Rules quiz

In match play, a player’s correct handicap is 11, but they mistakenly advise their opponent on the first tee that their handicap is 10. After the opponent hits their tee shot, the player realises the mistake. What is the ruling?

A – The player must use the declared lower handicap to calculate the number of strokes the player gives or gets.
B – The player must play the match using a handicap of 11.
C – The player is disqualified.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Gordon Wood Trophy – Friday 10 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

Way back in 1978, the first ever Seniors Trophy appeared – The Gordon Wood Trophy, Gordon was a founder member of the ‘Over Sixties League’ as the seniors’ section was known as in the early days.

In 1982 Gordon Wood died. The following year his widow donated a handsome new replacement trophy to the OSL’s – still in use today. Graham Calder, then OSL leader arranged with the club for a slot to be allocated each year – the trophy match was on the club official Calendar! Now in its 44^th year.

Who thought 18 holes was a good idea? Normally, we sensibly stop after 15 holes. Not this week. Oh no. Someone suggested adding another three holes, and, in a moment of collective sunstroke, everyone agreed. Apparently, the plan was to see whether golf balls or golfers would melt first.

Seniors were back in action, bravely (or perhaps foolishly) taking to the course under what can only be described as Sahara-like conditions, proving once again that age brings wisdom….except when deciding how many holes to play in a heatwave.

The extra holes provided ample opportunity for everyone to perfect the “slow shuffle,” admire the mirages on the fairways, and wonder if the drinks buggy had broken down somewhere in the desert. By the 18th, scorecards had become sweat-soaked works of abstract art, hats had shrunk three sizes, and every patch of shade was fought over with more determination than a three-foot putt to win the trophy. The temperature was somewhere between “stinking hot” and “open the oven and stick your head in.” The fairways were so hard that well-struck drives bounced halfway to the next county. By the 12th hole, conversation had dried up along with the ponds. By the 15th, several members were openly negotiating with passing clouds. By the 18th, every bunker looked like an inviting holiday beach, and more than one player considered lying down in it until September. Did anyone notice Edgar and Alan crow sporting stylish new sunglasses whilst hovering in their usual hunting ground near the 11^th tee?

There was some excellent golf, notably; Mervyn Roberts scoring 23 pointss on the back 9, Mike Pigott playing the back 9 in 2 under par, Pete Broady had a blob (first one this year I believe) and Ron Thornton somehow scoring 9 pts on 2 holes! I seem to remember a few spectacular recoveries around the course, and the occasional ball that probably rolled a little further thanks to the baked fairways than the player would ever admit. As always, the banter remained in top form, even if the golfers themselves were beginning to resemble overcooked roast dinners.

A huge well done to everyone who survived all 18 holes. Whether you conquered the course or simply conquered the heat, you earned your well-deserved cold drink afterwards. Next week’s forecast? We’re all hoping for “slightly less volcanic!”

Results – Gordon wood trophy

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 13 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

Sixteen players turned up today comprising four teams of 3 and one of 4. 

After another weekend of soaring temperatures we were greeted by a welcoming cooling breeze which, unfortunately, only served to envelope the course in the pungent smell of smoke emanating from a number of moorland fires that started overnight. The problem was more prominent on the upper land. 

The general course is now bone dry but the new irrigation system is working well because the greens were in superb condition. The rough is thinning out, albeit, still about two feet high. Ball finding was easy although not always for your own.!! 

The winning team was that of Steve Rowley, Ken Pearce and Steve Bird with an average score of 28.5 very closely followed by Pete Broady, Alan Copeland and Ron Thornton on 28.

Top scorer for the day was Ron Thornton on 31 with Steve Bird and John Booth both on 30.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 16 July

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 19 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A
Explanation: See Rule 3.2c. If a player declares a wrong handicap and does not correct the mistake before the opponent makes a stroke, if the declared handicap is too low, there is no penalty and the player must use the declared lower handicap to calculate the number of strokes the player gives or gets.

Rules quiz

In determining if your ball is in a penalty area, whether your ball has moved or what caused the ball to move, you must be:
A – 50% certain as to what happened to the ball.
B – 95% certain as to what happened to the ball.
C – 100% certain as to what happened to the ball.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Steven Bird

Only one of the following statements about our Happy Mondays organiser Steve is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. Steve is a classically trained opera singer
2. Steve’s uncle is the former Test Match cricket umpire the late Harold ‘Dickie’ Bird
3. Steve once played football against ex-England striker Trevor Francis

Answer below

Seniors Fun Game (For a bottle of vintage chateaux de Goodman) – Friday 3 July

Reporter: Paul Foster

A short report this week.

Please note:

Twenty players signed up for the competition, only seventeen entered their scores into IG, and just thirteen handed their cards in.

May I remind you all of the club rules concerning this matter:

6.8 Immediately after playing in a competition, all competitors must enter their cards via the IG app and upload a photograph of their scorecard before depositing their original card in the box outside the Professional’s Shop.

Please ensure when uploading a photograph this clearly shows that the card has been signed. Failing to do so can incur a one-week disqualification from club Competitions.

In essence, if you enter the competition, you must enter your scores in IG.

Results

Happy Mondays Report – Monday 6 July

Reporter: Steve Bird

Just 9 players turned up in one team of 4, one of 3 and one of 2. I suspect a combination of England’s victory in the early hours of Monday morning and an 18 hole away day in the Welsh borders on Tuesday probably accounted for the low turnout.

Winners were Kevin Bocquet and Alan Copeland with an average score of 29.5. Runners up were John Booth, Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas with 27. Top scorer for the day was Kevin with 31.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 9 July

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 12 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: Known or virtually certain means more than just possible or probable. It means that either there is conclusive evidence that the event in question happened to the player’s ball, such as when the player or other witnesses saw it happen, or although there is a very small degree of doubt, all reasonably available information shows that it is at least 95% likely that the event in question happened. (See Definition of Known or Virtually Certain)

Find the Fact answer

Fact 3 is correct. Steve played for Walsall FC youth team against Birmingham City youth team when he was 15. He had the dubious pleasure of marking Trevor who, at the age of 16 later that year scored four goals against Bolton Wanderers for the first team and ten years later scored the winning goal for Nottingham Forest in the European Cup Final. Steve’s footballing ambitions ended with that game when he realised he wasn’t going to ‘make it’

Whilst not classically trained to sing opera, Steve did spend a couple of years as a part-time semi-professional classical singer. Dickie Bird is not Steve’s uncle although he did once spend a night at Steve’s house when Steve engaged him as an after-dinner speaker for an Institute of Bankers dinner in Wolverhampton. Dickies fee was a very modest sum and ‘put me up for the night’. Steve had initially approached a former Yorkshire and England fast bowler whose fee was substantially above Steve’s budget!

Rules quiz

If your ball at rest is lifted by a dog, which of the following is true?
A – You must estimate the spot where ball was lifted and place the ball on that spot.
B – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball as near as possible to that spot, no nearer the hole.
C – You must estimate the spot where the ball was lifted and drop the ball within one club-length of that spot, no nearer the hole.

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Game – Fun? Call that fun? – Friday 26 June

Reporter: Paul Foster

A small hardy band of seniors ignored all sensible advice and teed up for this week’s Bottle of Wine competition on what was officially the hottest day of the year. The sunshine also prompted the annual unveiling of the seniors’ summer wardrobe. There was an impressive collection of brightly coloured questionable fashionable shorts, accompanied by milk bottle legs poking out of the bottom. Whether they came for the golf or simply to avoid the gardening remains open to debate. With temperatures soaring, the fairways resembled the Serengeti, the greens were quicker than the bar queue after the round, and finding shade became almost as important as finding the fairway. Water bottles were in greater demand than drivers, and several players were heard claiming their golf balls had started to melt. The tropical conditions produced some distinctly average golf, maybe the heat could explain a few wayward drives (mine), missed putts and the occasional “selective” memory when it came to counting strokes. As always, excuses were plentiful and became more imaginative as the morning wore on. Fortunately, one player managed to keep both their head and their swing cool enough to emerge victorious and claim the much-coveted bottle of wine. A well-deserved congratulations to our winner Paul Collins, who now has the perfect accompaniment to rehydrate after 15 holes in the blazing sunshine. Well done to everyone who survived the heat, completed the course, and made it safely back to the clubhouse. Normal British summer weather, and the accompanying complaints about rain, are expected to resume shortly. In the meantime, members are reminded that suncream is cheaper than Aloe Vera, and that white legs are best introduced to the sun gradually!

Results

Seniors Get Together – Shotgun start, subsidised meal and prizes! – Friday 17 July

No booking schedule for tomorrow evening this week as we have a special treat lined up for you. All paid up members of the seniors’ section are invited to take part in a Seniors Golfing Get Together on Friday 17 July.

The event will be a fifteen-hole team competition (details of the format in next week’s newsletter). There will be a shotgun start at 9.00 a.m. (to be confirmed) with the intention of getting the teams back together in the clubhouse for some post-round analysis by around noon. The entry of just £10 includes brunch after your round, together with high-quality prizes for the top two teams. Your entry fee allows for a £5 subsidy from Seniors’ funds. The cash will be debited from your club account before the event, with refunds for cancellation only possible by close of play on Wednesday 15 July.

Please register your interest by the closing date of Monday 13 July by sending an email to Mike Kendall (kendallymmgolf@gmail.com or by messaging him on IG. A sign-up sheet will also be pinned to the Seniors noticeboard as soon as this newsletter goes live.

There is a limit of 44 players so it will be first come first served. Book early to avoid disappointment!

Teams will be drawn at random, and you will be advised of your playing partners and starting hole in advance of the day. No team switching will be allowed!

Happy Mondays Report – 29 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

After sweltering weather in recent days a welcome return to near perfect golfing conditions with hazy sunshine and a cooling breeze.

Sixteen players turned up to play – two teams of 4, one of 3, two of 2 and one player who made up a team of three with two (not paid up) Seniors. Needless to say the latter card was ineligible which was a pity because our guy scored 37 points!

One of the teams of two did not complete the requisite 15 holes. 

Of the ‘survivors’ the winners were Steve Barlow and Barrie Simpson who averaged 30.5

Runners up were Mike Bennett, Andrew Cox, Colin Crail and Richard Yates with an average of 26.5.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 5 July

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: If it is known or virtually certain that an outside influence (including a dog) lifted or moved a player’s ball at rest, there is no penalty, and the ball must be replaced on its original spot (which if not known must be estimated). (See Rule 9.6)

Rules quiz

When taking relief from an abnormal course condition in the general area, the ball must be dropped in:
A – A relief area of one club-length and can roll up to two club-lengths.
B – A relief area of one club-length and must come to rest within the relief area.
C – A relief area of two club-lengths and must come to rest within the relief area

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Summer League – Round 10

Reporter: Steve Bird

Our Handicap Secretary Paul Foster is now back in Blighty and Friday found him in North Norfolk where I believe he frequented the Sandringham Estate and went catching crabs in Cromer. He avoided bumping into AM-W (the one who doesn’t sweat but regularly visits Pizza Express in Woking) but remarkably when catching a bus in the back of beyond unbelievably met our very own Stuart Baird – what are the odds on that?

Friday was a lovely day and after a false start a few weeks ago could it be that summer is finally here?

Thirty five competitors took part and the results were as follows :

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Four players scored 2’s, Russ Jones on the 5th and Koos Alders, George Clark and Martin Franks all on the 13th. Please see Mervyn to claim your sleeve of Dunlop 65’s.

So, the results of the Summer league are in. Please see the results table below for the final standings. Hearty congratulations to Martin Franks for his fantastic performance in week 10 which catapulted him into first position in division 1 and to Steve Bird and Alan Copeland the worthy joint winners of division 2. Our treasurer will remit the winnings to all those placed in the top 2 of both divisions and the winners will receive their trophies at the AGM.

Summer League – Final Results

Division 1

Division 2

Please access the full updated league tables from the link below:

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 22 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

A fine sunny morning greeted 15 players composed of one team of 4, three of 3 and one of 2. One team didn’t complete the full 15 holes for totally the opposite reason why a team didn’t make the full 15 only three weeks ago. Then it was torrential rain, today it was the heat – sums up our British weather!

With the course playing to proper summer conditions and plenty of roll on the ball there were some impressive scores. 

The winning team with an average score of 30.3 was Pete Broady (who is on a ‘streak’ following his win on Saturday), Steve Gosling and Peter Willson. 

Runners up were Steve Bird and Alan Copeland with a score of 29.5. Top scorers for the day were the two Alans, Copeland and Thomas both with 34 points. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 25 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 28 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer B. Explanation: If a player’s ball is in the general area and there is interference by an abnormal course condition on the course, the player may take free relief by dropping a ball in a one club-length relief area measured from the nearest point of complete relief in the general area, and not nearer the hole. (See Rule 16.1b) A player has completed taking relief when the ball is dropped in the right way andcomes to rest in the relief area. (See Rule 14.3c(1))

Rules quiz

In stroke play, a player’s ball comes to rest on a gravel surfaced road. They decide to play the ball as it lies, but before doing so they remove some gravel that was interfering with the stroke. What is the ruling?
A – There is no penalty.
B – The player gets one penalty stroke.
C – The player gets two penalty strokes

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Seniors Fun Day for a bottle of The Wine Society’s finest ‘Chateaux de Goodman’

Reporter: Paul Foster

Short report today, nineteen players took to the fairways, of which fourteen finished (well, handed their cards in and completed their scores on IG). Just three members equalled par, and none beat it

Just the one 2 scored today, Mike Pigott.

Top of the pile was Peter Broady in a CPO from Bob Ellison and Steve Barlow.

Winner – Peter Broady with 30 points on a CPO

Runner up – Bob Ellison with 30 points

The league tables are now updated (see link below), ready for the final round of the summer league next week.

All eyes are on:

Steve Barlow, Michael John & Martin Franks in the 1^st division. Stephen Bird, Alan Copeland & Art Laird in the 2^nd division

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 15 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

Just about a perfect morning for golf weather wise – dry, sunny but not too bright and a very gentle breeze. Fifteen players took part making up one team of 4, three of 3 and one of 2.

The winners were Steve Gosling, Ken Pearce and Steve Bird with a combined average of 28.3. 

Runners up were Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Richard Yates with a score of 26.

Joint top individual scorers were Steve Gosling and Phil Lomas with 31 points each. Steve had a 2 on the 13th.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 18 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 21 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer A. Explanation: See Clarification of Loose Impediment/4. Gravel is a loose impediment and a player may remove loose impediments without penalty anywhere on the course under Rule 15.1

Seniors League – Round 9

Reporter: Stephen Bird

You will recall a few weeks ago that your results were finalised from underneath the Eiffel Tower. Well this week your intrepid Handicap Secretary, Paul Foster, has finalised last Friday’s results from a beach in Mallorca !! I caught up with him before his first cerveza of the day although I suspect San Miguel or Estrella Damm would not be high on the list of Paul’s favourite beers. 

Friday dawned quite bright but with a chill wind. I started in polo shirt and shorts but by the 3rd had donned my all weather top. Not great for June although the recent rains had the course looking in great condition. 

One or two admin matters. We had a card submitted for a club member who is not a member of Seniors!! 

He appears on the results table and I leave you to fathom out who is the mystery man. 

And on Saturday morning I had to take a stroll down to the Clubhouse to try and find a card for one of our band who had entered his score on IG but had placed his card in the box that’s sits behind our own, where it lay overnight. I shall not name the player but he finished high up the leader board. 

Three 2’s recorded – Eric Cox, Tommy Lawless and Richard Smyllie. 

Results:

Div 1:
Michael John 33 on CPO
Martin Frank’s 33
Steve Barlow 32

Div 2:
Mike Kendal  34
Les Williams 32 on CPO
Phil Ormesher 32

With one round to go there are quite a few potential winners in both divisions and Paul will update the league tables upon his return to the UK and well before the start of Round 10 in order that you can all see what your target score should be on the last day of competition.

Happy Mondays Report – 8 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

The heavy rain forecast for starting times did not come to fruition as the main belt of rain had already passed us by although we had a sharp shower mid-morning.

Twelve players took part in one team of 4, two of 3 and one of 2.

The leading three teams could not have finished closer with scores of 27.66, 27.5 and 27.25 respectively. 

The winners were Steve Bird, Alan Copeland and Eric Cox with runners up Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas. 

Top scorer for the day with 32 points was yours truly which included a 5 pointer on the 6th (gross 4 with two shots received) my first birdie on this hole since becoming a member two and a half years ago. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 11 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 14 June

Rules quiz

A player makes a practice swing and accidentally moves their ball in the semi-rough with the club. What is the ruling?

1. There is no penalty but the player must replace the ball.
2. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball.
3. There is no penalty, but the practice swing counts as a stroke and the ball must be played as it lies.

(Editor’s note: This happened to one of the Lymm seniors quite recently who will remain nameless. And now for today’s anagram: “older ass ok”.)

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Pete Broady

Only one of the following statements about Pete is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first level was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst a further 1,000 hens on the lower floor
2. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing in a pigsty on the lower floor
3. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The wooden floor on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst 20 bemused cows on the lower floor

Answer below

Summer League – Round 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another perfect late spring day greeted the seniors summer league round 8 competitors. Considerably cooler than of late with a gentle breeze that swept across the course, just enough for some of our more nesh members to reach for an extra layer, while others stubbornly persisted with the now traditional silly shorts with legs on view that haven’t seen daylight since last August. The course is now becoming a sight to behold now that the recent top dressing has disappeared. Trees are in full green splendour, the striped fairways looking superb (although I failed to hit any of them), greens running true, if still a touch slow for my liking, though perhaps that spared a few blushes on downhill putts. Adding to the day’s entertainment were two families of Canadian geese wandering unrestrained around the course keeping members alert and occasionally questioning who actually had right of way. One particularly relaxed Mrs Goose on the 1st fairway seemed entirely unimpressed by Phil Ormesher’s ball skimming her eyebrows.

A healthy field of forty members took to the course with a very credible thirteen players playing to par or better. Further evidence that retirement, moderate exercise and selective hearing are the perfect recipe for golfing success. Life is clearly treating the seniors very well on afternoons like this. Meanwhile, the Friday wine club were in excellent form out on the patio, bravely soldiering on despite the absence of the mercurial Art Laird. Spirits remained high, glasses remained full, and by mid-afternoon, several members were confidently explaining how they had “left at least five shots out there”. Special mention must also go to Steve Bird, recently armed with two working eyes after recent laser treatment, now proudly claiming he can finally see his golf ball again. (Editor’s note: “armed with two eyes”???). Unfortunately, the improved vision has merely confirmed that most of his drives really were heading towards the trees all along. Still, the good news is Steve will never again have to ask, “did anyone see where that finished?” We’ll see (no pun intended).
As most will note, Ian Goodman is collecting top three finishes like loyalty points – Pete Broady might have to hand over the ‘Mr Boringly Consistent’ title before the season is out!

Five 2s scored today, Paddy Moran, Martin Franks, Michael John, Paul Collins & Joe Priestner. Please collect your sleeve of balls from Mervyn.

• One card missing, but Ig completed.
• Please don’t forget to pre-register on ig for all seniors’ rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

With just two rounds of the summer league still to play, the first division leader is still Steve ‘the actor’ Barlow, but his mammoth lead has been cut to just four points by Michael John.
In the second division Steve ‘two eyes’ Bird still holds a one point lead over Art Laird and Alan Copeland. GAME ON!

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 1 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

The weather forecast said ‘Heavy Rain’ between 8 and 10 am followed by light showers. However, the total opposite was the case with no rain at all until 11 am and then a deluge. 

Thirteen hardy souls started their rounds with one team of 4 and three of 3. Unfortunately, like Scott’s last expedition to Antarctica they didn’t all make it back. For Scott, Wilson and Oates read Barlow, Rowley and Lambert who decided to call it quits after 12 holes (and who can blame them as they were the last group out and had the worst of the weather) but, to their credit, they put their pounds in the pot like true gentlemen. I can confirm that when my soggy group arrived in the clubhouse the aforementioned were having a hot drink albeit their huskies were outside.

The winning team with a creditable average of 28 points were Messrs Broady, Copeland and Hill with runners up Bird, Chisnall, Cox and Craggs on 26.5.

Gallant Bronze medallists were Bocquet, Bramall and Dixon on 24.3.

Messrs Broady and Copeland each top scored with 29 points. 

Point of Admin – the main holiday season is approaching and I am getting many very helpful messages informing me when participants are away in order that I can exclude them from the rosters. This is genuinely appreciated and I apologise in advance if I include you when you have told me you are away. It’s called getting old!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 4 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 7 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 2). Explanation: See Rule 9.4b and Definition of Stroke. If a player causes their ball to move they get one penalty stroke and the ball must be replaced. As there was no intention to strike the ball, the practice swing does not count as a stroke.

Answer to today’s anagram: Koos Alders

Find the Fact answer

Statement 2) is true. Pete worked, before and after school, at Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane. The floor around the water standpipe on the upper level of the farm building containing the hens had become rotten over the years. Pete fell through the floor and in an amazing piece of good fortune fell into a warm lake of pig waste which had been accumulating since the early years of the twentieth century. Some people have all the luck!

Rules quiz

A player may repair natural wear of the hole on the putting green before putting

1. True
2. False

Answer at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Andy Timms

Only one of the following statements about our immediate past Captain is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Andy is a keen cook and has over 74 recipe books in 3 different languages. Andy has calculated (for reasons best known to himself) that if he cooked one recipe per day it would take over 34 years to work his way through his collection
2. Andy is a FA qualified coach. During his time as Coach and Chairman of Urmston Meadowside the club won the FA Charter Standard Club of the Year twice
3. During his time as Captain of Lymm last year Andy played golf 163 times on 53 courses, in three countries with over 200 people

Answer below

Summer League – Round 7

Reporter: Paul Foster

Under a sky so blue it looked photoshopped, the Seniors assembled for another glorious late-spring round — part golf competition, part textile experiment.

The fairways were immaculate, the greens deceptively unreadable, and the dress code apparently interpreted as “wear the shortest shorts medically advisable”. Several players arrived looking less like golfers and more like retired cruise entertainers or auditioners for ‘It ain’t half hot mum’. Scoring proved far less cheerful than the weather. Despite ideal conditions and a breeze gentler than a clubhouse handshake, only three brave souls managed to better par. The rest spent the afternoon demonstrating increasingly creative methods of leaving putts short, long, left or right. The rough was busy, the bunkers overworked, and one unfortunate duck on the 12th may file a complaint to the club committee after being buzzed twice by low-flying Titleist balls. Edgar Crowe was repeatedly spotted unzipping golf bags in search of “bootie” on the second hole. Whether he was searching for a tasty snack, an ‘on view’ banana, some contraband confectionery, or something far more suspicious remains unclear. We witnessed Edgar conducting “full investigations” on three of our four trolleys (the smell of engine oil on Ron’s groovy machine seemed to put Edgar off searching his bag). At the halfway hut, cold drinks disappeared faster than stableford points, while several competitors claimed their games were “just about coming together” moments before recording triple bogeys on holes 10 and 11. Highlight of the day belonged to Mike Kendall on the 14th, whose majestic drive travelled approximately 240 yards — sideways. Applause was generous nonetheless, mainly because it avoided all trees, the four ball in front, the four ball in front of them, the four ball on the 16th and a fairway bunker to end its epic journey smack in the middle of the 15th.fairway. In total 12 players ducked after hearing a thunderous “Fore” from our direction.

As the sun dipped and scorecards were examined with the seriousness of international treaty documents, the consensus was unanimous: glorious weather, dreadful golf, exceptional entertainment. And somewhere in the clubhouse car park, Edgar was still checking bags for bootie.

• Two 2s scored today, Steve Barlow and Charlie Hill
• Two cards missing, but IG completed.
• One card handed in but not completed in IG
• Please don’t forget to pre-register in IG for all senior rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

As the summer league enters the final stretch, the first division leader is Steve Barlow, who has a commanding lead of 9 points from Michael John, and in the second division, Steve Bird leads Art Laird by 1 point

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report

No report this week as Monday was a gloriously sunny bank holiday.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 28 May

PLEASE NOTE: There will be a Bottle of Wine competition on the 12th of June as there is a match against Northenden on that day. As the team has yet to be finalised at the time of writing you may end up in the team but also appear on the schedule below. If you are selected in the team to play Northenden, and you appear in the schedule below, can you please cancel yourself off the tee booking once it is on IG. If you are in the team and flagged as a tee booker, could you please ensure another member of your group makes the booking on Thursday evening. The tee time of 9.18 a.m. has deliberately been left blank to speed up play in the Interclub match, please do not book yourselves into that tee time. You may see seniors who are in the team against Northenden take that booking just to protect the tee time.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 31 May

Non golf related trivia

Three ‘interesting’ pieces of trivia:

1. Leonardo DA Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint the Mona Lisa’s lips
2. Blue is the favourite colour of 80 percent of Americans
3. The average four-year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 2) False. Explanation: See Rule 13.1c. A player may repair damage on the putting green without penalty, however “damage on the putting green” does not include any damage or conditions that result from natural wear of the hole.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 1. is correct. Answer 2 is correct other than that Andy was Secretary of Urmston Meadowside rather than Chairman. Answer 3 is also almost correct, Andy played in four different countries during his year as Captain of Lymm Golf Club.

Rules quiz

In a stroke-play competition, players A, B and C were drawn by the Committee to play together starting at 9.00am. A and B were ready to play at the appointed time. Due to bad traffic, player C arrived at 9.02am after A and B had teed off but just in time to play in the correct order. What is the ruling?

1. There is no penalty.
2. Player C is disqualified.
3. Player C gets two penalty strokes

Answer is at the end of this newsletter

Summer League – Round 6

Reporter: Steve Bird

Question. Is this the first time that your Friday results have been finalised from under the Eiffel Tower?

Probably, I would guess. The reason being that Monsieur Foster continues his ‘vacances’ in northern France and today (Friday) he reached gay Paris. There is no truth that he parked his mobile home under the Arch de Triomphe in the middle of the Place de L”Etoile. So full marks to Paul for giving up his holiday time to help collate the results.

Whilst the weather was very bright and sunny there was a biting wind and scores were consequently a lot lower than last week with only one player, out of 41, playing to net par.

There were 2 twos scored by Duncan Clarke and Barry McGuigan (please see Mervyn our treasurer for your sleeve of balls).  Division One – all three players scored 29 points and places were decided by CPO

Results

Division 1

Division 2

The leader boards will be brought fully up to date on Mr Foster’s return to Blighty.

Happy Mondays Report – 18 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

Once again the weather conspired with.our Inter Club Match to leave a very depleted field.

Only 3 teams of three

Winners – Steve Barlow, Alan Copeland and Colin Crail with an average of 25.6 points

Second – Steve Bird, Tony Dixon and Dave Waggitt 22.3

Third – Colin Chisnall, Alan Thomas and Eric Cox 20.6

Top scorers for the day Messrs Copeland and Crail with 26 each. 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 21 May

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 24 May

Non golf related trivia

1. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
2. Mosquito repellents don’t repel, they hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.
3. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

Rules Quiz answer

Option 3 is the correct answer. Explanation: See Rule 5.3a. As C arrived and was ready to play no more than five minutes late, instead of being disqualified, player C gets two penalty strokes for failure to be ready to play at the appointed start time

Rules Quiz

Tatton League – 2nd Round – Thursday 7 May

Reporter: Mike Pigott

The second round of the Tatton League was played at High Legh Golf Club on a cool breezy morning. The course was in reasonable condition with the greens having undergone their Spring treatment, still a bit slow with the presence of sand. The course played very long off the white tees, on the 18th there were 78 paces from the back tee to the yellow tee making the course very demanding. This showed in some of the scoring.

Lymm were winners on the day with 42 points from Martin Franks and Steve Gosling, 40 points from Ian Whitehead and Russ Jones, 38 points from Mike Pigott and Richard Cooper and 36 points from Andy Timms and Mark Pickles (this was later reduced to 35 points due to a clerical error on the scoring – lesson learnt!). Lymm total of 155 for the day was six better than second placed Heyrose and twenty shots better than the overall leaders Antrobus. This now gives Lymm a 15 point lead overall after two games.

A special mention to Martin Franks and Steve Gosling as they won the best score of the day and to Mark Pickles for nearest the pin on the 9th hole.

Summer League – Round 5 Friday 8 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

Firstly, your usual scribe is currently ‘on the continent’ and when he massaged (Editor’s note: I really hope that’s a typo!) me on Sunday, he was on Sword Beach, Normandy no doubt with his binoculars looking for any remaining Boche and then seeking out local beers – or is it cidre in that locality? Needless to say, I shall not be waxing lyrically in the style of PF – no point trying to compete with greatness.

The WhatsApp Group of your Committee was very hot last Thursday when Keith reminded members they had to vacate the course by 12:45 on the following day. It became apparent that the later starting groups would probably not complete 15 holes and various solutions were discussed – in the end the decision was taken to round up pro rata the scores for any players not completing the full 15.

Some of the published scores you see on the Clubs web page will not correlate in respect of the few individuals whose scores were rounded up i.e. they will be less than the rounded up scores.

There were five ‘twos’ scored, namely Mike Bennett, Duncan Clarke, Martin Franks, Michael John and Russ Jones.

Scores in Division 1 were impressive with two players scoring 33 not making the podium. Only one player broke net par in Division 2.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

The leader boards will be updated on Mr Foster’s return from his jollies.

IMPORTANT REMINDER – Registering your round and entering your scores onto IG

Please remember that you now need to register your round on IG and enter your scores onto IG on completion of your round for all Senior competitions. One senior from division 2 had to be disqualified having finished in third in last Friday’s Summer League round as his card was not entered onto IG after the round. Please see the following extract from an email sent to all members from the Handicap and Competition Sub-Committee on 6 May:

Immediately after playing in a competition, all competitors must enter their cards via the IG app and upload a photograph of their scorecard before depositing their original card in the box outside the Professional’s Shop. Please ensure when uploading a photograph this clearly shows that the card has been signed. If this carries on (cards not being entered), we will have to bring in a one Competition ban, for all those that do not follow the above rule.  If you are having an issue with completing the task, then please speak to the Professional’s shop and they will be happy to help you.

Happy Mondays Report – 11 May

Reporter: Steve Bird

A combination of the rain and our match against Bramhall meant that only 12 hardy souls turned out in four teams of three.

Ironically, by 9 am, we were playing in glorious sunshine on lush green fairways.

The winning team was that of Tony Dixon, Ken Pearce and Richard Yates with an average score of 25

Runners up were Steve Barlow, Steve Rowley and Dave Waggitt with a score of 23.3

Top scorer for the day was Ken Pearce with 28

Can I add a personal thank you to Tony Dixon who found my specs somewhere on the eighth hole. They has been perched on top of my cap and I hadn’t noticed they were missing until the 10th!! 

Interclub match v Bramhall – Monday 11 May

Author: John Armstrong (Captain of the Day)

Lymm beat Bramhall – 5.5 to 2.5

There were wins for:

• J Armstrong & Ian Whitehead.
• B McGuigan & P Ormesher
• A Timms & S Baird
• D Craggs & J Woodward
• G Brickell & B Ellison

Match halved:

• A Laird & M Lyons

2nd Place for

• S Lee & B Simpson
• P Perry & P Willson.

The food was excellent a bacon butty on arrival with tea or coffee, steak and mushroom pie, after the match

Local Rules

I am sure most of you will have read Keith Melia’s Friday update of 8th May. For those that missed it there was a helpful link to the Temporary Local Rules list. Please click on this link if you need to bring yourself up to speed.

Lymm Visitor

Author: Barry Smith

This morning (May the 8th) on the 4th hole, I got a birdie, well a picture of a birdie, an exotic birdie at that!

The Egyptian Goose!

Scientific name: Alopochen aegyptiaca

Apparently Egyptian geese aren’t true geese, they’re members of the shelduck sub-family, Tadorninae. They are naturally found in Africa, in the Nile valley and south of the Sahara. They were introduced to Great Britain to be kept in wildfowl collections, and are usually found in south-central England, East Anglia, and the East Midlands, so this one might be lost. Egyptian Geese are said to be noisy and quarrelsome, with aggressive behaviour which has ruled them out of some collections, therefore they might well be a good fit for Lymm Seniors!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 14 May

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 17 May

Non golf related trivia

Three interesting pieces of trivia to share with your loved ones over tonight’s evening meal:

1. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head
2. 40 percent of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals
3. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 1. Explanation: A spider web is a loose impediment even though they are attached to another object and may be removed. (See Definition of Loose Impediments and Rule 15)