Happy Mondays

Reporter: Peter Willson

A dry day and whilst still chilly at least the freezing temperatures had gone. 

Ground remains muddy and little-to-no run on the ball. Quiet at first but the wind sprung up late morning but I’m sure all just pleased to get out on the course again

Game – Team Stableford 

7 teams – with 21 players 

Winners –Steve Barlow, Steve Bird, Paddy Moran & Peter Willson – 24 points per player 

2nd – Colin Chisnall, Tommy Lawless and Alan Thomas – 23.3 points 

3rd – Peter Broady, Dave Craggs & Trevor Williamson – 23 points 

Tee Booking Schedule for Tomorrow:

Padding out the Newsletter

Light on news this week. It’s one of those weeks when I could have done with Rob Taylor to pad things out in his own inimitable and long-winded style!

And so I thought of the next best thing: Artificial Intelligence.

I put the following into Bing AI Chat:

“Write me a short golfing tale about Mr and Mrs Rob Taylor, playing at Lymm Golf Club in a strong wind, and Mrs Taylor gets a hole in one”.

And this is the response (I haven’t touched a single word of it). It could have been written by Rob himself. It just goes to show what a genius we have in Rob: he had arrived at Artificial Intelligence several decades before all the world’s best supercomputers caught up with him!

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It was a windy day at Lymm Golf Club, and Mr and Mrs Rob Taylor were enjoying a friendly round of golf. They had reached the 12th hole, a par 3 with a water hazard in front of the green. Mr Taylor teed off first, but his ball was caught by a gust of wind and landed in the water. He cursed and took a drop, hoping to salvage a bogey.

Mrs Taylor smiled and said, “Don’t worry, dear. It’s just a game.” She placed her ball on the tee and took a swing. Her ball flew straight and true, landing on the green and rolling towards the hole. Mr Taylor watched in disbelief as the ball disappeared into the cup. He dropped his club and ran to hug his wife, who was jumping up and down with joy.

“Hole in one! Hole in one!” she shouted. “Did you see that? I did it!”

Mr Taylor congratulated her and said, “That was amazing, darling. You’re a natural. I’m so proud of you.”

They continued their round, but nothing could top Mrs Taylor’s hole in one. She had the best score of her life, and Mr Taylor had the worst. But they didn’t care. They had shared a memorable moment, and they were happy.

Winter League, Round 2 of 10

Reporter: Paul Foster

Another fine and pleasant winter’s day. Very little wind, no sun to blind us and all on summer greens, does life get any better..?

A good turnout of 48 seniors ready to brave the extra holes on offer.

Another three incorrect handicaps used this week, one senior gave himself another 4 shots, but I spotted it..! please read the handicap page for your up to date handicap.

So, 48 players completed the 13 holes, 26 from Division 1 & 22 from Division 2.

9 played above the zone, at last this number is coming down

25 played in the zone, this number is going up, which is good

14 played below the zone, perhaps the extra holes tired a few out, It did me….!

A record six 2’s were recorded, John Armstrong, Mike Pigott, Ian Whitehead, Andrew Cox, Paul Lennie and Ron Thornton. It has to be mentioned John Armstrong scored his 2 on the 11th, scoring an impressive 5 points on 1 hole (more than my first four holes)

In the 1st Division 4 players played better than their handicap, topped by a terrific score from Michael John with 37 points, Michael got off to a great start, recording 3 points on each hole, for his first 4 holes (handicap suitably walloped). Good to see Tommy Lawless and Mike Pigott also on the 1st division podium. Mike bogeyed the first hole then played the next 12 holes in 1 under par gross, However, deviously, he kept himself warm and cosy with an impressive newly grown beard, grown without permission from the committee. I’ll be looking into this.

In the 2nd Division, 5 players played better than their handicap, the leading score belonging to Keith Melia with 35 points. John Higgins 2nd, and Ron Thornton 3rd.

Just a note here about the tennis wine group, unbeknown to me, after the late starters have finished on a Friday, Gordon Ballantyne and Art Laird purchase a bottle of red wine each for consumption with their teacakes and chips. Followed by an invitation from Alan Ranscombe, Art, Gordon and Colin Lees to join them at the Sadlers pub in Lymm. Members…please be aware of these ridiculously happy people..

Division 1 Results

Winner – Michael John with 37pts
R/up – Tommy Lawless with 32pts
3rd – Mike Pigott with 31pts

Division 2 Results

Winner – Keith Melia with 35pts
R/up – John Higgins with 33pts on a cpo
3rd – Ron Thornton with 33pts

Leader in the 1st division is now Mervyn Roberts at 3 under par, with 63 points, newly promoted from the 2nd division Phil Perry and Mike Pigott complete the top three, and are all under par.

Leader in the 2nd division is John Higgins, closely followed by Art Laid and Peter Willson.

Happy Mondays

Reporter Peter Willson

A bright sunny start with a cloudless blue sky only interrupted by passing high level jets and their vapour trails and the odd skein of geese 

A light breeze at first but it was cold. Hard frost and all on temporary greens. Played over the 13 holes open 

4 teams with 14 players 

The winners with an average of 25.5 points were 

Charlie Hill, Tony Lambert, Sammy Lee and Mike Pigott

2nd : Steve Barlow, Dave Craggs, Les Williams and Richard Yates – 24 points average 

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow: Thursday 18 Jan:

Happy 80th Birthday!

Happy 80th to Stuart White, whose birthday was yesterday (16 January).

Stuart will be presented with a LGC jumper by our chairman Mike Bennett.

Winter League – Round 1 of 10

Match Report: Paul Foster

The first round of the winter session was played on a rather pleasant day. Very little rain and no wind.

Three incorrect handicap used this week, please read the handicap page for your up to date handicap.

There were 43 players in total, 23 from Division 1 & 20 from Division 2, note division 1 is now 21 hcap and under, division 2 is 22 hcap and over.

13 played above the zone (I’ve got them..!)

21 played in the zone

9 played below the zone

Three 2s were recorded, John Armstrong on the 5th, Peter Willson & John Higgins on the 9th,

So to the all important results;

In the 1st Division 7 players played better than their handicap, topped by a super score from our chairman with 36 points. John Armstrong has now seen his handicap docked five times in six rounds, surely a candidate for the most improved player!

In the 2nd Division, 6 players played better than their handicap, the leading score of the day belonging to Steve Bramall with 38 points. The familiar name of Phil Ormesher looms large again on the podium!

Division 1 Results

Winner – Mike Bennett with 36pts
R/up – John Armstrong with 33pts on a cpo
3rd – Mervyn Roberts with 33pts on a cpo

Division 2 Results

Winner – Steve Bramall with 38pts
R/up – Art Laird with 36pts
3rd – Phil Ormesher with 35pts on a cpo

See the Leader Boards page for the full results.
See the Handicaps page for the updated handicaps.

Happy Mondays – 8 January

Match Reporter: Peter Willson

17 intrepid golfers set out in cold wintery sunshine but mainly dry underfoot with little frost but still plenty of mud. 12 holes open – played on main greens 

However but the time the 6th hole was reached a stiff breeze sprang up and it was freezing! 

Everybody was pleased to reach the warmth of the clubhouse where the cards were scrutinised and the winners were:

Steve Bramall, Tommy Lawless and Alan Thomas with a very respectable team average of 24 points.  

2nd with 23.75 points Charlie Hill, Ken Pearce, Ron Thornton and Peter Willson

Tee Booking Schedule for tomorrow (Thursday 11 Jan)

Happy New Year to all !

Comms were not very good last week. Some of us were away, and most of us have not ventured out to Lymm Golf Club, put off by the wet and windy weather.

Last week, I gave you some duff gen that I had received from rumour control. Apparently, Martin Franks is not the outright winner of Division 1 of the Autumn League; he shares first place with Michael John and John Armstrong. Congratulations to all three.

Winter League

The Winter League will begin this Friday, 5th January. Paul Foster has created an updated handicap list. See the handicap tab and/or the Seniors’ noticeboard.

On full consideration of the results and outcomes of the Autumn League, the committee has decided not to reset the handicaps for the Winter League. The adjustments of handicaps will continue on the same basis as the Autumn League.

Individual Stableford – Friday 29th December

Reporter: Peter Willson

A grey, dank morning but most managed to stay dry, if slightly muddy, throughout the round. Confusion as usual on the 1st tee – “what are we playing today ?” 

The planned Texas Scramble game was dropped and a decision made to have an Individual Stableford – played under WHS handicaps off 95% – not sure why as it’s a Seniors unofficial competition.

A little shuffling of players and off we set some at a great pace.
By the time the last groups arrived back in the clubhouse the early starters had departed – without leaving cards. From the remaining 3 groups – 10 players –  7 cards submitted and the winner Barry Smith with an astounding 30 points over the 12 holes open. Congratulations – Barry

Monies were handed over with the exception of the missing early participants – please see Barry with your contributions to his healthy purse

Tee Booking schedule for tomorrow (Thursday 4 January)

I hope that everyone is enjoying the Christian season. I know that one or two have picked up seasonal bugs unfortunately!

It’s a short newsletter this week. Not much to communicate, and not many of us have been the golf club to catch up on events.

Autumn League – Final Results

Most of the field did not turn out for round 8/8 last Friday, due to the very strong winds and rain. However, Martin Franks got 33 points, putting him in a three-way tie for top place in Division 1 with John Armstrong and Michael John on 161 points.

I believe that Martin Franks will be winner of the league on account of the fact that he had three ‘podium’ places, a 1st, a 2nd and a 3rd.

The Division 2 winner is Phil Ormesher with 156 points, Dave Craggs came second with 152 points, and Ron Thornton 3rd with 151 points.

Winter League

The Winter League will begin on 5th January. Discussions about handicaps for the Winter League are still ongoing, therefore the new handicap list is not available yet. It will be on this website by next Wednesday at the latest, and we will put a list on the Seniors’ noticeboard.

The division of handicaps for Division 1 and Division 2 will also be adjusted, to give more equal number of players in each division. The median handicap of the seniors has come down by about 2 shots in the past year. Again, this will be on this website before the Winter League starts.

Seniors’ Calendar for 2024

Thank you to our secretary Dave Craggs, who despite the holiday season has been busy finalising the 2024 calendar. You can download the calendar spreadsheet here on the Senior Section Calendar tab.

Lymm Golf Club Team Shirts

Please note that if you wish to play in the inter-club friendly matches next year, you will need a navy blue team shirt. John Armstrong has arranged next year’s fixtures, and he will be putting a sheet on the noticeboard to which you can append your name if you wish to be selected for the fixtures.

I think Steve has just a couple of shirts left in the Pro’s shop, one of which might be the size you require. If not, please tell Steve as soon as possible that you want to order a shirt. Steve needs to know there is a demand for the shirts before he can order the required minimum number for the next batch.

Similarly, if you already have shirt, that has got a bit faded or tatty over the years, and would like a new one for next season, please tell Steve as soon as you can.

Tee Booking schedule for tomorrow (Thursday 28 December)

A few of us gathered at the Choy Hing at Grappenhall yesterday. The evening was arranged by Bob, who informed us on Monday that he had invited a special guest this year: Lord Nuttall of Appleton Thorn.

The food was excellent as always, a banquet specially chosen for us by Sammy, and lots of beer!

Autumn League – Round 7 of 8

Reporter: Peter Willson

With Paul Foster away last Friday, I took over the task of checking the cards and updating the league tables and handicap list.

A fairly steady week. Not too many fireworks with the exception of Paddy Moran with a great round with 36 points followed by 3 players across the 2 Divisions on 34 points

There were 43 players in total, 27 from Div’n 1 and 16 from Div’n 2.

Only One – 2 this week – Colin Chisnall on the 9th.

Four new names appearing in the TOP 3 slots for each Division this week, who hadn’t been in the top three before. Good to see the love is being spread around.

Just 2 incorrect handicaps used.

The all-important results:

Division 2 Results:

Winner – Alan Thomas with 34 pts (CPO over last 6 holes)

R/up – Stuart White with 34 pts

3rd – Steve Bramhall with 31pts

Division 1 Results

Winner – Paddy Moran with 36 pts

R/up – John White with 34 pts

3rd – Colin Crail with 33 pts

John Armstrong still leads Division 1, but now jointly with Michael John with Mike Bennett in 3rd place

Dave Craggs is still narrowly the leader in Division 2, followed by Ron Thornton and Phil Ormesher jointly in 2nd place

Happy Mondays – December 18th

Reporter: Peter Willson

7 teams turned out on a dull and cloudy morning yet reasonably – mild until the drizzle started after 10 holes – the game a “Yellow Ball”. 

The usual confusion reigned – with 5 x 3 man teams and 2 x 4 man teams some deciding to count all scores and not designating a Yellow Baller or not dropping out in an understandable rotation. 

However a result was arrived at eventually and the winners were  

First – Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Richard Yates – 33.3 points per team member 

2nd – John Booth, Tommy Lawless and Phil Perry – 32 points each 

3rd – Colin Chisnall, Dave Meir and Alan Thomas – 31.7 points 

A re-think is required on the format it’s getting difficult for our brains to function so early on chilly dark mornings – I’ll come back with new, bigger and better formats in 2024!

Tee Booking schedule for tomorrow (21 December) for play on 5th January 2024

A big thank you to Lymm Golf Club’s Seniors from Prostate Cancer Support.

Reporter: Phil Ormesher

In the North West, on average, 1 in 6 (1 in 8 in London; 1 in 3 in Scotland!) men diagnosed with prostate cancer are already metastatic – in other words the cancer was diagnosed too late and had spread into the rest of the man’s body.

The National Prostate Cancer Audit showed that patients living in more socioeconomically deprived areas, like Warrington, are 19% more likely to present with metastatic disease.

So, you can see why we, as a local charity, focus on PSA testing – the earlier it’s found the better the chance of survival.

The £500 that was raised at the Christmas lunch will be put towards the cost of PSA testing which will be done at Warrington Wolves in February/March.

We ask each participant to pay £5, Prostate Cancer Support will pay the remaining £20 and there will be an attendance encouraging promotion run by The Wolves.

Whether you support The Wolves or not they are doing a great job in supporting the local community and your contribution will fund 25 of those tests, again potentially saving men’s lives.

Thank you, guys, your support is fantastic.

Merry Christmas!

As this is the last newsletter before Christmas: Happy Christmas to all!

If you are going away, or doing anything that you think might interest your fellow seniors, please do send me any news and photographs for inclusion in the newsletter.

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

I certainly enjoyed our Christmas Party.

Somehow, I found myself sitting at a table with some friendly, and some scary, pantomime characters!

First up was the Giant from Jack and the Beanstalk:

And then came Cinderella:

 

And then Cinderella was joined by her Sisters:

 

What a way to start the Christmas Celebrations!

Reporter: Dave Craggs

A record 54 attendees this years Seniors Christmas lunch after our usual Friday morning’s golf.

Following Grace, said by our chairman Mike Bennett, an excellent festive meal by our chef was served to us by Karen, Lyndsey, Josh and Nettie without a hitch.

Thanks to the generosity of everyone involved in the raffle we raised the magnificent sum of £500.00, the proceeds of which we have donated to Phil Ormisher’s Prostrate Cancer Charity.

Wishing all our members and families a happy Christmas and peaceful New Year.

 

Autumn League – Round 6 of 8

Reporter: Paul Foster

A couple of Christmas crackers this week with session equalling high scores of 39pts, great scores from Tony Lambert and Barry Smith.

A rare sight this week with a birdie on the 7^th with two shots gave Jim Wilson a mighty 5 pts on one hole..!!

There were 44 players in total, 30 from Div 1 and 14 from Div 2.

17 played above the ‘zone’, a good scoring day for sure, except for the stragglers at the end who were caught in the miserable rain.

21 played in the ‘zone’ which is between 25pts and 30pts where their handicap is not affected.

Only 6 played below the ‘zone’.

Two 2s this week, Mike Pigott on the 2^nd, and Tony Lambert on the 5^th See Mr Gosling.

Five players appearing on the podium this week, had not been in the top three before.

Just the one incorrect handicap used.

So to the all important results;

Division 2 Results

Winner: Tony Lambert with 39 pts

R/up: Jim Wilson with 38pts

3^rd: Jeff Chapman with 36pts on a cpo

Ron Thornton also scored 36pts

Division 1 Results

Winner: Barry Smith with 39pts

R/up: Duncan Clarke with 36pts on a cpo

3^rd: Alan Ranscombe also with 36pts on a cpo

Paul Collins also scored 36pts.

John Armstrong still leads division 1, but now over Mike Bennett, and Dave Craggs is the new leader in division 2, followed by Ron Thornton.

Happy Mondays – 11 December

Reporter: Peter Willson

 Well it started off drizzly –  got wetter and then very wet finally ending in steady heavy drizzle.

Nine very wet golfers trudged into club house for a welcoming warm drink

The victor was the course (again) but the final results :-
Game: Team Stableford

1st – Pete Broady, Phil Perry and Peter Willson – the 3 P’s – 62 points
2nd – Charlie’s Heath and Hill and Tony Lambert – 56 points
3rd – Colin Chisnall, Dave Craggs and Alan Thomas – 49 points

Newsletter Editor: Rob Taylor

Some Interesting Xmas stuff . . . .

Well, Xmas is interesting for everyone, but specifically for senior’s members . . . . at this specific time.

This coming Friday looms large on our calendars. Our much- anticipated Xmas Lunch!

All monies are accounted for – many thanks to you all for answering the clarion call of the Treasurer – and it’s super encouraging that the numbers just get stronger and stronger each year. ( Committee must be doing something right?)

So . . . . Just a few pertinent details to set the scene.

Make sure your bar card is topped up with a few loose pounds of sterling money before you leave home? The bar staff do not want to be topping you up during the rush! Your popularity may take a downturn.

Kick off for the meal is timed for 14.00 hours – We need to do this as the club is really busy at this time of year and the room needs to be cleared and reset for another function that evening. No issue though – any laggards will just be moved off into the lounge area , then the snooker room, then the car park. Depends on how long you languish in the warm embrace of your friends!

Perhaps time your arrival a little earlier then – get a pint in (bar will be manic) and a bit-of-circulation before the big sit down?

Christmas Lunch Raffle

We have had some kind donations for our Christmas raffle at our lunch on Friday. Our chairman has decided on sell tickets at £5 per strip, donating the receipts to Phil Ormersher’s Prostate Cancer charity. Please do donate any further prizes for the raffle.

2024 Seniors’ Calendar

The Senior’s calendar has very nearly been finalised for 2024. The calendar will be signed off at the next committee meeting on Friday 15th December, and published on this website.

Round 6 – Autumn Session Friday 31st November 2023

On this day at Lymm Golf Course, absolutely nothing happened.

Well, nothing of any great consequence . Some players pitched up – many did not. Those that did, faced a frozen course with all 12 holes being on temporary greens.

Ergo ( that’s “therefore” in Latin for the under educated amongst you) the planned Round 6 competition could not happen. In a word, it was cancelled.

One happy – camper though : John Armstrong.

Whilst enjoying his average round he slipped in a surprise “2” on the second ( big surprise – he doesn’t do this often) . A tear stung the corner of his eye when he was told that the competition had been abandoned but soon replaced by a radiant smile when he was told that : “Rules is rules!” Although the comp is cancelled, anyone who plays on a cancelled day will have his “2” honoured. A sleeve of magnificent balls are his to keep and cherish.! Now all you “gotta do” John is get them from out of the Treasurers grasp! Good Luck with that.

There was a hint that in some of the few fourballs, wagers were being placed – shock/ horror – gambling no less. Gold coins were seen to change hands.

Andy Ward Pairs Knockout

Peter Willson has updated the spreadsheet for the Andy Ward Pairs Knockout. Just 3 more matches to be played by 22nd December:

Tee Booking for tomorrow – Thursday 7 December, for play on 22 December

Now – what do members get up to . . . . .

Its become a bit of a tradition at this time of year when the golf is tailing off a bit and news becomes a bit sparse, to delve into some of the interesting stuff that some of our brethren get up to when they are not huffing, puffing and cursing as they tramp around the green sward.

A question, shouted across the table on Friday morning – why this suddenly came to someones mind is a mystery – triggered a grand tale.

“ Oy! Have you done finished that painting yet Mark ” said . . . not sure who now – someone anyway.

The reply? See for yourselves!

Above: Oil painting on canvas, 170cm x 120cm.
Below: some detail from the bottom left of the painting, and top right:

Yes. We think you could say this one is finished. WOW! Gob-smackingly and brilliantly amazing. Not enough space for all the words that come to mind.

One might agree? A talent at work – and you saw it here first! Not bad at golf ( he’s only a young lad you know) but give him a paint brush – goes to another level!

And there are others . . .7 completed works of Manchester scenes in total.

Mark is now exploring opportunities to exhibit this collection at a suitable venue somewhere in the city. A grand foyer would make a fine exhibition space – somewhere like City Hall, Man U Stadium? City’s ground? ( not sure about this one?) He’s hoping to interest a corporate buyer, having previously sold 3 London paintings to Silicon Valley Bank UK.

Oh, but you fancy the big one for a Xmas present to yourself? Hang it in the Hall of your baronial home in Stockton Heath? Sorry chaps – minimum 5 figure price tag – jump in early with a bundled £20k now – you might seal an early deal?

All is not lost though. There will probably be series of limited prints on the market in 2024 – watch this space! (I’m sure he’ll do mates rates!)

HAPPY MONDAYS – 4th December 2023

Marvellous what a sharp prod will do to a lazy reporter – this week’s offering arrived “toots sweet” and in grand condition. OK Stretching it a bit but it’s nearly Xmas.

And the report was . . . . nothing happened!

Newsletter Editor: Rob Taylor

There are Rules and more Rules . . .
So . as the cold weather spreads its icy grip across our fair land, the Hon Sec to the governing committee has asked us all to bear in mind a few of the senior’s rules pertinent to this season.

 

• If there are 4 or more temporary greens in play on a Friday game, the competition will automatically be cancelled. Of course you can still play, but any scores carded will not count towards the League table.
• There must be at least 9 holes open to qualify as a competition and
• There must be a minimum of 9 players who submit cards.

Unlikely item 2 or 3 will apply, but just in case . . . . . we have been told.

On the bright side –  even on temporary greens , “2”s still count!

Now . . . . a strange tale . . .

This past Friday, Paul Collins was remarking to his playing partners  as they strolled up the 6^th fairway . . . “do you know, I have never seen a ship on this canal”.

He settled into his third shot but suddenly had that creepy feeling up his spine (no not his truss slipping – the ghoulish creepy one) . He dashed the swing, with the inevitable duffed shot.

A scene straight  out of the Panto Season was captured – “Look behind you” the audience cried – “ Widow Twankey, Look behind you”. ( keep up , we are working with thin material here you know)

But blow us all down! – he then had the temerity to complain over the next few holes that his nerves were shattered following the horrible experience of being “ crept up on” by a LARGE ship.

Hence a mediocre score this outing. Any port in a storm , hey Paul!

Round 5 – Autumn Session  Friday 24 November 2023

It seems unbelievable.

In JEST  , the gauntlet was thrown down last week – “try to beat Big Ken’s  record of a 4 ½ shot deduction”. Honestly – we did not think anyone in his right mind would actually try but . . . . enter our hero for this edition – Colin Crail.

Read on:

We always start with the weather – and blow us down! It was brilliant – a bit cool, but plenty of sunshine. A “No–Excuse”  type of outing.

Dancing around the course like leaves blowing in the gentle zephyr ,  49 players . Spookily – nearly  the same as the week before.

Now – the all- important statistics you all enjoy:

• 33 from Div 1 and 16 from Div 2.

• 9 played below their handicap,( as for last week – will they never learn?)
   
• 22 played in the ‘zone’ which is between 25pts and 30pts where their handicap is not affected.
   
• 18 played over their handicap ( juicy shots back) .
   
• Two managed a “2” this week – Bob Mycock and Andrew Cox – (2 nicer men you could ever wish to meet. This is a paid for advert)

OK, so now comes the good bits ( as long as your name isn’t Colin of course)

Division 1 Results

Winner – Colin Crail with 38 points. A mind boggling 5 points clear of the rest of the entire field. Not quite up with BK but a few days to contemplate what it will be like tee-ing off on Friday some 4 shots down on where he was a mere 7 days before!  

Second place – Bob  Mycock with 33 points . Card play off .

Third  place – Andrew Cox again 33 points. Card playoff.

Mike Bennett  also scored 33pts. Lost on the card playoff though so doesn’t get an official  mention– but he still gets his handicap – chopped. Hey-ho, hey-ho , it’s off to work we go . . . loving it!

Division 2 Results

 Now – much better- Not too much to get the handicap secretary excited about.

Winner – Phil Perry with a  34 points. Including  X “4 pointers”.

Second place – Colin Lees with 31 points – 2 X 4 pointers

Third place – Dave Craggs with 30 points ( sensible chap)

But of course – only 5 rounds gone.  . . . 3 more chances to shine still to come.

Where are we in the league?  John Armstrong extends his lead division 1 over Michael John, and Phil Ormesher is still leader in division 2, followed by Dave Craggs.

Please don’t forget to check your handicap on the list – on the notice board and on our lgcseniors.com website. Still too many not playing off the correct handicap.

Now – what do members get up to . . . ?

It started as a hobby, but a Warrington man is now using his jam- making talent to fundraise for a cancer charity after being diagnosed with the disease earlier this year.

Alister Cook moved into a new house in Higher Whitley which hosts a variety of fruit trees and bushes in the garden.

Not wanting to see the produce go to waste, Alister started making jams and chutneys. This was using a range of fruits and vegetables – from damsons, apples, rhubarb, raspberries and blueberries to chillis, peppers and tomatoes.

Then the idea – why not sell the produce for the charity? Which is where we are with the project today.

Alister’s fundraising page can be found at: www.justgiving.com/page/alister-cook-1698356771782.

Alister also  intends to compile the book to compliment the project , “with all the proceeds going to Lymphoma Action.”

So now you know  . . . . . . what one of us does when he’s not playing golf.

HAPPY MONDAYS – 27^TH November

After much prompting, the report that follows was eventually winkled out of the organiser . . .

Sorry  – the weather was so dank and grey I decided to duck out on Monday – 

I don’t know if anybody else played in the Happy Mondays game. 

The quality of our reporters is the envy of the national tabloids. Honest! We get calls every day trying to poach our intrepid, lazy, layabouts.

Christmas Lunch

No stand-up-sit-down bingo this year. We’ve decided instead on a free raffle. Please feel free to donate a prize for the raffle. Perhaps a bottle of something? Dave Waggitt has already offered a few balls he found recently on the course: 2x Pinnacles, 1x Donnay, and an old Penfold.

Tee Booking for Tomorrow

Newsletter Editor – Rob Taylor

Clairvoyance – or just luck?

The spirits  speak to us . . . .

Now here’s a tale to send shivers down your spine – remember the conundrum offered up at the end of last week’s newsletter – a picture from our archives ? Dragged randomly from the Gallery.

“Is big Ken actually THINKING?”

Ok. Nothing unusual there –  the suggestions of what he might be doing rolled in over the week, but the REAL message from the misty past struck home on Friday. The results from round 4 finalised  and this echo  from the past wrote itself as a new headline . . . .

Yes. He was awake , and yes, he was thinking – BUT what he was ACTUALLY thinking was…….

“I wonder how it feels to be docked 4 ½ points  in one game?”

So read on and laugh and cheer and weep and slap your sides with mirth – Big Ken is enshrined into our Hall of Fame.

You have got to Love Senior’s handicapping – it’s a fountain that just keeps giving!!!

Autumn League round 4 : Friday 17^th November 2023

And the sun shone, and the wind abated, and the temperature rose and . . .there was certainly too much red wine supped the night before.

In truth – the weather did what it had for many a long time. C’mon! It’s Britain in the Autumn – what ARE you expecting!

The field shuffled round in the gloom.There were 50 players in total, 34 from Div 1 and 16 from Div 2. Now that’s a good turn-out in Autumn.

• 10 played below their handicap,( silly boys)
   
• 22 played in the ‘zone’ which is between 25pts and 30pts where their handicap is not affected.
   
• 18 played over their handicap.
   
• No one managed a 2 this week again.

The treasurer was seen to smile over this last statistic – unkind people said it was “wind”.  Having suffered at his hand as a late payer of a match fee before – I go with the “wind” theory.

OK, so now comes the good bits ( as long as your name isn’t Ken of course)

Division 2 Results

Winner        –         Ken Pearce with a MIND BOGGLING  39pts

R/up             –         Ron Thornton with 33pts

3^rd                –         Ken Narraway with 32pts

Division 1 Results

Winner        –         Bob Ellison with 35pts (not the same Bob who told this reporter not a few months ago “ Oh , I couldn’t hit a cow in the bum with a banjo –  my game has gone to pot” – surely not him?)

R/up             –         Grahame Brickell with 33pts on a card play-off.

3^rd                –         Steve Gosling also with 33pts.

Charlie Hill also scored 33pts. Charlie doesn’t get an official  mention though as he was fourth – but he still gets his handicap – chopped. Love this  reporting job – really do!

 And how are we going with the league?

• John Armstrong now leads division 1 ( need to recheck the figures here. John A – actually leading something?)  ,
• Phil Ormesher still the leader in division 2.( definitely need a recheck. Wolf in sheep’s clothing methinks)

But of course – only 4 rounds gone.  . . . 4 more to go.

 4 more opportunities to take Big Ken’s record away from him.

Come on guys ! Someone can shoot a reasonable 40 points surely????

And PLEASE . A couple, or even three  “Two’s” this week? Steve is looking far too happy – Make a young man happy. He thrives on misery and complaint.

Other options – The Big Ken  – “ was he THINKING?  Conundrum”.

Of course, while BK was limbering up for his assault on the handicap system, others were offering up their ideas on what was actually going on in the picture . . .

“ Early example of AI at work. In the original frame ( before doctoring) he was in his natural state . . .asleep”

Then there was one a bit punchier  . . . . . . .

“ I wonder if Les Fecitt is actually going to buy me a coffee today? . . .”

Then there was a page of prose:

“There is a very old “West Country” saying  . . . “Sometimes I sits, sometimes I thinks, but mostly I just sits”.

This study of “Art in Motion” (OK. Stretching the motion bit) was taken by a budding David Bailley in our  section (oh c’mon, surely you remember who he was – maybe he still is- not sure? Photographer to the rich and famous) 

Or perhaps reminiscent of Whistlers Mother? ( Mother? Now you are stretching it)

Or maybe Rodin’s “The Thinker”?( Thinker? No chance)

Or maybe “ Mohammed contemplating the Mountain”?

It just proves  . . . Art is – everywhere, if you take the time to look.”

There were others, all along these themes- over half a dozen replies in all via e-mail, WhatsApp and one shouted across the car park ! It’s a great comfort to know that you need two hands to count the number of our readership every week.

And who was the contributor of the “page of prose ?  Either a latent Shakespeare, perhaps a closet Dickens ? You’re probably right – an escaped lunatic actually – but does this not  make him a perfect candidate for taking a turn at the editing role???

Step forward that man – let your light shine out!

Happy Mondays – 20^th November 2023.

OK – the basic statistics. Yes , the crazy people are still turning out in their droves and yes – they did play on Monday.

No  Blizzard nor deluge will stop them.

 And what did they play? ( something really simple we hope?)  Yes! A Team Stableford.

Basics : Teams – 6 comprising 18 players . One would hope teams of 3? But who knows with the current management.

The winners ? Ken Pearce ( that fellow again – need an investigation) and Peter Willson ( the organiser no less) . 19.5 points – both went home with broad smiles and coins jingling (The committee has been advised of possible corruption at work here)

2nd – Mike Bennett, Colin Crail, Les Williams and Richard Yates – 19.3 points (CPO) ( Chairman is  this group with known bandits ? Infamy we cry)

Then they all tumbled in : The list  reads like the roll call at Warrington Prison. Charlie H, Tony, Phil P, Pete, Mark, Steve ,Eric (what? Eric Cox? Did you assay his gold coin?) Phil L ( getting near hibernation?) , Bob, Chissie, Dave C and Mr Thomas. Only a cigarette paper between them.

It just shows – anyone can play on a Monday – no matter what your criminal record smile looks like!

Oh – and a bit of gossip?  – One player booked himself in and then had a time related aberration and arrived in the car park only to find all and sundry had already departed up to the tenth. So – He  went home and decided to ( stupidly) attempt the “the queue at the Stockton Heath refuse tip”

Thereby turned a bad day into a really, really  awful day.

Another from the Archives . . . .

Remember, way back, when most of us were younger and some of you were not even seniors, we took a charabanc ( well no: actually, we all piled into Arthur’s passion wagon of the time) and took a day trip to the Senior’s open?

Well – there appeared in our next newsletter a lengthy report which had these sage words of advice on how to advance your game . . . . .

• Toss the grass up before the shot – very important to assess the wind direction (Bernard Langer was seen doing this often)
• Bending down on one knee when sighting a putt (groaning and knee cracking an added bonus)
• Wearing white and Brown two-tone shoes (obviously a senior 2019 fashion) and, occasionally do a funny walk. (quite a few seemed to have both legs down one trouser-leg at times)

The Report then went on:

For those contemplating trying out for the Tour, good news!

 It seems the catering for the players has improved immeasurably. Not many slim waistlines were seen on the course! (A bit like ours on a Friday?)It is proven: a second helping of pudding, helps to improve your game.

In the tradition of the day,  there was also a  . . . .

Newsflash– Tom Watson has announced that he is retiring from the professional circuit at the end of his round on Sunday 28^th.

On the down side; a name we have all grown up with and a gentleman player who is a joy to watch,  will no longer be out there – The up side? There is a vacancy on the Senior tour!

Sorry – it’s been a slow news week. Lazy reporters not sending in their copy. No-one forgetting to change into their  shoes and wandering out on the course in their slippers  – or any other antics.