Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Steve Barlow

A bit calmer this week, no explosions. Only one of the following statements about Steve is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Steve was trapped in the lift of a building in Manchester with both members of the boyband Jedward until they were all rescued after 75 minutes
2. Steve once had breakfast with Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck and Kenny Lynch
3. Steve has driven a McLaren F1 sports car at a speed in excess of 200 mph on an airfield in Dubai

Answer below

Seniors Fun Game – Friday 20 March

Reporter: Paul Foster

A perfect early Spring day greeted 38 senior golfers. Crisp clean air that still carries a hint of winter, but without the bite, the sun giving just enough warmth on your face to make you leave the jacket in the bag. The course is waking up after the slumber of a wretched winter. A faint smell of damp earth and freshly cut grass, the kind that makes every deep breath invigorating. The recently dressed greens are basically the course’s way of saying, “Let’s see what you’re really made of.” They looked perfect – smooth and inviting like a snooker table. In reality? It’s more like putting across a marble floor that’s been lightly sprinkled with breadcrumbs. A 6-foot putt casually rolls 12 feet past like it’s late for a meeting. The putt starts on a perfect line, then hits a grain of sand and takes a sharp detour like it’s avoiding traffic. Mike, John, Richard and I reckon we missed more putts from inside 2 feet than England have missed penalties. By the turn, for any putt under 3 feet, we just closed our eyes, switched to left-handed putting and pretended it was for triple bogey (no pressure). We also proposed that we should replace our putters with brooms. I blamed my four putts from inside 5 feet on the 14th on the miss-alignment of Jupiter and as I walked off the green, I briefly contemplated taking up tennis!

Thirty eight players took to the fairways, of which just six members beat par. Just the one 2 scored today, Alan Ranscombe on the tough 13th.

Upon inspection, Bill Berry submitted a card not only legible, but also correctly totalled, internally consistent, and free from ‘creative adjustments’. Authorities are monitoring the situation.

Winner: John Armstrong with 34 points. Takes home a quality bottle of Wine Society Rioja
Runner up: Peter Willson with 33 points

Summer League – Round 1

Next Friday 27 March sees week 1 of the Summer League. We will continue to use the winter handicaps, until such time as the course is deemed ready for WHS by the club, when we will all revert to our WHS handicaps. The league is played over 15 holes (or fewer if 15 aren’t open, with scores pro-rated up to 15 holes). Players can play holes 16 to 18 just for ‘fun’ if they are in play. Please see the Strategy, Rules and Guidance document if you require further detail. Your latest Seniors handicap can be accessed from the link below. Let battle commence!

Seniors’ handicaps

Happy Mondays Report – 23 March

Reporter: Steve Gosling

Monday saw 17 golfers eager to explore the forgotten land as they headed out for the first Monday 15 hole comp of the year.

The weather was a bit cooler than last week, but pleasant enough for some very respectable scoring. 8 of 17 scored to their handicap or better.

Nobody came close though to Stephen Rowley who with the help of a 5 pointer on the 11th amassed a very decent 37 points for the day, which helped carry his teammates Steve Gosling and Dave Waggitt to victory with an average of 29.3.

Second place was shared by 2 groups, both scoring an average of 28. The groups being Andy Timms, Kevin Bocquet and Alan Copeland  and the group of John White, Sammy Lee and Phil Perry

Hopefully we have 15 holes open now going forward.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 26 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 29 March

NB. If you have your name down for the interclub match against Leigh then you will have been omitted from the booking sheet below. If for any reason you don’t make the team you can just book yourself onto one of the tee-times below.

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. See Clarification Advice/2. Information obtained by observation is not advice.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Steve had breakfast with Jimmy, Kenny and Brucie (good game, good game!).

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Rob Taylor

How well do you know your fellow senior? Which of the following facts about Rob are true and which are false?

1. In June 1976 Rob was travelling in an armoured vehicle which drove over a landmine. Other than being temporarily deafened Rob suffered no major injuries. Five days later exactly the same thing happened again. This time Rob was evacuated on a medical helicopter
2. In February 1996 Bob was evacuated from Canary Wharf forty-one minutes before an IRA bomb detonated killing 2 and injuring over 100 people
3. In June of the same year, Bob was evacuated from the Arndale Centre. 75 minutes later an IRA bomb (the largest on British soil since WW2) exploded

Answer below

Winter League – Final Round

Reporter: Paul Foster

The final round of the Winter League produced a myriad of scores and tales to be told in the bar.

The winter greens I’m convinced were designed by someone who’s never actually seen a golf ball roll. One putt bobbles left, the next one hops like it’s avoiding landmines, and the third one stops halfway like it’s suddenly remembered it left the oven on at home. I hit what I thought was a perfect putt from four feet; it took two bounces, changed postcode, and finished closer to the Manchester Ship Canal than the hole. At this point I’m not even looking at breaks anymore, I’m just aiming for the general county and hoping for the best. As Ian Goodman pointed out, my 15-foot putt on the 8^th finished approximately 1” from the hole but spent most of its journey in mid-air!

Nineteen players from the 1^st division, and twenty-two players in the 2^nd division.

No 2s scored today, and not even a sniff of a par at hole 5. Official statistics reveal; birdies – nil, pars – nil, near emotional breakdowns – several, green hit in regulation – classified, confidence levels – under investigation. In conclusion, the 5^th will be remembered not for birdies or pars, but for its incredible ability to humble every golfer who dared to challenge it. Future players on this winter hole are advised to approach it with caution, realistic expectations, and possibly a dream that someday a par will be achieved. Officially a par 3, but emotionally a par 12.

The returning antipodean Mr Craggs equalled the league high of 30 points (rounded up to 12 holes) and receives the largest cut in handicap this year. Love it!

To protect his identity the following senior’s name has been changed. Let’s call him Bill Berry. After careful examination of Bill’s submitted scorecard, the committee would like to congratulate him on producing one of the most creatively completed cards of the Winter League. Unfortunately, while the artistic use of scribbles, mystery numbers, an incorrect handicap, a name in the wrong section, scores completed for holes 10 to 17, (we only played one of those holes) and what appears to be a hieroglyph marked on the 16^th, it made the actual score slightly difficult to determine. The marker’s signature resembled a weather chart. In the interest of maintaining golfing standards, and basic handwriting, the committee politely reminds players that scorecards should ideally include, correct name in the correct place, a correct handicap, a score for each actual hole played, a marker’s signature, a player’s signature and numbers that belong on a golf course rather than in a cryptography puzzle. We look forward to the next submission and remain hopeful that, one day, we may even be able to read it!

        Results

Division 1

Division 2

Final standings for the winter league

Division 1

Division 2

That concludes the Winter League, now onto the Summer League.

Winter golf has worn me down. Muddy fairways, frozen fingers, silly hats, flags stuck in the middle of uncut grass, and a ball that feels like a rock. You turn up on a dark miserable Friday morning full of hope, and leave wondering why we bothered. But summer golf… that’s the dream, fresh cut fairways, warm afternoons, and a round that ends with a cold beer on the patio. The kind of golf where the ball actually flies (off grass and not those pesky mats), the greens roll true, and you don’t need four layers just to swing a club. Bring on the sunshine and proper golf!

We will continue to use the winter handicaps, until such time as the course is deemed ready for WHS by the club, when we will all revert to our WHS handicaps.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report

Nothing to report this week as the course was scheduled to be closed for maintenance. Normal service will be resumed next week.

Tee booking schedules for Friday 3 April and Monday 6 April

As the dates above are Easter Friday and Easter Monday there are no Seniors’ booking schedules. Please make your own bookings on IG for social golf.

Rules Quiz answer

False. See Definition of Penalty Area. If the colour of a penalty area has not been marked or indicated by the Committee, it is treated as a red penalty area.

Find the Fact answer

All three facts are true! If Rob were a cat, he would now only have two thirds of his lives left.

Rules Quiz

Golf fact

Mary Queen of Scots may have invented the idea of the caddie. She played golf in the 1500’s and had a military cadet carry her clubs, possibly the origin of the word “caddie.”

Winter League – Round 9

Reporter: Paul Foster

Early starters in the penultimate round were greeted with classic ‘British Spring’ conditions – steady rain, soggy fairways, only 8 holes open, and all on winter greens. It makes you question your life choices. A number of canny souls quickly decided being at home was the better option and pulled out. As the morning went on, the weather mysteriously improved for the later golfers, who enjoyed much drier conditions. The result? Record low numbers for the winter league with the field considerably smaller than usual. Those who did battle the elements deserve credit – if not for their scoring, then certainly for their commitment to keeping round 9 alive. Or at least for keeping the bar busy afterwards!

The entertainment continued in the car park, where I witnessed a small gathering of ‘experienced’ golfers in deep conversation – or at least attempting to be. With hearing aids at varying levels of effectiveness, the discussion quickly turned into a full volume exchange of shouts. “Where’s your card?”; “Eh?”; “Flat white for me“; “I haven’t seen him”. Several minutes passed with each gentleman confidently replying to questions that nobody asked. At one point three different conversations were happening simultaneously, none of which appeared to be related. Eventually everyone seemed satisfied that something important had been communicated, and they all retired to the bar for a bottle of red wine, (you know who you are). Great being a member of the seniors!

Just 6 players from the 1^st division, and 13 players in the 2^nd division.

No 2’s scored today.

All handicaps entered were correct for the first time ever, and all but 1 card was meticulously completed, well done all.

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Going into the final round of the winter league:

Steve Gosling still leads the 1^st division followed by Paddy Moran and Paul Foster.

Mervyn Roberts still leads the 2^nd division, followed by Paul Keenan and Barry Smith.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 9 March

Reporter: Peter Willson

A chilly grey and gloomy day with little bit of mist to start – however the rain held off and the skies lightened somewhat.

5 teams – 18 players – 3 x 4 players; 2 x 3 players

Good ol’ Team Stableford format 

Winners: Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Rich Yates – 77 points in total – 25.7 points per player.

Yes, they did again; last out and most of the other competitors waiting in the clubhouse with bated breath for their card! But through a “schoolboy” accounting error all was nearly lost. A swift re-count and the spoils were theirs to take home (again!).

In second place: Kevin Bocquet, Dave Craggs and John Hayes – 75 points or 25 points per player.

Highest Individual scores – Mike Bennett – 30 points and Steve Bramall – 29 points. Mr Handicap Secretary – I draw your attention 🙂

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 12 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 15 March

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 1 is correct. There is no penalty. See Rule 6.2b(6). If a player’s ball in play lies in the teeing area, they may lift or move the ball without penalty and play it from a tee or the ground anywhere in the teeing area.

Rules Quiz

Find the Fact – Andrew Cox

Only one of the following statements about Andrew is correct. The other two are false. How well do you know your fellow senior?

1. Andrew was once involved in a traffic accident with the late Harry H Corbett (Harold Steptoe from Steptoe and Son). Andrew claims that the accident was not his fault
2. Whilst in a hotel in Japan, Andrew enjoyed breakfast on two consecutive mornings in the hotel restaurant. Breakfast was not included in his booking. He had unknowingly ‘crashed’ two separate wedding parties, and the guests were too polite to point out his error
3. Andrew was a member of the Bell Vue Aces speedway team competing frequently at the National Speedway Stadium in Gorton, Manchester in the 1970’s

Answer below

Winter League – Round 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

After months of winter conditions that tested all members patience, with saturated fairways, slow play, continuous rain, having to play a short course, and harsh conditions – there was real relief among members that spring golf may finally be on the horizon. This was the first day’s golf for many weeks when we were not dressed like Sherpa Tensing!

Scores reflected the improving conditions with nine players from 23 in the 1^st division managing to score under par, and five players from 16 in the 2^nd division also beating par.

Two 2s scored today, Paddy Moran & Russ Jones.

Two incorrect handicaps entered from the 1^st division and two also from the 2^nd division.

Lowest gross of the day belonged to Paddy Moran & Dave Meir, both finishing just 1 over par.

In the 1^st division, second place was decided on a count-back from four winners with equal points, in what can only be described as the most dramatic non-winning moment in seniors section history, round 8 produced a finish so tight that several calculators, two pencils, one pair of reading glasses and twelve fingers were required to separate the contenders. After an intense review of scorecards, the 4 players scored a total of 29 points, Grahame Brickell scored 14 on the back 6, Paddy Moran, Barry McGuigan & Tony Dixon scored 13 points. Paddy, Barry & Tony scored 7 points on the back 3, Paddy & Barry scored 3 points on the last hole. (Editor’s note: I’m losing the will to live). Both scored 3 on the hole 3, 2 points on hole 7, 2 points on hole 8, finally Paddy beat Barry by scoring 4 points on hole 11 to Barry’s 3 points. (All this is explained in the handicap rules).

Post-Round Reactions:

One contender blamed a temporary lapse in concentration caused by Edgar and Allan Crowe

Another cited ‘winter mats trauma’

Meanwhile Grahame quietly waltzed off with the glory whilst everyone else argued over decimal margins.

Moral of the day:

In golf, every shot counts – especially the ones you thought didn’t matter at the time

And remember, nobody remembers who finished second……

PLEASE CHECK YOUR SENIORS’ HANDICAPS – link below

Results

Division 1

Division 2

Steve Gosling still leads the 1^st division followed by Paddy Moran, John White & Mike Pigott.

Mervyn Roberts still leads the 2^nd division, followed by Paul Keenan, Bob Ellison and John Hayes

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 2 March

Reporter: Steve Bird

It appears that Spring is trying very hard to meet the meteorological timetable for a start date of 1st March. This morning we were greeted by watery sunshine, no precipitation, daffodils and green keepers lightly mowing fairways. In short, the sap is beginning to rise!

A total of 16 players today made up two teams of four, two of three and one of two. For the first time in many weeks we were able to play holes 1 – 13.

The winning team with an average score of 27.75 were Alan Copeland, Charlie Hill, Steve Bramall and Steve Bird. The latter top scored with 31 points and I had the pleasure of watching Steve Bramall pitching in from a full 100 yards on the 12th for a 4 pointer.

Runners up with a creditable average of 26.75 were Colin Crail, Mike Bennett, Richard Yates and Tony Dixon. 

Point of Admin:

Last night’s bookers will have noticed that the morning of 16 March was unavailable for booking in view of the course being closed for Spring maintenance. I apologise for this, but my original Seniors’ calendar said the maintenance was being done on the 23rd, so the club must have brought this forward by a week. So apart from a couple of minor amendments the schedule and bookers are the same for the 23rd as for the 16th.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 5 March

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 8 March

Rules Quiz answer

Answer 3 is correct. See Rule 9.7b. The player gets one penalty stroke and must replace the ball or ball-marker.

Find the Fact answer

Answer 2 is correct. Andrew and his wife did unknowingly crash two wedding breakfasts. He was a speedway rider, although not a member of the Aces team. Andrew never met Steptoe.