Too scorer for the day was Colin Crail with 30 points. Colins’ team which included Mike Bennett and Richard Yates finished third with 26.3.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 30 July – Peter Herrity Trophy

On Friday 14 August we will be playing for the Peter Herrity Trophy. This is an 18-hole stableford competition played off the yellow tees. You should play off your normal handicap for a Friday which is 95% of your course handicap.

There is a £5 fee to enter the competition, and all the funds generated will be donated to our nominated charity. The £5 will be debited from your clubhouse account. Please make sure that you enter the competition on IG any time before teeing off if you are playing in the competition.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 2 August

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: See Definition of Lost. A player may not make a ball lost by a declaration. A ball is lost only when it has not been found within three minutes after the player or their caddie or partner begins to search for it.

Rules quiz

You are a brash, American golfer prone to childish displays of ill-temper. You hit your ball into an area of knee-high fescue. Do you:

1. Stomp about for a bit around your ball so that you can avoid damaging the surrounding grass during the backswing of your next shot
2. Telephone your friend ‘Orange Donald’ and see if he can fix it with the R&A to give you a free drop back on the fairway
3. Pretend you are British and play the ball as it lies without making a fuss

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Summer Get Together – Friday 17 July

Reporter: The Editor

A big thankyou to Mike Kendal for organising our get together last Friday morning. Blessed by excellent weather everyone who attended enjoyed great companionship, variable displays of golfing prowess and an excellent brunch provided by Karen and all the clubhouse team. Thanks also to Keith Melia who worked hard to provide a format which worked well on the day. It was a real bonus to get so many of the Seniors Section together in the same place at the same time.

There was also evidence that you are sometimes rewarded for doing the right thing. Paul Collins, seeing that Alan Ranscombe had been left to play as a ‘one-ball’ (the way Hitler always played golf) stepped up, left his fourball and joined Alan on the tee. Paul and Alan (pictured below) then swept all before them and took the spoils.

Results

Happy Mondays Report – 20 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

A perfect morning greeted 15 players with three teams of 4 and one of 3. Not only perfect weather but, for those of you who stayed up last night to watch the right team win the football World Cup and also (with Tommy not quite making it over the line) a Kiwi (the first since Bob Charles in1962) winning The Open, it turned out to be a great sporting weekend. Add to this, Warrington Wolves beating Hull KR and it doesn’t get much better.

Two teams tied for the win both with 119 points and an average of 29.75. So Alan Copeland, Sammy Lee, Tony Dixon and Phil Lomas tied with Steve Bird, Steve Rowley, Barrie Simpson and Kevin Bocquet. Each winner received a net £1 after deducting their £1 stake. By contrast, Ryan Fox received $3.2 m which should keep the wolf from the door for the next few years.

Tony was top scorer for the day with 35 points. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 23 July

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 26 July

Rules Quiz answer

As all members of the Lymm Golf Club Seniors Section know 3) is the correct answer

Rules quiz

In match play, a player’s correct handicap is 11, but they mistakenly advise their opponent on the first tee that their handicap is 10. After the opponent hits their tee shot, the player realises the mistake. What is the ruling?

A – The player must use the declared lower handicap to calculate the number of strokes the player gives or gets.
B – The player must play the match using a handicap of 11.
C – The player is disqualified.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Gordon Wood Trophy – Friday 10 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

Way back in 1978, the first ever Seniors Trophy appeared – The Gordon Wood Trophy, Gordon was a founder member of the ‘Over Sixties League’ as the seniors’ section was known as in the early days.

In 1982 Gordon Wood died. The following year his widow donated a handsome new replacement trophy to the OSL’s – still in use today. Graham Calder, then OSL leader arranged with the club for a slot to be allocated each year – the trophy match was on the club official Calendar! Now in its 44^th year.

Who thought 18 holes was a good idea? Normally, we sensibly stop after 15 holes. Not this week. Oh no. Someone suggested adding another three holes, and, in a moment of collective sunstroke, everyone agreed. Apparently, the plan was to see whether golf balls or golfers would melt first.

Seniors were back in action, bravely (or perhaps foolishly) taking to the course under what can only be described as Sahara-like conditions, proving once again that age brings wisdom….except when deciding how many holes to play in a heatwave.

The extra holes provided ample opportunity for everyone to perfect the “slow shuffle,” admire the mirages on the fairways, and wonder if the drinks buggy had broken down somewhere in the desert. By the 18th, scorecards had become sweat-soaked works of abstract art, hats had shrunk three sizes, and every patch of shade was fought over with more determination than a three-foot putt to win the trophy. The temperature was somewhere between “stinking hot” and “open the oven and stick your head in.” The fairways were so hard that well-struck drives bounced halfway to the next county. By the 12th hole, conversation had dried up along with the ponds. By the 15th, several members were openly negotiating with passing clouds. By the 18th, every bunker looked like an inviting holiday beach, and more than one player considered lying down in it until September. Did anyone notice Edgar and Alan crow sporting stylish new sunglasses whilst hovering in their usual hunting ground near the 11^th tee?

There was some excellent golf, notably; Mervyn Roberts scoring 23 pointss on the back 9, Mike Pigott playing the back 9 in 2 under par, Pete Broady had a blob (first one this year I believe) and Ron Thornton somehow scoring 9 pts on 2 holes! I seem to remember a few spectacular recoveries around the course, and the occasional ball that probably rolled a little further thanks to the baked fairways than the player would ever admit. As always, the banter remained in top form, even if the golfers themselves were beginning to resemble overcooked roast dinners.

A huge well done to everyone who survived all 18 holes. Whether you conquered the course or simply conquered the heat, you earned your well-deserved cold drink afterwards. Next week’s forecast? We’re all hoping for “slightly less volcanic!”

Results – Gordon wood trophy

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 13 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

Sixteen players turned up today comprising four teams of 3 and one of 4. 

After another weekend of soaring temperatures we were greeted by a welcoming cooling breeze which, unfortunately, only served to envelope the course in the pungent smell of smoke emanating from a number of moorland fires that started overnight. The problem was more prominent on the upper land. 

The general course is now bone dry but the new irrigation system is working well because the greens were in superb condition. The rough is thinning out, albeit, still about two feet high. Ball finding was easy although not always for your own.!! 

The winning team was that of Steve Rowley, Ken Pearce and Steve Bird with an average score of 28.5 very closely followed by Pete Broady, Alan Copeland and Ron Thornton on 28.

Top scorer for the day was Ron Thornton on 31 with Steve Bird and John Booth both on 30.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 16 July

Happy Mondays 3 August – Course closed

Due to course maintenance currently planned for the morning of 3 August there will be no Happy Mondays golf on that date.

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A
Explanation: See Rule 3.2c. If a player declares a wrong handicap and does not correct the mistake before the opponent makes a stroke, if the declared handicap is too low, there is no penalty and the player must use the declared lower handicap to calculate the number of strokes the player gives or gets.

Rules quiz

In determining if your ball is in a penalty area, whether your ball has moved or what caused the ball to move, you must be:
A – 50% certain as to what happened to the ball.
B – 95% certain as to what happened to the ball.
C – 100% certain as to what happened to the ball.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Steven Bird

Only one of the following statements about our Happy Mondays organiser Steve is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. Steve is a classically trained opera singer
2. Steve’s uncle is the former Test Match cricket umpire the late Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird
3. Steve once played football against ex-England striker Trevor Francis

Answer below

Seniors Fun Game (For a bottle of vintage chateaux de Goodman) – Friday 3 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

A short report this week.

Please note:

Twenty players signed up for the competition, only seventeen entered their scores into IG, and just thirteen handed their cards in.

May I remind you all of the club rules concerning this matter:

6.8 Immediately after playing in a competition, all competitors must enter their cards via the IG app and upload a photograph of their scorecard before depositing their original card in the box outside the Professional’s Shop.

Please ensure when uploading a photograph this clearly shows that the card has been signed. Failing to do so can incur a one-week disqualification from club Competitions.

In essence, if you enter the competition, you must enter your scores in IG.

Results

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 6 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

Just 9 players turned up in one team of 4, one of 3 and one of 2. I suspect a combination of England’s victory in the early hours of Monday morning and an 18 hole away day in the Welsh borders on Tuesday probably accounted for the low turnout.

Winners were Kevin Bocquet and Alan Copeland with an average score of 29.5. Runners up were John Booth, Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas with 27. Top scorer for the day was Kevin with 31.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 9 July

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 12 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: Known or virtually certain means more than just possible or probable. It means that either there is conclusive evidence that the event in question happened to the player’s ball, such as when the player or other witnesses saw it happen, or although there is a very small degree of doubt, all reasonably available information shows that it is at least 95% likely that the event in question happened. (See Definition of Known or Virtually Certain)

Find the Fact answer

Fact 3 is correct. Steve played for Walsall FC youth team against Birmingham City youth team when he was 15. He had the dubious pleasure of marking Trevor who, at the age of 16 later that year scored four goals against Bolton Wanderers for the first team and ten years later scored the winning goal for Nottingham Forest in the European Cup Final. Steve’s footballing ambitions ended with that game when he realised he wasn’t going to ‘make it’

Whilst not classically trained to sing opera, Steve did spend a couple of years as a part-time semi-professional classical singer. Dickie Bird is not Steve’s uncle although he did once spend a night at Steve’s house when Steve engaged him as an after-dinner speaker for an Institute of Bankers dinner in Wolverhampton. Dickies fee was a very modest sum and ‘put me up for the night’. Steve had initially approached a former Yorkshire and England fast bowler whose fee was substantially above Steve’s budget!

Rules quiz

If your ball at rest is lifted by a dog, which of the following is true?
A – You must estimate the spot where ball was lifted and place the ball on that spot.
B – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball as near as possible to that spot, no nearer the hole.
C – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball within one club-length of that spot, no nearer the hole.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Game – Fun? Call that fun? – Friday 26 June

Reporter: Paul Foster

A small hardy band of seniors ignored all sensible advice and teed up for this week’s Bottle of Wine competition on what was officially the hottest day of the year. The sunshine also prompted the annual unveiling of the seniors’ summer wardrobe. There was an impressive collection of brightly coloured questionable fashionable shorts, accompanied by milk bottle legs poking out of the bottom. Whether they came for the golf or simply to avoid the gardening remains open to debate. With temperatures soaring, the fairways resembled the Serengeti, the greens were quicker than the bar queue after the round, and finding shade became almost as important as finding the fairway. Water bottles were in greater demand than drivers, and several players were heard claiming their golf balls had started to melt. The tropical conditions produced some distinctly average golf, maybe the heat could explain a few wayward drives (mine), missed putts and the occasional “selective” memory when it came to counting strokes. As always, excuses were plentiful and became more imaginative as the morning wore on. Fortunately, one player managed to keep both their head and their swing cool enough to emerge victorious and claim the much-coveted bottle of wine. A well-deserved congratulations to our winner Paul Collins, who now has the perfect accompaniment to rehydrate after 15 holes in the blazing sunshine. Well done to everyone who survived the heat, completed the course, and made it safely back to the clubhouse. Normal British summer weather, and the accompanying complaints about rain, are expected to resume shortly. In the meantime, members are reminded that suncream is cheaper than Aloe Vera, and that white legs are best introduced to the sun gradually!

Results

Seniors Get Together – Shotgun start, subsidised meal and prizes! – Friday 17 July

No booking schedule for tomorrow evening this week as we have a special treat lined up for you. All paid up members of the seniors’ section are invited to take part in a Seniors Golfing Get Together on Friday 17 July.

The event will be a fifteen-hole team competition (details of the format in next week’s newsletter). There will be a shotgun start at 9.00 a.m. (to be confirmed) with the intention of getting the teams back together in the clubhouse for some post-round analysis by around noon. The entry of just £10 includes brunch after your round, together with high-quality prizes for the top two teams. Your entry fee allows for a £5 subsidy from Seniors’ funds. The cash will be debited from your club account before the event, with refunds for cancellation only possible by close of play on Wednesday 15 July.

Please register your interest by the closing date of Monday 13 July by sending an email to Mike Kendall (kendallymmgolf@gmail.com or by messaging him on IG. A sign-up sheet will also be pinned to the Seniors noticeboard as soon as this newsletter goes live.

There is a limit of 44 players so it will be first come first served. Book early to avoid disappointment!

Teams will be drawn at random, and you will be advised of your playing partners and starting hole in advance of the day. No team switching will be allowed!

Happy Mondays Report – 29 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

After sweltering weather in recent days a welcome return to near perfect golfing conditions with hazy sunshine and a cooling breeze.

Sixteen players turned up to play – two teams of 4, one of 3, two of 2 and one player who made up a team of three with two (not paid up) Seniors. Needless to say the latter card was ineligible which was a pity because our guy scored 37 points!

One of the teams of two did not complete the requisite 15 holes. 

Of the ‘survivors’ the winners were Steve Barlow and Barrie Simpson who averaged 30.5

Runners up were Mike Bennett, Andrew Cox, Colin Crail and Richard Yates with an average of 26.5.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 5 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: If it is known or virtually certain that an outside influence (including a dog) lifted or moved a player’s ball at rest, there is no penalty, and the ball must be replaced on its original spot (which if not known must be estimated). (See Rule 9.6)