Seniors Christmas Lunch – Friday 12 December

Author: Ian Goodman

A further reminder to get your name added to the list on the Seniors’ noticeboard for our Christmas lunch. As previously advised, the cost will be just £20 which includes subsidised entry to the free raffle. There’s no need to make any payment if you are joining in the festive revelry, the £20 will be debited from your bar account on Wednesday the 10th of December. That’s when the guest list will be finalised, so no refunds after that date.

Round 7 Autumn League

Reporter: Paul Foster

The eagerly awaited round 7 of the Autumn league was officially cancelled, not by the green staff, but by Mother Nature, who apparently decided to enter the competition herself – by turning the entire course into a small chain of lakes. During the early morning inspection, several fairways had disappeared, replaced by water hazards that were not on the course map, balls floated, ducks applauded, and the bunker on the 5^th was last seen attempting to merge with the Manchester Ship Canal. Trollies would be at risk of becoming submarines and buggies required life jackets. With the course officially more suitable for canoeing than driving (in either sense) the green staff reluctantly confirmed the cancellation of round 7.

But wait, an error from your ‘axeman’!

In last week’s newsletter, John White was declared the 1^st division winner, even though John is in division 2!

Don’t ask….the issue came to light when it was realised that the scoring system had apparently entered its rebellious teenage phase and produced the 1^st division results based on…well, nothing that resembled what it should have been. In a full investigation (featuring calculators, chin scratching and strong coffee) it was discovered a mathematical error had slipped into the spreadsheet. This error enthusiastically multiplied things it was supposed to add, added things it was supposed to subtract and generally behaved like a seniors member hacker with a new set of Ping clubs. As a result, the initial results for division 1 were about as accurate as a blindfold putt in a hurricane.

The corrected 1^st division results are published below, and the rightful winner (Koos) can relax knowing his glory is now known. Meanwhile, John White, who briefly believed he’d secured lifelong bragging rights, is encouraged to cherish the memory – it was lovely while it lasted eh John?

I apologise for the confusion and congratulate the actual winner.

Conclusion: I’m getting old, I shouldn’t had finished off that bottle of Colheita Port I opened the previous night whilst rushing the results through, and Excel is not a suggestion-based program. Actually, all of the above is rubbish, I just cocked up!

Results for round 6

Division 1

Winner	Koos Alders	32 pts (CPO)
Runner up	Richard Smyllie	32 pts
3rd place	Mark Lyons	31 pts

The 2nd division results were surprisingly correct!

Handicaps and league tables were not affected by the alcohol induced error.

Seniors’ handicaps

Leader Boards

Happy Mondays Report – 17 November

Reporter: Steve Bird

A bright, sunny, albeit chilly, morning welcomed 16 players spread over five teams. Whilst the weather was welcoming, particularly after the weekends storm, conditions did not lend themselves to low scoring with fairways boggy on the lower land, masses of fallen leaves and a low November sun making following the ball difficult. I suspect quite a few balls were lost – they certainly were in my group.!

The winning team was Colin Chisnall, Mike Pigott and Dave Craggs who averaged 25 points per head over the 13 playable holes. Dave was top scorer for the day with 31 points. 

Runners up with an average of 23.25 points per head were Mark Pickles, Paul Foster, John White and Ken Pearce. 

The remaining three teams scored 21.6, 21.5 and 21.5 pp which, if nothing else shows consistency.!

If the winners would like to catch up with me, I shall distribute the coins.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow Thursday 20 November

Author: Mike Kendal

With sunrise now getting later in the morning, there are limitations in being able to meet all the preferred playing times for the early risers that like to be out early doors. I will do my utmost to try and get those who have asked for an early tee time out in the first half of the field.

Happy Mondays tee-booking schedule for Sunday 23 November