Apparently, two of the most common anxiety dreams are:

1. Being submerged in water
2. Being naked in public.

Unfortunately for Phil Lomas, these dreams came true at the interclub friendly match at Leigh Golf Club!

Now; I was not present at Leigh Golf Club, and I have heard various conflicting versions of events. I have tried to make best sense of them. And so consider my version – after collating many witness reports – as gospel.

First, let us look at some images. Poor quality I’m afraid. They were passed on to Dave Meir from a Leigh member, and so Dave cannot provide higher resolution pictures.

Fortunately, we do not have images of Phil walking naked from the showers to his car! But unfortunately a lady golfer on the practice putting green saw Phil. We will come to that.

And so what happened?

Phil played a shot. On his follow through, his club hit his powered trolley. This set the trolley in motion towards a large pond. Phil was heard to cry out loud from the furthest extremes of the golf course. He ran (or at least walked quicker than normal) after his golf trolley and reached it just before it was about to tip into the pond.

As Phil grabbed the handles of the trolley, its momentum took him into the pond head first!

[ The report I received from Dave Meir, Phil’s playing partner, who was further up the fairway, is that after Phil’s scream he saw Phil ‘swan dive into the pond’ to save his equipment. However, we can consider this version of events apocryphal. ]

Dave Meir ran back to the pond, to see Phil ‘almost fully submerged and frothing bubbles’. Dave offered Phil a 5 iron, and managed to pull him to dry land.

Phil, whose famous moustache was green with the algae from the pond, proceeded to the clubhouse to shower. He then dashed to his car naked (almost naked, I believe he was wearing his wet Y-fronts).

Unfortunately, Phil did not escape the notice of a lady golfer, who remarked (according to John Armstrong), “what on earth has this club turned into?”

My hope is that Phil had the wherewithal to say to the shocked lady golfer:

      “Sorry. I’m not a member of Leigh. I’m a visitor from ‘The’ Warrington!”

John Armstrong phoned Phil the day after, to make sure that he had not suffered any consequences of his fall into the pond. Thankfully, Phil is fine, and sees the funny side of things!

Interclub friendly away at Warrington – Friday 21 June

Reporter: Peter Broady (CoD)

A great day for golf, bright sunshine with a light breeze. We all met in the Appleton Lounge for either a bacon or sausage bap before playing our matches.

Big thank you to Grahame Brickell for stepping in last minute for Bob Mycock who picked up a bad cold the night before.

The course was in excellent condition, greens running true and fast. Great views form the 7th tee box looking over Warrington and the Pennines.

After the golf we all enjoyed gammon egg and chips in the lounge.
Overall a good day out, the match played in good friendly spirit with our local rivals at Warrington Golf Club.

Looking forward to the return match at Lymm so we can try and redeem ourselves from the result away from home.

Match results.

Peter Broady CoD./ Phil Perry. Won 4 + 3
Ian Whitehead/ Dave D Jones. Lost 1. Down
Paddy Moran/ Dave Meir. Lost 3 + 1
Barry McGuigan/ Steve Gosling Lost3 + 2
Paul Collins/ Grahame Brickell Lost 6 + 5
Mark Pickles / Duncan Clarke Lost 3 + 2
Mike Pigott / John Armstrong Match Halved
Andrew Cox / Keith Melia Lost 5 & 4

Match Result. Lymm. 1 1/2. Warrington 6 1/2.

Interclub friendly away at Leigh – Monday 24 June

Reporter: John Armstrong (CoD)

We had an excellent day’s golf at Leigh, which ended in an honourable draw of 5 -3 in Leighs favour. The course was in a lovely condition, nice fair ways and very fast greens.

The weather was blistering hot, which is perhaps just as well considering Phil Lomas’ thorough soaking in a pond!

Results

John Armstrong and Russ Jones, Won 2 and 1
Peter Willson and Art Laird Lost, 1 down
Phil Ormesher and Paul Collins, Lost 9 and 7
Phil Lomas and Dave Meir, Halved
Sammy Lee and Jeff Ashurst, Lost 8 and 6
Mervyn Roberts and John Woodward, Lost 3 and 2
John Higgins and John White, Won 2 and 1
Steve Gosling and John Hayes, Halved.

Next match Davyhulme away.

Bottle of Wine Competition Friday 21 June

Reporter: Peter Willson

No summer league game today, due to the away match at ‘The’ Warrington.

28 entries – fine day with slight breeze 

Winner: John White – 30 points
2nd: Phil Lomas – 29 points
3rd: Bob Ellison – 28 points – CPO from Colin Lees and Rob Taylor 

A note on tee booking

Please remember, before every Thursday evening, to see the weekly draw sheet to see if you have been nominated as a tee booker, or to see what time you should be booked in for.

Shortly after 8pm on Thursday evenings, make sure you have been booked in by the nominated tee booker. If you haven’t, book in yourself and the other three members. Grahame Brickell has received a few complaints from members who are not booked in. There is nothing that Grahame can do to rectify such problems, because he will be already booked in himself.

Tee booking schedule for tomorrow – Thursday 27 June

Note that tomorrow’s booking schedule is for the Gordon Wood Trophy, to be played on Friday 12th July.

The Gordon Wood Trophy is an 18-hole competition, off yellow tees, open to members of the senior section only.

Happy Mondays – 26 June

Reporter: Paul Foster

A hot summer’s day, with lashings of sun cream barely rubbed in, milk white legs on show and an assortment of silly hats…!! Eric Cox sensibly had his umbrella up for most of the day.

Due to an away inter club friendly on the same day, there were just 3 teams to compete for the gold coins.

Team stableford was the game of the day, and most unusually everyone played to the same rules…!!!

In first place were team Thomas, Copeland (winner again) and Bramall, with an impressive average score per person of 28pts per person. Including three 4 pointers and 7 blobs

Runner up were team ‘silly hat’ Fecitt, Rigby, Bird and Cox with a score of 27.25pts per person. Including just one 4 pointer and 5 blobs.

Alas, in 3rd place (last….!) and this week’s silly boys were team Broady, Foster, Crail and Les ‘keep your left arm straight’ Williams, all of whom were more interested in discussing England’s poor performances than concentrating on the golf…with a pathetic 24.75pts per person, including zero 4 pointers and 7 blobs.

But as usual a great day was had by all, with lots of merriment on the patio when it was revealed Pete ‘Boring’ Broady missed the fairway on the 14th. Pete hasn’t missed a fairway for nearly 2 years….

Happy Mondays tee booking schedule (Sunday 30 June)

Summer at last!

I think that our golf course is looking great with the arrival of summer. And there is no better place to enjoy a cold beer!

Here are Mr Captain (right) and members of the senior section, in the volunteer working party, making hay while the sun shines:

Welcome to new member, Alan Copeland

Hello Seniors 

I am Alan Copeland. I was brought up in Statham, and now live in Thelwall, I’m a recently retired self-employed bricklayer. 

I played golf at Antrobus Golf Club about 15 years ago, but took up running and fell walking to keep myself fit. What started as a weekly parkrun soon developed into marathons and completing all 214 Wainwrights. 

Now I am retired I have the time to take up golf again and I have received a warm welcome at Lymm and look forward to meeting and playing with you all. 

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles