Rules quiz

A player makes a practice swing and accidentally moves their ball in the semi-rough with the club. What is the ruling?

1. There is no penalty but the player must replace the ball.
2. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball.
3. There is no penalty, but the practice swing counts as a stroke and the ball must be played as it lies.

(Editor’s note: This happened to one of the Lymm seniors quite recently who will remain nameless. And now for today’s anagram: “older ass ok”.)

Answers at the end of this newsletter

Find the Fact – Pete Broady

Only one of the following statements about Pete is correct. The other two are false. Can you pick out the true fact?

1. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first level was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst a further 1,000 hens on the lower floor
2. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The flooring on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing in a pigsty on the lower floor
3. While working on Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane Pete entered a two-storey farm building containing 1,000 hens on the first floor. The wooden floor on the first floor was rotten. Pete fell through the floor landing amongst 20 bemused cows on the lower floor

Answer below

Summer League – Round 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another perfect late spring day greeted the seniors summer league round 8 competitors. Considerably cooler than of late with a gentle breeze that swept across the course, just enough for some of our more nesh members to reach for an extra layer, while others stubbornly persisted with the now traditional silly shorts with legs on view that haven’t seen daylight since last August. The course is now becoming a sight to behold now that the recent top dressing has disappeared. Trees are in full green splendour, the striped fairways looking superb (although I failed to hit any of them), greens running true, if still a touch slow for my liking, though perhaps that spared a few blushes on downhill putts. Adding to the day’s entertainment were two families of Canadian geese wandering unrestrained around the course keeping members alert and occasionally questioning who actually had right of way. One particularly relaxed Mrs Goose on the 1st fairway seemed entirely unimpressed by Phil Ormesher’s ball skimming her eyebrows.

A healthy field of forty members took to the course with a very credible thirteen players playing to par or better. Further evidence that retirement, moderate exercise and selective hearing are the perfect recipe for golfing success. Life is clearly treating the seniors very well on afternoons like this. Meanwhile, the Friday wine club were in excellent form out on the patio, bravely soldiering on despite the absence of the mercurial Art Laird. Spirits remained high, glasses remained full, and by mid-afternoon, several members were confidently explaining how they had “left at least five shots out there”. Special mention must also go to Steve Bird, recently armed with two working eyes after recent laser treatment, now proudly claiming he can finally see his golf ball again. (Editor’s note: “armed with two eyes”???). Unfortunately, the improved vision has merely confirmed that most of his drives really were heading towards the trees all along. Still, the good news is Steve will never again have to ask, “did anyone see where that finished?” We’ll see (no pun intended).
As most will note, Ian Goodman is collecting top three finishes like loyalty points – Pete Broady might have to hand over the ‘Mr Boringly Consistent’ title before the season is out!

Five 2s scored today, Paddy Moran, Martin Franks, Michael John, Paul Collins & Joe Priestner. Please collect your sleeve of balls from Mervyn.

• One card missing, but Ig completed.
• Please don’t forget to pre-register on ig for all seniors’ rounds.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

With just two rounds of the summer league still to play, the first division leader is still Steve ‘the actor’ Barlow, but his mammoth lead has been cut to just four points by Michael John.
In the second division Steve ‘two eyes’ Bird still holds a one point lead over Art Laird and Alan Copeland. GAME ON!

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 1 June

Reporter: Steve Bird

The weather forecast said ‘Heavy Rain’ between 8 and 10 am followed by light showers. However, the total opposite was the case with no rain at all until 11 am and then a deluge. 

Thirteen hardy souls started their rounds with one team of 4 and three of 3. Unfortunately, like Scott’s last expedition to Antarctica they didn’t all make it back. For Scott, Wilson and Oates read Barlow, Rowley and Lambert who decided to call it quits after 12 holes (and who can blame them as they were the last group out and had the worst of the weather) but, to their credit, they put their pounds in the pot like true gentlemen. I can confirm that when my soggy group arrived in the clubhouse the aforementioned were having a hot drink albeit their huskies were outside.

The winning team with a creditable average of 28 points were Messrs Broady, Copeland and Hill with runners up Bird, Chisnall, Cox and Craggs on 26.5.

Gallant Bronze medallists were Bocquet, Bramall and Dixon on 24.3.

Messrs Broady and Copeland each top scored with 29 points. 

Point of Admin – the main holiday season is approaching and I am getting many very helpful messages informing me when participants are away in order that I can exclude them from the rosters. This is genuinely appreciated and I apologise in advance if I include you when you have told me you are away. It’s called getting old!

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 4 June

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 7 June

Rules Quiz answer

Correct answer is 2). Explanation: See Rule 9.4b and Definition of Stroke. If a player causes their ball to move they get one penalty stroke and the ball must be replaced. As there was no intention to strike the ball, the practice swing does not count as a stroke.

Answer to today’s anagram: Koos Alders

Find the Fact answer

Statement 2) is true. Pete worked, before and after school, at Derbyshire’s farm on Firs Lane. The floor around the water standpipe on the upper level of the farm building containing the hens had become rotten over the years. Pete fell through the floor and in an amazing piece of good fortune fell into a warm lake of pig waste which had been accumulating since the early years of the twentieth century. Some people have all the luck!