For the benefit of our antipodean and equatorial readers (including Duncan Clarke in Malaysia), I can report that the weather in Cheshire has been far from perfect for golf. The neighbouring courses have been closed. Lymm has managed to keep open the top half of the course, 10 holes, or down to 8 holes on the particularly wet days.

In a single week we have had the full gamut of winter weather. Battering rain-filled winds, freezing fog, sleet, and, this Wednesday morning, snow. As Martin Franks remarked, it has felt like some kind of golfing endurance test.

Duncan, who says he is missing us, has kindly sent us a postcard from Malaysia, ostensibly to cheer us up: The Els Course at Desaru, by the South China Sea:

Match Report for Winter League: 2 of 10 – Friday 13th January

Forecast was sunny intervals and light showers, with a cold and fresh wind. Many seniors crossed their name off their tee time – presumably due to the wind and low temperature – and so we had to re-arrange the groups before teeing off.

Andrew Cox arrived early, having re-booked himself because he had been left isolated for his mid-morning tee time. He said, “I don’t do rain, but I don’t mind the wind; forecast says the chance of rain is a low percentage”.

The force of the wind was enough to accelerate an unbraked trolley, and therefore umbrellas were out of the question. We were thinking: “with a bit of luck, we will stay dry”. But we were unlucky: this was Friday 13th after all!

After less than an hour, the rain came. It was heavy, horizontal, and there was no respite. It felt like we were being pummelled with the contents of a fire hose. We all got soaked to the skin. Nevertheless, remarkably, some scored 20 points or more over the 10 holes (aggregated up to 15 holes). On-form Michael John – despite his reputation as a fair-weather player – won for the second time in a row with 33 points. And Charlie Heath also repeated his good first round score, with 32 points.

Results:

Division 1:
1st: Michael John (33 points)
2nd: Charlie Heath (32 points)
3rd: Bob Mycock (31 points, on card play off)

Division 2:
1st: Phil Perry (30 points)
2nd: Colin Chisnall (26 points, on card play off)
3rd: Alan Thomas (26 points)

Peter Willson tells me that only 21 (very soggy) cards were returned, therefore I will not update the leaderboards this week. I will update them after Round 3, following which they will be more meaningful.

Weekend competition report: ‘Vegas Scramble’

[ Vegas Scramble is like Texas Scramble, except the choice of whose drive to use is determined by the throw of a dice! ]

Confusion was the order of the day when the results for the Vegas Scramble were eventually posted on the website. Unfortunately, despite the rules stating that it was a stableford competition, the initial results posted were based on a medal result. However, after some recalibration the final result eventually saw a couple of players from our senior brotherhood appear in the top three teams. Congratulations go to Martin Franks for his team’s second place and to Jim Wilson for his team’s third.

For some of us it was a relatively miserable experience, not to be repeated. The early starters had to endure the worst of the weather conditions, the roll of the dice was extremely unkind in determining which drive to take and it took over two and three quarter hours to complete the ten holes that were open. Other than those minor details it was a thoroughly enjoyable day!

Reporter: Michael John

Happy Monday Maniacs

On Monday, 15 intrepid masochists, dressed like they were attempting an ascent on Everest, turned up to play in Texas Scramble.

4 Teams of players (Steve Gosling not happy with an uneven number should maths be required) of unequalled talent and diversity. Only 10 holes were in play.

All frozen teams ambled into the clubhouse and handed in their scores. And even with Peter ‘2lls‘ snoozing on the nine previous holes, he turned up on the 10^th to find himself in the winning team of Bob Mycock. Paddy Moran, Alan Booth with a score of 27

In Second Place, with a score of 28.9 the oldest quartet of Charlie Heath, Graham Utton, Sammy Lee and lowering the average age, young Charlie Hill.

Next in with a score of 32.1 the Chuckle Brothers (Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas) with Steve Gosling and Big Ken.

And Finally, Phil Perry, Tony Lambert and yep you better believe it John Boyle On Time, Correct Day, and same Old Battered Trolley (richest man in Stockton Heath) with a score of 33.6.

Reporter: Bob Mycock

Weather Improving

The weather forecasters are promising some dryer weather for the rest of the month. We just need the temperature to rise by a few degrees, and we’ll all be saying, “who needs Malaysia?”

This a view of LGC at sunrise today; snow visible on the 13th and 15th greens.

However, the cold did not put off our hardy senior Paddy Moran, who did after all spend much of his career running up and down rugby grounds (in the days when all rugby was played in winter). The photo below is of Paddy, sailing the ball over the head of an oblivious Bob Mycock, and into the temporary green of the 8th. Poetry in motion!

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles