Paddy Moran (CoD) more than delivered on his promises with a record-breaking honourable draw at home against High Legh last Friday:
7 wins for Lymm.

I was a proud member of the team, although Paddy gave me a mild bollocking for not being present at his pre-match speech to the team (I was on the practice ground, attempting to recover form with my irons!). I did however hear reports from fellow team members that Paddy’s early-morning speech was truly inspirational, and was somewhat akin to Shakespeare’s redaction of Henry V’s Saint-Crispin’s-day speech at Agincourt:

“Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words…

“And senior golfers of Lymm now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That played with us against High Legh upon Captain Patrick’s day.”

In all seriousness, it was a very enjoyable and very competitive day. John Armstrong did his best to match our handicaps with opposition handicaps as closely as possible. All but one of the matches were very close. And so perhaps it was indeed the influence and the competitive spirit of of our PE-teacher-in-residence that gave us the necessary edge. None of us wanted to report back to ‘Sir’ that we’d lost our match!

Here is Paddy’s report, including all the names of those who fought with us on that unforgettable day:

Interclub Match versus High Legh, Home at Lymm, 26 May 2023

Captain’s Report: Paddy Moran

The sun shone. The course was in great nick as Andrew our Chair of Green was playing the High Legh Course Manager and had no option but to pull out all the stops! Karen and her staff as usual provided an excellent meal. Visitors were very impressed both by the course and the catering. John Armstrong provided me with a fine body of men, and after a rousing pre-match speech – reminiscent of when I Captained Lymm Rugby Club – we set out to do battle.

A very impressive 7-1 Honourable Win (just a little dig at Bob) makes me the most successful CoD.

Mick Pigott / Paddy Moran won 2/1
Stuart Baird / Steve Barlow won 1up
Jeff Ashurst / Steve Gosling won 1up
Andy Timms / John Armstrong won 3/1
John Higgins / Richard Yates lost 3/2
Paul Lennie / Grahame Brickell won 5/1
Mark Pickles / Mervyn Roberts won 2up
Andrew Cox / Peter Willson won 3/2

Excellent, men. Well done!

My post-match joke was better than Bob’s of course. But an ex-friend of mine, Peter 2ll’s, intimated that Bob got a slightly louder response. I have booked Peter an appointment with Amplifon.

Watkins 2:
Well done Colin Hughes and Michael John!

The senior section’s bogey golfers are giving the younger guys a run for their money in the Saturday comps off the white tees.

Colin Hughes came in with the best net score of the day, winning the Watkins Round 2 competition (medal), with 91 net 67.

Michael John came fourth, putting him in the prize money for the third consecutive week, with 88 net 69.

And just as impressive on Saturday was Peter Broady, who came 10th. I know that Peter is not yet quite fighting fit from his recent knee op. It is great to see him beginning to return to where he was a year ago.

Individual Stableford, 26th May, alongside High Legh Match

Only a superb 37 points over 15 holes by David Meir (12) last Friday denied Peter Broady (15) a bottle of plonk in the Friday individual Stableford:

Cards submitted: 24.

Weather: Light breeze, some cloud but lots of sun late morning. Eventually 18 deg. C.

Winner: David Meir, 37 points
Second: Peter Broady, 33 points
Third: Paul Wright, 32 points

Bottle of wine goes to Dave.

Tee Booking Schedule tomorrow (Thursday 2nd June)

This is the tee booking schedule for play on Friday 16th June, Round 7 of 10 of the summer league. If your name is in the left column, please book for your group. 

The funeral of Eric Harper

I have just been informed that the funeral of Eric will take place on Friday 16th June. Details to follow next week.

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

Well done Michael John, on winning the Gents’ Spring Meeting on Saturday 20th May by a clear 3 shots!

Michael reports that his golf has come on “leaps and bounds” since he’s stopped “competing in the seniors”. The Spring Meeting was indeed a fruitful meeting of the recent logarithmic growth of Michael’s WHS handicap and a subsequent run of good form.

Michael’s first place follows on from Michael’s 3rd place in last week’s Saturday competition (the Watkins Cup round 1). He is the current leader of LGC’s Order of Merit.

And well done to Mike Pigott, who also had a good day on Saturday. Mike has usurped our own Steve Gosling from the top of the Hole-in-One list, a position that Steve had held since last August:

Mike’s Hole-in-One was a perfectly executed shot: one bounce and in:

 

Interclub Match versus Bramhall, Home at Lymm, 19 May 2023

Captain’s Report: Steve Gosling

The morning did not start well as we had rain for the first 7 holes before it brightened up and clothes dried off.

During those first few holes if you were in the rough ( as I frequently was) you got soaked from the long grass.

Results were an improvement on recent matches (Bob’s captaincy excluded) but we continued our run of honourable draws, i.e. we lost again

Steve Gosling / Mark Marsland – Loss
John White/ David Craggs – Loss
Bob Mycock / Pete Broady – Loss
Mark Pickles / Ken Narraway – Loss
Peter Willison / John Higgins – Win
Mike Pigott/ Grahame Brickell – Half
Paul Collins / John Haynes – Win
Barry Smith / Phil Lomas – Win

Learnings from the day……
Must play from the 10th tee , we appear to win matches from there
All jokes are old ones ….if you have been around as long as some of our members!

Comedy Rankings?

Steve Gosling’s joke – as Captain of the Day – met with a few laughs, a few groans, and a chorus of, “the old ones are the best, Steve!”

However, Steve is by no means the worst stand-up comedian in the senior section. Currently, that title goes to Mark Pickles, yours truly, whose joke at Northenden last year met with almost no laughs, although, to be fair, Dave Craggs’ phone went off just before I was about to deliver the punchline!

I admire anyone who knows he is not a natural-born comedian, but stands up and gives it a go in any case!

Today, by far the funniest after-match speaker in the senior section is Bob Mycock, or at least that’s what Bob Mycock tells me. (I wasn’t there for his last Captain-of-the-Day speech and ‘mermaid’ joke, but he assures me that it ‘brought the house down’.)

However, this coming Friday, at a home match against High Legh, our Captain of the Day will be Paddy Moran. I know Paddy very well, and although we’ve had a lot of good laughs over the last two years, I’ve never pictured him as a stand-up comedian. Nevertheless, Paddy tells me that he is “much funnier than Mycock, and without any of the smut”.

I’m looking forward to the match this Friday (I’m in the team), not least for Paddy’s speech. Did you know that Paddy’s son – who started out as a teacher of French and Spanish – changed career and is now a professional stand-up comedian?!!!

Individual Stableford, 19th May, alongside Bramhall Match

14 cards submitted. Light breeze, rain for the first 6 holes then cloudy but sunny spells. Temperature rose to 18 deg. C.

Winner: Andrew Cox – 30 points
Second: Rob Taylor- 29 points
=Third: Eric Cox and Joe Priestner – 28 points

Andrew receives a bottle of wine.

Interclub Match versus Ringway at Ringway – Wednesday 17th March

Captain’s Report: Trevor Williamson

A glorious day at Ringway today. We all agreed that the score didn’t matter – win, lose, or draw, the opportunity to play on such a good course, in great condition, on such a fine day, was all that mattered. Good job, because we lost 6 1/2  to 1 1/2!! 

Congratulations go to Peter Wilson/Richard Yates, David Meir/Steve Gosling, Andy Timms/John White, who managed to halve their matches.  The other pairings fared less well.  

Andrew Cox/Trevor Williamson, Steve Barlow/Jeff Ashurst, Mike Bennett/Grahame Brickell, Paul Lennie/Barry Smith, Sammy Lee/ Melvyn Roberts, all promise to do better next time, 

Home advantage, where local knowledge, especially on the greens, was the deciding factor.

We hope to demonstrate this in the return leg at Lymm, in June. Turning round a 5 match deficit will be a bit of a challenge, but like the miracle at Jericho, those involved today share a belief it is possible, if selected! 

Tee Booking Schedule tomorrow (Thursday 25th May)

This is the tee booking schedule for play on Friday 9th June, Round 6 of 10 of the summer league. If your name is in the left column, please book for your group. 

Happy Mondays – 22 May

Reporter: Steve Gosling

An assortments of shorts and white legs arrived early on Monday, 6 teams went out for a Team Stableford in the sunshine.

Scooping the cash this week was Phil (four point) Perry and Steve Gosling
A respectable 30.5 average

Second place with an average of 28 were Bob Mycock, Charlie Heath and Phil Lomas

Third with 27.3 , Eric Cox, Pete Broady and Paul Foster

Consensus going forward was to use Senior Handicap and not WHS for the Monday comp, as it’s over 15 holes and WHS for many is outdated with very few 18 hole cards being submitted.

Eric Harper

I was informed today that Eric Harper passed away yesterday. This is indeed sad news for our senior section, and perhaps someone in our section who knew Eric well will send condolences on behalf of us all to his loved ones. I will report further next week, as appropriate.

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

Bob Mycock’s enormous promise of a victory was fulfilled last Friday, as was (according to Bob at least) his promise to deliver a side-splittingly funny captain’s speech.

Interclub Match v Helsby, Home at Lymm, 12 May 2023

Captain’s Report: Bob Mycock

An early start for the Seniors Team, and carrying the additional burden of seeking our First Win of the Season (Honourably) of course.

However, on the Captain-of-the-Day’s orders, a “Stuffing was required to restore our self esteem” and nothing less.

We were helped by Glorious Weather, and the inclusion of Keith Melia (Business Manager) making his debut, who prepared the course to our liking as a Master Stroke. He also Won his Game alongside Dave Meir 4&3 and was rewarded with an exquisite introduction at the start of the speeches. “I’ve never been Introduced like that before”, Keith said afterwards; of course he hasn’t, it was a first!

The Helsby Team turned up ready to engage us on the Golf Course, but found that on the day we were formidable opponents and they trailed in 4-ish hours later, crushed, in the nicest possible way. At last we are victorious finishing with a 6 -2 Honourable Win.

Bob Mycock/Mark Marsland – Win
Mike Pigott/Pete Broady – Half
Steve Gosling/Phil Lomas – Won
Colin Crail/John Higgins – Won
Paul Collins/John Armstrong – Won
John Hayes/Barry Smith – Lost
Dave Meir/Keith Melia – Won
Peter Willson/Rob Taylor – Half

Excellent contribution by all on the day, and who played in a friendly spirit with lots of banter.

An excellent meal of Gammon followed.

Conclusion to the day featured a (risqué) joke from the hosting Captain (Me) about mermaids’ mammaries, which brought the house down.

Hopefully someone explained the joke later to Rob Taylor, who left shaking his head disapprovingly. However I’ve been assured that my membership of the senior section is still valid…

Individual Stableford (Alongside Helsby Match)

Cards submitted: 23
Weather: Light breeze, cloudy but sunny spells. 16 deg. C.

Winner: Richard Yates – 34 points                                                     
Joint Second: Jeff Chapman, Eric Cox, Steve Barlow, Mervyn Roberts, Ken Pearce, Colin Chisnall – 29 points

A bottle of wine goes to the winner, Richard Yates.

Happy Mondays, 15th May

Here are the results of the Monday’s competition:

Game: Team Stableford

1^st – Michael John, Steve Barlow and Colin Chisnall – 28.7 points
Joint 2^nd – Steve Gosling, Paul Collins and Phil Perry – 27 points
Joint 2^nd – Pete Broady, Paul Foster and Grahame Brickell – 27 points
4^th – Dave Waggitt, Eric Cox and Alan Booth – 26 points
5^th – Charlie Hill and Phil Lomas – 25.5 points
6^th – Mike Bennett, Colin Crail and Richard Yates – 24.7 points

Tatton League – Hosted at Heyrose, 16 May

Format: 4BBB, 85% handicap.

As the previous round, hosted at Lymm, conditions were tough yesterday at Heyrose, hence it was a low-scoring day. All the recent rain meant there was little run on the ball, and the rough was penal. A fairly stiff breeze added to the difficultly level.

Only one of the four Lymm teams – Mike Pigott and Martin Franks – came in above level twos, with 38 points. Martin had a particularly good back 9, which included 3 birdies. He also won a bottle of wine for one of the ‘nearest the pin’ prizes (as did our own Sam Leach).

We came a disappointing third on the day, which means we have slipped from first to second overall. Next round is at Antrobus in mid June, where we hope we can recover our leading position.

Here is a photo of yesterday’s leader board:

Tee Booking Schedule tomorrow (Thursday 18th May)

This is the tee booking schedule for play on Friday 2nd June, Round 5 of 10 of the summer league. If your name is in the left column, please book for your group. 

Well, our unbroken series of ‘honourable draws’ continues, with yet another loss against Hale last Friday. However, we very nearly achieved an actual draw! Captain of the Day Peter Willson tells me that Hale clinched the victory with a chip-in on the last hole, meaning we lost 3.5 to 4.5.

Could a victory be around the corner? Bob Mycock promises so. He will be Captain of the Day this Friday, in the match against Helsby. He has already written his victory speech, and a side-splitting joke.

Inter-club Match v Hale, Home at Lymm, Friday 5 May

Captain’s Report: Peter Willson

The day started a bit overcast but the sun broke through by 08.45 with light winds and a fairly dry course. However in my match by the 12th hole the heavens opened and the course became flooded in several places included the driveway and the 18th green. In line with our perverse weather by the time the 13th green was reached the dark clouds had rolled away and blue skies returned.

Hale were hampered a little by one of the players oversleeping and turning up about an hour late – but he made lunch.

The meal was a very good curry, chips and rice followed by that traditional Indian dessert – apple crumble and custard – thoroughly enjoyed by all I spoke to.

Despite hopes and desires the overall result was a loss for Lymm but the losing margin is reducing and surely we will work our way toward a first team victory for Lymm over the next weeks.

Result – Lymm 3.5 : Hale 4.5

Michael John / Phil Ormesher – Won 2 up
Barry Smith / Stuart Baird – Won 2 up
Peter Willson (CoD) / Paul Lennie – Lost 1 down 
Phil Perry / Alan Ranscombe – Lost 5&4
Colin Hughes / Art Laird – Lost 3&2 
Tommy Lawless / John White – Halved on the 18th (outrageous chip-in by Hale)
Phil Lomas / Dave Meir – Lost 4&3 
Trevor Williamson / Steve Barlow – Won 3&2

Individual Stableford (alongside Hale match)

Only 16 cards submitted. It seems that some walked in after the 9th, due to very heavy rain, which partly flooded course for a while.

Winner: John Armstrong – 35 points
2nd: Paul Foster – 31 points
3rd=: Joe Preistner, Mike Pigott and John Hayes – 30 points

Bottle of wine goes to John Armstrong.

Tee Booking Schedule tomorrow (Thursday 11th May)

This is the tee booking schedule for play on Friday 26th May. Due to a home match against High Legh, there will be no league match, and therefore a prize of a bottle of wine. If your name is in the left column, please book for your group. 

Here is the team for the match against High Legh, between 08:32 and 09:12:

Paddy Moran
Jeff Ashurst
Colin Crail
Grahame Brickell
Stuart Baird
Paul Lennie
Mark Pickles
John Higgins
Andy Timms
Mervyn Roberts
Andrew Cox
Richard Yates
Steve Gosling
Dave Craggs
John Armstrong
Steve Barlow

Welcome to two more new members

Firstly, we welcome Keith Melia, our business manager, to the senior section. I’m sure that you all know Keith, and some of us have had the opportunity to play with him in the Saturday competitions, and look forward to his participation with our section.

Secondly, welcome to Mike Kendal.

I asked Mike if he would like to introduction himself, and he has kindly sent this photo and this short introduction:

“I’ve run a marketing agency for the past 30 years which, happily, I’ve had wrestled out of my grasp by an acquiring party which has given me the opportunity to retire. 
From Blackburn originally, I’ve lived around the Hale area for around 30 years having moved out to Agden, Lymm 4 years ago when I moved from Ringway GC to Lymm GC. Observing a handicap of 19.2, I’m looking forward to having a bit more time to spend on my game whilst having the chance to meet a few more members.”

Our best wishes for Eric Harper

I was informed today that Eric Harper is in hospital with a serious illness. I’m sure I speak for everyone in the senior section in conveying our best wishes and our hopes for a good outcome.

My wife has recently taken up golf. This involves her asking many questions about golf terms, rules and etiquette that most us take for granted. I have come to realise what a huge and strange glossary of terms we have!

All golfing terms have their own history of course. Just a few examples: ‘Fairway’ was a nautical term for a navigable channel. ‘Stymie’ is from the Dutch ‘stuit mij’ meaning ‘it stops me’. ‘Par’ was borrowed from the stock exchange, where a stock was considered above or below its normal or ‘par’ figure. ‘Stableford’ comes from Frank Stableford, who first used the scoring system he conceived at a competition at Wallesey Golf Club in 1932. ‘Bogey’ apparently dates to 1890 at Great Yarmouth, where a Major Charles Wellman exclaimed that someone was playing ‘like a bogeyman’… More recently, the term ‘Honourable Draw’ was invented by seniors at Lymm Golf Club as a euphemism for ‘we lost again’!

Our unbroken series of Honourable Draws has continued in the past week, with an Honourable Draw at home against Heyrose, and an Honourable Draw away at Sale. However, I think we are making some progress that gives us reason for hope!

Inter-club match versus Heyrose, home at Lymm – 28 May 2023

Captain’s Report: Grahame Brickell

Having just returned from 3 days golf in sunny Spain with 3 of our good golfers I was hopeful of a Captain’s performance, but unfortunately the chilly, dull, and dampish conditions on Friday morning didn’t feature in my plan and hence my partner Jeff Ashurst and I were 1 down after 1! Didn’t fair much better on the rest of the front 9 and after one of our opponents nailed a 15 footer on the 9^th for a 2, we walked to the 10^th 4 down! And it basically stayed that way coming to 15, and with my missed par putt so a half there ended the match!… sorry team.

Overall, it was a better team performance compared with the away matches played so far, but then we were at home! With some after match cries of ‘handicap fowls’ it ended being a win for the apparent Mexican’s from Heyrose by 4.5 to our 3.5

Grahame Brickell (CoD)/Jeff Ashurst Lost 4&3
Andrew Cox/Mike Bennett Halved
Alan Ranscombe/John White Lost 2 Down
Trevor Williams/Phil Ormesher Won 1 Up
Mark Pickles/Peter Willson Won 2&1
John Hayes/Rob Taylor Lost 2 Down
Colin Hughes/Art Laird Lost 5&4
Phil Perry/Ken Narraway Won 2 Up

The individual steak pies were greatly enjoyed by all!

Grahame Brickell

Interclub-match away at Sale – 2 May 2023

Captain’s Report: Mark Pickles

This was Lymm’s first ever inter-club senior friendly with Sale, and I think we all found it very enjoyable. Sale Golf Club made us feel very welcome, and I hope that my brief ‘thank you’ speech successfully conveyed our appreciation. (I decided it was better not to tell a joke this time, because no-one laughed at the joke I told when I was captain-for-the-day at Northenden last year!)

Sale’s captain of the day had decided to match the handicaps in all matches as closely as possible. I think that this worked really well, and everyone enjoyed the competitive spirit of the day. My match partnering Steve Barlow went down to the wire, with the last putt on the 18th. And Steve Gosling tells me that his match partnering John Armstrong was similar. Well done to Bob Mycock and John Hayes, and to Andrew Cox and Richard Yates on winning away from home on an unfamiliar course.

All the matches were fairly close, and they all went to at least the 16th hole. I think this was good, considering that some of the team had never played at Sale before yesterday.

Result: Lymm lost 6 to 2
Mark Pickles (CoD)/Steve Barlow Lost 1 Down
Bob Mycock/John Hayes Won 2&1
Grahame Brickell/Rob Taylor Lost 2 Down
Andrew Cox/Richard Yates Won 4&2
Paddy Moran/Mike Bennett Lost 3&1
Steve Gosling/John Armstrong Lost 1 Down
Paul Lennie/Jeff Ashurst Lost 2 Down
Pete Broady/Phil Lomas Lost 3&2

Individual Stableford, 28 May (alongside Heyrose match)

Cards submitted: 35
Weather: Chilly breeze, cloudy but sunny spells later in the morning – 11 deg. C.

Winner: Stuart Baird – 35 points                                                        

Second place: Paul Collins – 34 points                                                        

Third= place: Eric Cox and Pete Broady – 33 points  (CPO over last 6 holes)

Bottle of wine goes to the winner, Stuart.

Tee Booking Schedule tomorrow (Thursday 4th May)

This is the tee booking schedule for play on Friday 19th May. Due to a home match against Bramhall, there will be no league match, and therefore a prize of a bottle of wine. If your name is in the left column, please book for your group. 

If your name is not on the booking schedule, you are probably in the provision team list for the Bramhall match. Here is the provisional team (15 names so far):

S Gosling CoD
M Marsland
J Higgins
B Smith
J Hayes
P Broady
B Mycock
J White
P Collins
M Pickles
P Willson
D Craggs
M Piggott
P Lomas
G Brickell

The WhatsApp Group for Inter-club friendlies

John Armstrong reports that there is too much ‘chat’ activity in the group. Please keep your inputs to essential information for John to arrange the matches. This makes it easier – for those of us who need to ‘mute’ notifications – to search for the information we need when we need it.

You do not need to tell us all when you have paid your fees to Steve Gosling. Steve can see who has and has not paid into the bank account.

Steve reminds us to pay as soon as possible, and to please include your surname in the payment reference. (I think that money from some bank accounts automatically show the name of the payer to Steve, but other accounts do not.)

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles