The Tortoise and the Hare (Friday 20 January)

The weather forecasters’ rise in temperature did not transpire. Rather, the winter-golf ‘endurance test’ mentioned in last week’s newsletter threw up new challenges and dangers: ‘golf on ice’.

A winter-league game was not possible, due to all the greens being temporary. But perhaps, we thought, there might be a bottle of wine for the best card?

All sensible players of the senior section had crossed their names off the startsheet. However, a good number of sectioned seniors, me included, turned up.

The first two characters I met in the car park were our resident pair of Charlies: Charlie of the Hill and Charlie of the Heath, muttering about the ups-and-downs of winter golf.

Charlie Heath was down to play with Bob Mycock, of whom there was no sign. With 10 minutes to tee off, Charlie said, ‘Bob won’t turn up’. Bob did turn up, about 2 minutes before his tee time, by which time Charlie of the Heath was on the 1st green, with me, and our mutual friend Graham Utton, who had just holed out with an impressive 4 (net 3), the first of a string of 3-pointers. We all knew that Bob had now arrived, because from the 1st green we could hear him laughing and talking on the car park.

Making up the fourball with Charlie, Graham and me was Tony Lambert, but Tony seemed to have disappeared between the first tee and the green.

‘Where is he?’ We looked back down the 1st fairway. There seemed to be an immobile figure, silhouetted in the rising sun, addressing a golf ball. ‘Perhaps he’s frozen solid’, I suggested. But after two minutes of what seemed like an eternity there was bodily movement. Seconds later, Tony’s ball plopped out of the sun, and then scurried like a camouflaged white mouse, boring through the crunchy frosted grass and on to the temp green.

Tony, one of our octogenarians, has a generous senior handicap, but he evidently still takes his golf seriously. His son Steven plays off 3, and so there is competitive golfing DNA in the family. He no doubt saw his chance: two free shots on most holes, on a shortened course, with bouncy frozen ground. The bottle of wine would surely be his!

On the second hole, Tony hit his driver, arrow straight. It skidded on to the temp green, three feet from the pin. Well judged!… 15 minutes later Tony arrived to hole his putt for a 2 (net 0), and 5 Stableford points!

I started to realise that this was golf in a parallel universe, where albatrosses are possible on par 3s, time is relative, and Aesop’s Fables are lived experience.

By time we’d finished, the afternoon sun was thawing things out, and it was very pleasant on the terrace. Adding to the ambience was the ever-cheery Peter Broady, almost back to fighting fitness with his titanium knee, and who came to join us for tea and a teacake.

I think Tony did achieve the best score of the day. Would he be receiving a Rioja, or a Côtes du Rhône, or even a Stellenbosh perhaps? None of these in fact. A sonorous Peter Willson announced: “We decided not to collect the cards today. Before we could agree on a format, the earliest groups had already gone haring off, doing their own thing”.

 

 

Weekend competition report: 4 man team event (3,2,1)

And so the instructions were to wear suitable footwear. Unfortunately most of us didn’t have ice skates or crampons in our wardrobe. We respected the traffic ropes although tying them around our waist to get us up the slope to the third was considered. The course conditions were challenging with 12 of the 13 holes open on winter, white greens. Despite this some of our senior brotherhood did us proud.

At the very top of the frosted mountain stood our very own Ron Thornton and Sammy Lee who, with the help of two others, scored an incredible 69 points, 15 better than par. Jim Wilson got yet another podium placing with his team in third place with 65 points. 8 of the brotherhood, including myself, didn’t get much further than base camp, appearing in 5 of the bottom placed teams. I’m guessing none of us fancied getting altitude sickness. Mark Pickles and Paddy Moran, although coming last with 46 points, are commended for trying to compete with only 3 in their team, an impossible task. John Armstrong gets a special mention for being the player the closest I have seen to putting his tee shot off the first into the car park.

Reporter: Michael John

Senior Open Competition at Vale of Llangollen Golf Club

Ron Thornton has had several enquiries about this year’s senior open at Vale of Llangollen, which is scheduled for Thursday 1st June.

Ron says that if there is sufficient interest, he will book tee times, which are presently available from 13:30 onwards.

The cost is £55 per pair. Last year one of our pairs, Bob Ellison and Duncan Clarke, won this competition, and Sammy Lee won a round of golf for two by scoring a two on the 18th.

If you would like to play at Llangollen, contact Ron as soon as possible. Book early!

Happy Monday

Once again another 16 Arctic Trained Golfers split into 4 teams of 3 and 1 of 4 turned up to face the challenge of 15 holes all on Temporary Greens. Surely, being an extra on the Film 127 hours would be less painful than having to endure this, however Seniors are a resilient Bunch .

This Weeks Competition was a Team Stableford (All to Score) 30 pts per player being Par.

It’s hard to believe that all Teams were under Par, the Handicap Committee perusing the cards as we speak for exceptional Individual Performances of which there are a few putting their names in the Spotlight for a serious reduction (you know who you are Barlow, Hill, and Pearce).

Anyway, without further Ado the results……

The Winners at -9: Paul Foster, Charlie Hill, Steve ‘Bandito’ Barlow) and Peter ‘2lls’ Willson (Peter managed to stay awake for all 15 Holes this week).

Next In at -6: Bob Mycock, Les Feccit and Charlie Heath  

Tied at -4: Richard Yates, Colin Crail and Big Ken

 Tied at  -4: Steve Gosling, Graham Utton  and Alan Thomas  (complaining about slow play: pure Karma)    

Peter 2lls  wanted it to be known that he hit his ball within 1 inch of the Hole on the 13^th, the vision of a Button Mushroom comes to mind or very small hands, make your own conclusions

See you all next week.

Reporter: Bob Mycock     

Meanwhile, Down Under

Our secretary Rob Taylor is still enjoying himself, and sends this photo.

I’m not sure what he’s doing. Is this Rob’s inimitable golf swing, or is he attempting to swat flies from his face? If it’s the latter, I’ve got a good tip, Rob. Suspend corks from the brim of your hat. Apparently it works a treat.

 

 

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

For the benefit of our antipodean and equatorial readers (including Duncan Clarke in Malaysia), I can report that the weather in Cheshire has been far from perfect for golf. The neighbouring courses have been closed. Lymm has managed to keep open the top half of the course, 10 holes, or down to 8 holes on the particularly wet days.

In a single week we have had the full gamut of winter weather. Battering rain-filled winds, freezing fog, sleet, and, this Wednesday morning, snow. As Martin Franks remarked, it has felt like some kind of golfing endurance test.

Duncan, who says he is missing us, has kindly sent us a postcard from Malaysia, ostensibly to cheer us up: The Els Course at Desaru, by the South China Sea:

Match Report for Winter League: 2 of 10 – Friday 13th January

Forecast was sunny intervals and light showers, with a cold and fresh wind. Many seniors crossed their name off their tee time – presumably due to the wind and low temperature – and so we had to re-arrange the groups before teeing off.

Andrew Cox arrived early, having re-booked himself because he had been left isolated for his mid-morning tee time. He said, “I don’t do rain, but I don’t mind the wind; forecast says the chance of rain is a low percentage”.

The force of the wind was enough to accelerate an unbraked trolley, and therefore umbrellas were out of the question. We were thinking: “with a bit of luck, we will stay dry”. But we were unlucky: this was Friday 13th after all!

After less than an hour, the rain came. It was heavy, horizontal, and there was no respite. It felt like we were being pummelled with the contents of a fire hose. We all got soaked to the skin. Nevertheless, remarkably, some scored 20 points or more over the 10 holes (aggregated up to 15 holes). On-form Michael John – despite his reputation as a fair-weather player – won for the second time in a row with 33 points. And Charlie Heath also repeated his good first round score, with 32 points.

Results:

Division 1:
1st: Michael John (33 points)
2nd: Charlie Heath (32 points)
3rd: Bob Mycock (31 points, on card play off)

Division 2:
1st: Phil Perry (30 points)
2nd: Colin Chisnall (26 points, on card play off)
3rd: Alan Thomas (26 points)

Peter Willson tells me that only 21 (very soggy) cards were returned, therefore I will not update the leaderboards this week. I will update them after Round 3, following which they will be more meaningful.

Weekend competition report: ‘Vegas Scramble’

[ Vegas Scramble is like Texas Scramble, except the choice of whose drive to use is determined by the throw of a dice! ]

Confusion was the order of the day when the results for the Vegas Scramble were eventually posted on the website. Unfortunately, despite the rules stating that it was a stableford competition, the initial results posted were based on a medal result. However, after some recalibration the final result eventually saw a couple of players from our senior brotherhood appear in the top three teams. Congratulations go to Martin Franks for his team’s second place and to Jim Wilson for his team’s third.

For some of us it was a relatively miserable experience, not to be repeated. The early starters had to endure the worst of the weather conditions, the roll of the dice was extremely unkind in determining which drive to take and it took over two and three quarter hours to complete the ten holes that were open. Other than those minor details it was a thoroughly enjoyable day!

Reporter: Michael John

Happy Monday Maniacs

On Monday, 15 intrepid masochists, dressed like they were attempting an ascent on Everest, turned up to play in Texas Scramble.

4 Teams of players (Steve Gosling not happy with an uneven number should maths be required) of unequalled talent and diversity. Only 10 holes were in play.

All frozen teams ambled into the clubhouse and handed in their scores. And even with Peter ‘2lls‘ snoozing on the nine previous holes, he turned up on the 10^th to find himself in the winning team of Bob Mycock. Paddy Moran, Alan Booth with a score of 27

In Second Place, with a score of 28.9 the oldest quartet of Charlie Heath, Graham Utton, Sammy Lee and lowering the average age, young Charlie Hill.

Next in with a score of 32.1 the Chuckle Brothers (Colin Chisnall and Alan Thomas) with Steve Gosling and Big Ken.

And Finally, Phil Perry, Tony Lambert and yep you better believe it John Boyle On Time, Correct Day, and same Old Battered Trolley (richest man in Stockton Heath) with a score of 33.6.

Reporter: Bob Mycock

Weather Improving

The weather forecasters are promising some dryer weather for the rest of the month. We just need the temperature to rise by a few degrees, and we’ll all be saying, “who needs Malaysia?”

This a view of LGC at sunrise today; snow visible on the 13th and 15th greens.

However, the cold did not put off our hardy senior Paddy Moran, who did after all spend much of his career running up and down rugby grounds (in the days when all rugby was played in winter). The photo below is of Paddy, sailing the ball over the head of an oblivious Bob Mycock, and into the temporary green of the 8th. Poetry in motion!

Newsletter Editor: Mark Pickles

Responses to our new website and our first online newsletter have been positive so far. Thank you. We will continue to consider any suggestions or criticisms. A few ideas have come in, which we will discuss at the next committee meeting.

The weather has been depressing recently, apart from for members who are enjoying warmer climes: Australia, New Zealand, Spain, and Malaysia, I believe.

It has rained every day so far this year, and the region’s golf courses are sodden. It is hard to imagine that only a few months ago our senior working party and other volunteers from the Senior Section were helping to water greens during a heatwave and drought, while the new irrigation system was being installed. We have every reason to be confident that the course will be superb for the 2023 competition season. Full credit to the green staff and all volunteers!

Match Report for Winter League 1 of 10 – Friday 6th January

Weather was fair, and the necessary first 15 holes were open. The greens were playing remarkably well, despite the frozen conditions through December and the persistent rain since the New Year.

49 cards were submitted. 16 players achieved 30 points or better, and therefore have made it on to the season’s first leaderboard (click here).

1st: Michael John (35 points) – Division 1 Winner
2nd: Mike Pigott (34 points) on count-back over last 6 holes
3rd: Jim Wilson (34 points) – Division 2 Winner

Michael went out with Mike Pigott, and Peter White. Peter himself played well for 33 points (fourth best score of the day). Michael tells me that he was inspired by the three-way competition and the ‘magnificence’ of Mike’s playing to scratch. Well done to all!

Only one 2s prize this week: Bob Mycock, for his 2 on the fifth. (I imagine it was a fluke, having seen the way Bob played the fifth on Monday!)

Happy Mondays – 9th January

After heavy rain overnight and early morning, only 10 holes were open.

A shivering Colin Chisnall turned up with an impressive suntan, mumbling something about “jet lag”, and asking, “are we all mad?”

Five groups played the best-2-out-of-3 format. We all started in squally showers and a fresh (3-club) westerly wind.

Perhaps Colin had a point, and that most us of who turned up – having driven through heavy rain in the pitch black of an early midwinter morning – are are bit nuts. Nevertheless the winning team of three acclimatised natives, Steve Gosling, Bob Mycock and Mark Pickles managed a superb score of 49 Stableford points (9 better than level 2s), well clear of the rest of the field.

Handicap-Sub-Committee Meeting

The handicap sub-committee met immediately after the Monday competition. A few handicaps have been adjusted, mainly upwards, in the hope of keeping everyone in contention this year. Peter Willson and Bob Mycock are working on a new handicap list, which will be on the Senior Section noticeboard by this Friday. Please check your handicap before you play on Friday.

As noted in the previous newsletter, we have created two divisions, around the median handicap for the Senior Section. We anticipated the median to be around 21, but it is in fact significantly higher. We have therefore set the division at 24.

24 handicap and lower is Division 1.
25 handicap and higher is Division 2.

The idea is to make things more competitive, and more fun, keeping more players in contention for a winning place. We will see how these two divisions have worked out at the end of the winter league, and, if necessary, adapt things for the Summer/Autumn league.

Andy Ward Trophy – Winter Pairs Knockout

The next round of the pairs knockout must be played by 10th February.

And Finally

Rob Taylor said he liked the Christmas postcard from the Choy Hing. Quote:

I have had it enlarged and hung on the paddock fence line to frighten the dingoes away. Seems to be working a treat. Missing you all (really??).

Rob returned the compliment, before his setting out on his round of golf at the Nelson Golf Club, “25 deg. C, fluffy clouds”:

Very nice!

Happy New Year to all members of the Lymm Golf Club Senior Section!

Welcome to our new website, which you can access from your computer or your smart-phone at the address: lgcseniors.com

For quick access on your phone, you can add this website as an ‘app’ icon (just as you can for any website). If you are unsure how to do this, ask a ‘digital native’ such as one of your Internet-savvy grandchildren.

We will publish a newsletter on here every Wednesday, and we will regularly update the various sections as our golfing year progresses.

The website is at the ‘trial and error’ stage. Suggestions are welcome for improvement, and for topics of interest that you would like to see. If you have any news to report, contact the editors via the ‘report news’ page.

Match Report for 30th December 2022

Individual Stableford, over 10 holes.

Winner: Tony Lambert, 25 points.
2nd: Les Fecitt, 24 points
3rd: John Hayes, 23 points

Well done to Tony, who will be awarded a bottle of wine.

Joe 90?

Yes, Joe Priestner is still 90, but not for much longer! Joe has asked us to join him for a glass of whisky this Friday (6 January). He will celebrate his 91st birthday on Sunday 8th January.

There are surely not many golfers in the world who can regularly beat their age with a gross card. In Joe, we are honoured to have one such player in LGC seniors!

Winter League Starts Friday 6th January

Our winter league (best 5 of 10) starts this Friday, with the first of 10 games. The format is Stableford, and as usual the winner of the league will be the player with the highest aggregate of his best 5 cards.

Please make sure you use your latest LGC Seniors handicap, which you will find on our noticeboard.

We will publish a weekly leaderboard for the league on this website.

There is a small difference to the format this year. We have decided to have two divisions, and therefore two first prizes. To create the divisions, we will take the median handicap (which I think is about 21) and create upper and lower divisions. We will confirm before the end of January (at the next committee meeting) the players in each division, and put a sheet up on the LGS Seniors’ noticeboard. You will remain in your division until the end of the Winter League season, irrespective of any change to your handicap during the season.

The creation of two divisions affects only the prizes. It will not affect the draw for start times on Friday mornings. We will continue to play as one section, i.e. your playing partners are not determined by the divisions.

The Alternative Seniors’ Christmas Dinner

A few of us, including Sammy Lee no less, had an excellent evening at the Choy Hing in Grappenhall. Someone suggested that a snapshot of the table would make a nice postcard for Rob Taylor, who is enjoying warmer climates Down Under. Season’s Greetings, Rob!

It was good to see Pete Broady, who is bouncing back with a new knee, and will doubtless be returning to the golf course soon. As you can see from the picture, Bob Mycock does not look his usual self. I think he was disappointed when Paddy told him that we would not be playing stand-up-sit-down Bingo!

New Member

Welcome to Alan Booth, who has recently joined the senior section.